I love/hate my family

I love my family, but.... I now know what the deciding factor was for my move 1200 miles away from Tampa, my family. I love them, but they drive me insane! When I arrived, My mother greeted me at the door and said she was so happy to see me, but in the next breath she told me I might want to get a body shaper so my fat rolls wouldn't be so apparent. I know that she thinks that her comments/advice are helpful, but they transport me back to the insecure 250+ pound girl I thought I had left behind. I had to take her aside and explain that her comments are not helpful, and that I am still in the process of getting toned but there will always be some skin hanging. Basically, "Mom, I love you, but if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". How do you manage to keep from letting family push your buttons/ or how have you improved relations with family that hasn't been the most positive/supportive in the past? Gladys

according to my mother I "shut myself off" & "don't listen to what she has to say" & become "very stubborn...always have been" usually I go somewhere else. i.e. on the computer as she & my sister are debating religious cults right now. things I hate discussing with my fam: religion & politics (I am from a family of republicans) my fam is on crack. I've pretty much accepted it. I am the only sane one left wanna meet in lansing & go bowling? wait, youre in FL btw: I dont see recall seeing "fat rolls" on you. you look beautiful. what else can I talk about....cause they are still going at it. I wish my bro would hurry up & get here....he can talk about something else with me. oh one more thing, I think what I have to do is move away from them. merry christmas gladys. hang in there p.p.s. i'm dumping

You have your brother and I have my sister. She and I band together for protection from well intentioned relatives who tell us what they think "for our own good". I headed straight for the sangria and the cookies for comfort..... ugh! Not a good choice. Will meet you for bowling when I return! You hang in there too.

did you survive? my day was.....interesting. various bombshells dropped. I'm not sure how I feel at this time. I'm taking my sleeping pill & calling it a day.

Can you share and send me half a pill? Just one more day and I fly out on Thursday. Sounds like you had a busy day. Glad you survived. Take care.

just wanted to share quickly. my bro who keeps me sane. http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a160/kela0027/DSC_0080_2.jpg such a good guy.

Suburban Gangta Christmas

Forgot the "s" in Gangsta!

I have yet to learn not to let my family push my buttons, especially my mother's mom. She has always been critical of me and her advancing age only makes it worse. When I was younger I was never allowed to fight back or say anything against her because she was elder and I was kid...blah blah blah...now I still can't cause it just leads to arguments with my mom and how she is senile and doesn't have all her faculties...blah blah blah... My current copping mechanism is to avoid talking to her or ignore her...and keep from making eye contact. Anyway I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year.

Lisa, Your situation seems so familiar to me. I admire your patience and self control. I'm praying that I can get through this visit with minimal psychological trauma. Congratulations on the "little alien" Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!