How do I tell my husband's family about my surgery??

Hi everyone! I have been officially approved for RNY and my surgery is scheduled for March 5. I have great support from my friends, my family, and even a couple co-workers, however, I haven't told my husband's family yet. They tend to be a little opinionated and I know they will look down on my decision. I want to find a way to "break the news" to them in a non-confrontational manner. Maybe via a group email?? I can't tell them one on one because there are 5 sets of families and I can't deal with that....and I don't want to do it as a group because then I'll get ganged up on. Can anyone tell me what they have said to family that you knew would either not agree with your decision or just be judgemental? Any advice would be appreciated! Jen

Hi there, My family is opinionated as well.. I was 27 when I had RNY and the weeks prior to surgery, I told my family.. as I wanted.. I was told to my face that it was just the latest fad and not to jump on the bandwagon. In the end, it is FOR you.. the surgery is done for YOU, the decision is therefore yours for YOU. Do they need to know all the details? (I dont know how close you are to them).. I would ask your husband what he thinks is the best way to tell them.. he knows them since forever.. so he may have an idea.. if not, send an email to everyone (if face to face is not an option). Good luck and remember, no matter what they say to you or about you.. this is being done for you. Beckie

Im a pretty blunt person and basically if I were you I would just tell them straight out .. even if its in an email ... who cares really?! And if they dont approve of it ... WHO CARES! lol sorry ... I just feel that if its my life then its MY decision and none of them (so to say) have walked in my shoes and if they cannot deal with it then that is their problem. You can only please so many people and you should do what you feel is right. I personally wouldn't stress over my husbands family not approving of it, as long as your husband is by your side things should be fine. I dont mean to sound like a B or anything but a lot of people do not understand what it is like to be overweight and it ticks me off that people can *not approve* of something like this that can change your life so much for the better. Maybe you could send them a link to this site so they can all read up on what the surgery is all about and they can see for themselves the good it has done for people. Just my two cents. Goodluck!!

i think i've heard.. and like.. a response from Dr Phil once.. that can pertain to this situation also.. let your husband break the news to HIS family.. while you are not there. Allow him to stand up for you.. and take the brunt of all their comments. It's his family.. he's married to YOU.. it's his place to stand up to them for YOU. best wishes and WELCOME TO THE BOARD.. and CONGRATULATIONS how awesome... hope you come and visit all of us everyday!!!!

From one Ohio person to another... Well here is what I did. I basically said.. I am doing this for my health so I can be here for my children as they grow up. I am also doing this for ME, because I don't want to be on every medication imaginable and not be able to enjoy my life. (My Inlaws are on every medicine imaginable...and they still do not follow Dr's orders) Does the song "ITS MY LIFE" by Bon Jovi ring a bell? It became my theme song when going through all of this. It helped keep me focused. That is still my song... I listen to it when I need to pull support from myself. Welcome to the board and good luck with your surgery... Julie

Thanks for your opinions. I guess I just have to bite to the bullet and tell them. I wish I didn't feel so worried about this..... Thanks again everyone!!

hi. little late here. but wanted to add that for some people, they will never agree with your decision. & you know what? that is ok. I have that. & the person makes it known frequently (still) & I (still) say "thats ok that you disagree, I made the best choice for me" (I'm 2.5 yrs out) but sometimes i give them the finger as they walk away. I'm passive agressive like that good luck & congrats on your approval

Hi Jennifer, Can't really add anyting more to the great responses you have already gotten accept that I think I would just ask them which they would prefer, possible early death or a new improved, happier, healthier you that will be there for your husband and children (not sure if you have kids yet or not) for many years to come? Glad your here and beleive me when I say you will find all the support you need from these folks. They are great!

Hi Jen, I really don't think you owe them any explanation it is a personal decision you have made for yourself. You can tell them and educate them because I feel that alot of the negativity comes from lack of knowledge and then let them form the opinion that they wish because you know they will.... so what I am saying is either they are onboard with you on this or they are not. You can't let it get to you... just keep yourself in a positive place and you will do just fine! Good luck to you and your decision!! Barb