Why???

Why does almost every man I date end up acting like a jerk? I have been seeing a guy for two months, talking a little longer than that, while it was an intimate relationship I was careful not to invest my heart too quickly because there were too many warning signs. So while I was surprised and a little disappointed when he broke up with me over the phone I was not crushed. The problem started when I could not finish the "break up" conversation because I had to talk to a man about my resume. So I asked him if we could talk about it later, he said yeah he would call me that night or I could call him. So no phone call, he doesn't answer whan I call, and I send a message next saying he could call me anytime. His respons is that he didn't call the night before because he needed some time to himself before we spoke [ummm...he was the one dumping me] but he would call. So I sent an email saying what I was going to tell him on the phone...just that I understand and wasn't too surprised as we are sort of looking for different things in our lives right now...I want marriage and kids...he doesn't think he will be ready for that for several years...I also told him that if he didn't want to talk he should have been honest and said so...saying you will call and then not following through is just rude... So now in the back of my mind I am wondering...if he was willing to lie about something so trivial as calling what else was he lying about... and why is it I can see the warning signs that say maybe it is time to end things but ignore them anyways?

IMO... I give him kudos for at least telling you he didn't want to date or have a relationship any more.. and then to say that.. and HAVE to continue the conversation later would be difficult too. Appears he called and "broke-up.." not sure what else there was left to discuss.. it was probably just difficult for him and he didn't want to "deal with it further.." and maybe he did need the time to think.. I told two ladies that I would call them last week.. I've yet to call I keep putting it off KNOWING that the longer I wait the more difficult it is.. yet I do.. *shaking head* I'm not being seedy.. or lying.. or anything.. I'm just scared to face/talk to 'em. They are two ladies that I'm considering to be sponsors for me for AA.. I know that I'm helping them by calling yet.. I feel like I'm burdening them. Your friend may wonder if you "really" had to go because you had to talk to a man about a resume.. .. I would give him the benefit of the doubt.. again, I give him kudos for at least telling you.. there are many who don't even do that!! Good to see ya Lisa.. hope all else is going well with YOU

btw.. I called both ladies.. one I left a message with apologizing for being too scared to call her before now... and that I would call her this evening. And the other lady I talked to for about 20/25 minutes.. I'm probably meeting her for a AA meeting this evening when I get off work. Life is GOOD sometimes we just have to swallow our pride.. or humble ourselves to make the first step.

Maybe you are right and he really needed time and maybe I made things worse by telling him I was okay with the fact that he wanted to break up...which was the truth...it is stupid but thinking he can't or doesn't want to talk to me hurts me worse than breaking up with him. Everything else has been going okay...I have been doing a lot of reading. I am waiting to hear back from the temp agency I signed up with...hopefully I will be working soon. I am also waiting to hear from the Dean of the Law School about my latest appeal and I am looking into lawyers. I have been taking care of Granny and my mom, who is currently on temp disability because she has been sick but she is getting better. And now I am back on match trying to find Mr. Right. As for your calling the two ladies or feeling that you are burdening them...well if they have volunteered to be your sponsor then I would hazard a guess and say they don't feel it is a burden. All the same talk to them tell them what you are feeling you may find that hearing from them that you aren't being a burden will help. I hope you have a good day.

sounds like you have a lot of mental things on your plate.. glad you are handling it all so well.. even tho I know that we all struggle some.. *to be expected*.. but overall you appear to be well. Hope that granny and mom are doing well too.. I had to apologize to my mom yesterday for being such a bad daughter and ignoring her recently. It sucks *big time* when I know I hurt her and make her cry.. just cuz I've not called her in quite awhile I'm trying to learn that it's not about me now.. she will be high on my priority list now. they did not actually volunteer.. like come to me and say I will sponsor you. Part of working the steps of AA is to help new comers work their steps. Helping others work their program to stay sober.. helps ourselves. Pay it Forward so to speak So I approached them.. and asked one lady if she would consider it or get to know me.. to maybe sponsor me.. and the other lady a girl recommended the same week. I met her and liked her too. So while at first I didn't know who to choose.. I now have two to choose from I guess the right one for me, will make it's way known somehow.