How do you know??

A lady I work with and I were talking today. She started dating someone recently. She asked how do you know if he is the one? How do you know if you are really in love and not just in lust? I told her that even though I am in love I can not describe how you know the difference. Can you? How do you know that he (or she) is the right one? How do you know that what you have will last? I have all these feelings but I can not put them into words. HELP me help her!!

1st off when you know, you don't have to ask. you know because you feel it. you feel you are with the person who you are MEANT to be with. things happen constantly that make you think, "how did i not know this person before, we seem to share so many things even though we have been apart till now." you ache when you're not together. you can't imagine being with anyone else or wanting anyone else. you get great pleasure in making each other happy and want to make sure that EVERYTHING you can do to make each other happy is done. you want to protect each other and would rather suffer than make the other one suffer or know the other one is suffering. you feel complete and total joy and contentment from the thought that you are together with the right person and have no doubts. maybe it's different for everyone but for me that's the difference between "the one" and all the others in the past.

Jay said it well and I would add personally for me: - He is my best friend and I want to share and for him to share everything with me...funny things, sad things, support, advice, vents, create memories, plan for the future - Knowing that NO ONE is perfect but what I can live with or without and know we both have to compromise - Just hearing his voice comforts me - That we can have total open communication and trust each other (and these have been incredibly big since we are long distance) - That we get excited talking about our future and goals together - That it is okay to give each other space when we need it and not get jealous or mad at each other - Feeling the touch of him and how he holds me - Genuine and sincere conversations That is just a few I can think of So, when are you and Dan going to make it official? Annie

I loved the other two men that were in my life.. and it still didn't work. I believe there are no guarentees.. if there were, people would not be getting married knowing that it was going to end in divorce. Lust.. lasts a little while and fades.. love is unconditional (I still care and wish the best for Mike and Eddie, my ex's.).. but a relationship takes work. IMO.. it takes being open.. honest.. compassionate.. understanding.. having humility.. and the BIGGIE.. communication. I'm only able to say this from thinking of my mom and dad who's been married 50 years this year. Currently Dan and I are in training.. we are still learning and building on each of these.. perhaps we will never acquire them.. but perhaps THAT'S the journey.. the learning to build on each of 'em.

I am not sure either!! Glad to see you posting!! Hows life and love??

I'd like to add to the others...that you compliment each other.. his weakness' tend to be your strengths and visa versa... You feel as if you have known each other for ever.. For me and spark we had less time together than most before we got married... but we knew we were brought together for a reason.. We are coming up on our 2 year anniversary and it still feels perfect despite all the issues we have to deal with here ... I also say this about lust vs love... Love is mental lust is physical... just my opinion... Debby

You don't ever really know. People change all the time. Part of life is taking the chance and enjoying the ride while it lasts. It's cheesy I know but I truly agree with the statement "It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all". Me personally can honestly say I was only truly in love once in my life and it was many, many, years ago. That love is gone now, we both changed, but I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Rhonda from Cincy

If she or he is ok with getting fondled in public as the group of ppl they are with sit behind them. Or public sofa kissing at a club. Just kidding.... Does it make sense to say on a simplistic dynamic, you know when you both are together it is quite ok to not say anything and both of you are still having fun. Be it a stare, a smile or even silent gaser I basically mean when you are totally yourself and comfortable with each other on all fronts. Im good hope all is well with you!!! D

Hasn't there been volumes upon thousands of volumes written on this topic and yet in the end, one's definition of love is intensely personal and made up of a million variables exclusive to each person's heart. There is no easy set of criteria that separates love from lust. Two people can experience a similar relationship and one might be in love and the other in lust. I do believe that true love has to be built on a common and shared foundation of understanding between 2 people. Love given but not returned is a pretty sure sign that the relationship is doomed. Probably the first sign of affection/love is that sick feeling you have when you are away from each other and can't wait to get together again. It is about accepting someone for who they are and them for who you are and caring about giving each other a better life through support and care. It is important to "live the love" on a daily basis and to work on the relationship together. No doubt, love defined by what love isn't, is probably a lot easier exercise for most folks to understand as true love is a pretty rare find these days. My 2 Cents, Ron

i think you know its the one when you can feel that piece of you thats been missing is right there maybe a lil outt reach but you finally found it and when you miss them so much it physically hurts to be aparts like your arms are so empty and the only thing that can fill them is that one person. and day night they are on your mind you think things like "i bet he/she would love this" or"they would have so much fun here" that kinda thing thats just what i think! mandy