The Rules

One of those emails that goes around... It made me smile Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport.... And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation, MUSIC or the Post Season playoffs. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

the first one needs a lot of rethinking. It's not rocket science to figure out that women get up in the middle of the night, sleepy and in the dark and have to SIT to pee. Think about it. I can't understand why some men just don't get it. I know it's supposed to be funny and for the most part it is, and i don't mean any offense to you, Marc. not at all. But men have to understand that women aren't just giving us crap about the toilet for the sake of giving us crap. I think men's lives are just a bit easier when they understand this. It's just simple consideration. And i know you're a considerate guy. btw, i know it's just a joke, but this toilet seat thing is something that makes us men look like morons the way we are always making it out to be some weird quirk about women. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't commented on so dang frequently.

Honey the man that follows these rules IS A MORON! And let it be said that a guy with this agenda has got to have a frontal lobotomy if he doesn't understand why his SO has had a headache for 17 months!!! Sheesh!

The Rules for what ? Being an A-Hole is all I could think of.

HEY! a lot of those ARE true. and some of those apply to men as well as women. ya know not to mess with my sunday (and monday and sometimes thursday and saturday) football!

16 color default setting for windows? that shows how old that is.

You two truly deserve each other... It's a joke... .... but the real ******** took this opportunity to show how twisted their brains are... very sad... Adios... really, all I wanted to do was share a joke I thought was kinda cute... and now it's suddenly an expose' on manhood and womanhood ... Enjoy yourselves... taking pot shots is obviously how you get your yuks... For me, I will delete this link and go merrily on my way... Flame away little brains.. flame away... I will ignore it completely

Whats up Marc.. Its been a while. I thought your jokes were funny.. People need to lighten up !!! Later Home Boy

I apologize for calling you a considerate guy, forgive me please, i obviously am deserving of your anger and insults. holy crap Marc! could you try a little harder to be insulted? Btw, Dave Foley is REALLY hurt that you even went out of your way to insult one of his TV shows.

potshots? come on now. i see people being called ******** and little brains yet i'm the only one who's apologized, and i'm not even sure for what.