Ok, I am out of hiding--very very long

First off, to the gorgeous new married people, your photos were beautiful. I wish you nothing but a lifetime of happiness and if you want babies, as many healthy ones as you wish to push out. Beckie-congratulations on the pregnancy. Am glad you got past the danger issue and can officially say Mallory is going to be a big sister. Ct. Man and Teacher---congratulations. She better treat you right, cuz I'll try to whoop some butt if she doesn't. However, you better treat her like the princess I'm sure she is in your eyes. I would never doubt how wonderful a couple the two of you are together. You have a very good head on your shoulders and she sounds like she does, too. Blessings. Ok, now me. Trip to Caribbean was good. Long...a week in a small cabin with an elderly mother that can't walk very far is very draining. When I took her and her bf to Las Vegas in January, I swore I'd never go with both again. Since she got this trip for my horrible birthday next month, I was looking forward to it. Let's just say, I've been back since yesterday and I'm still tired, did something to a rotator cuff handling her in a wheel chair, 2 large roller suitcases, 2 small roller cases, 2 carry ons, and 2 purses. NEVER NEVER NEVER fly out of Miami airport. It SUX. Cruise...nice. Flight down, ok. Getting on ship, ok. By the time we got to room, safety drill. Unless I had bought Mom a can that unfolded to a chair, she was fainting right in front of a crew person in the heat. I got a migraine, went to bed at 7p, woke up at 9:00 next morning puking up guts. Put a dramamine patch on after that and was good for the trip. Second night after Nassau (which we did not get off ship to see, ******) the ship had to turn and sail back to meet Coast Guard because a guest had a life threatening infection. Made us 4 hours late to St. Thomas which caused our shore excursion to be cut by 2 hours. The person was placed into a helicopter and taken to Miami. She survived. I told Mom around 11:30 that night I could feel the ship turn. She told me I was nuts and went to sleep. Ok, so who was nuts then, Mom??? St. Thomas...beautiful. Driving...crazy. Hot and humid as Satan's living room. St. Maarten...beautiful. French side nekkid beaches. The short fat girl did not go nekkie. Bought the typical souvenirs, took a picture of a donkey named "Oprah" that had lipstick on her lips and her hooves were painted. Bought a knock off Dolce and Gabana purse with a Gucci wallet for $50, total. Mom was too hot, went back to ship after 2 hours. Ate and ate...good dinners in a very elegant surrounding with some of our tour members. Pissed off the travel agent because I spent extra to get aisle seats and she chewed out my mom on the phone. I sent the word out that she better not come close cuz I weighed about twice what she did and I could pick her azz up and throw her overboard after I gave her a very small piece of my pissed off mind. Moral of the story...good trip to take alone or with a romantic partner. Not so great with a family member or a friend that needs extra assistance and you feel obligated to stay with the entire time. I left my mom, once, at the gift shops. I was going to room to get something and she'd be there in 15 minutes. 45 minutes later, I made a cell call at sea ($35) to find her azz...she was sitting in a stair well somewhere at the other end of the ship, lost. After that, I never left her side. I have realized that I am aging and my mother is now elderly. That's a sobering thought. Glad I'm home. If you read this, thanks. I wanted to check in but not write a novel, so sorry for the length. I missed all of the chit chat and weddings... PS: I'm fat again. I saw the pics we took and I want to slice my wrists and lie down in the jacuzzi tub and die. But then, the cops and medics would see my fat and I'd be a dead embarassed fat woman with no man. Besides, who'd take care of my mom. I am going to have to sell her house this next year and move her closer to me or in my house. She just will not be able to do this "living" thing alone for more than 4 years at the longest, so it's better (I guess) to have people fix up the house, sell off stuff, move some things (which she was going to do anyway) to my house, and then just make the move. Can you tell I'm about at my wit's end? And this is on Xanax today...

" Unless I had bought Mom a can that unfolded to a chair, she was fainting right in front of a crew person in the heat. " That would be CANE.

Oh, and the airline LOST my big suitcase and I didn't get it bac****il 7:45 last night.

Parents getting older can be frightening. During Vietnam, my dad was the pilot of the most expensive plane in the world. His spy plane was full of electronics and could spy on the just about anything the Vietnamese and Russians had. 30 years later, he is cannot operate a cell phone, neither can mom. Recently, he got sick (he is OK now) and was in the hospital. My mom left the hospital for lunch with some friends and my sister (who is a pediatrician and needed permission to get private information from dad's doctor) was forced to call my sister's best friend in Arizona. From her best friend, she got her friend's parent's cell phone. Called the parents to speak to my mom. My parents refuse to carry their cell phones and do not know how to answer voice mail (or even see calls came in). The leave them in their cars. After it was over, I was begging my dad to use his cell phone. Our conversation went something like this: Me: Dad, I live 1000 miles away. It is terrifying to know I cannot reach you in an emergency. Patti and I need to be able to track you down b/c we are never home. Dad: I know how to use the cell phone. Me: If you leave it in the car, it doesn't do anyone any good. Dad: I need to charge it. Me: Use the charger in the house. Dad: It didn't come with one. I only got a car charger. Me: There are no phones in the United States made without a charger. Dad: It is your mother that doesn't know how to use a cell phone. Me: Dad, you are worse then mom. At least she knows she cannot use it.

Seems like I have had a very similar discussion with my mom and her bf. Especially when I bought the dang things for them. I'm just hateful and cranky. I didn't get any cruise ship lovin'.

you poooorrrrrr thing i read it all... and want you to know you should not kill yourself.. otherwise.. you will not go to heaven for being the good loyal.. loving daughter you are.. i know and understand how trying our parents can be to us.. but the skeerie part is.. I'm becummin my own mother.. and you will too someday I'm glad you shared all that with us.. and don't ever hide againas a dear friend once said about a bunch of misfits in his bar... "we all deserve each other... " and surely we all do here.. LOVE YOU

You made me cry. love you too!

OMG I have missed you....could you tell? SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad to have you back...I really was worried you were not feeling better because of your incident before the cruise....how is that going btw? I know you will never regret every single second you spend with your mama and the cruise will be a great memory....we can never take back the time we never had with them......am sure she was touched too..... DO NOT be down on pics at all.....and DO NOT harm you....I will be pissed....I do need to get back on track soon and we can hold each other accountable if you want.... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad you posted...total highlight to me...WELCOME HOME HONEY love, mrs nate