depressed.

rant on i want to go home! my back is acting up and i'm hibernating in my hotel (it's raining out) and missing the heck out of my mojito Melito bonita muchacha. i don't want to be here anymore. i want to be home. /rant off

*engage.* book an earlier flight home. *disengage.*

i can't it would defeat the purpose of both trips here. they won't be finished till friday and i have the earliest flight on saturday i could get. "engage #1" geek.

*unshield* ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....it all makes sense now. *reshield*

now I said the word shield too much & it looks funny to me. (I love it when that happens. seriously I do.)

Take a nap dude......Better yet...take a nap with Tori..... I want to be a Mojito bonita muchacha....Wtf...Why'd you steal Mike's name for me.

Mike calls you Mojito Melito? too much Tori dude...ette.

What the hell are you doing to your mouth anyway? Makin the pearlies super pearly?? Mike knocked his tooth out at work with a piece of steel to the face.....the thursday before we got married. To say the least he still has no tooth and has an appointment for next week to fix the **** *shakin my head*

sorry jayster....now what are you doing there again? HANG IN THERE...it will go by fast.....hugs!!!

well when in cleveland i lost a bridge with two teeth on it so in March i came here to have oral surgery to have a dental implant installed. it took a few months to fuse to my jaw bone and now after more surgery to expose the implant they are custom making and installing two porcelain over gold crowns onto the implant. should be stronger and more permanent than real teeth but it took quite a bit of work. I had three appointments on Monday, two tomorrow and one on friday then i can come home on saturday confidentally smiliing for the first time in my life (i was born missing six teeth and while i had teeth moved around to fill the gaps i still needed two fake teeth that were prevfiously on a bridge that held for 20 years (about 10 more than expected) and now FINALLY i will have a permanent solution. I'm excited but questioning the whole thing as the timing is so bad, i acn't enjoy myself knowing i want to be home for mel and our gram. And even if not to support them, just because i'm miserable without Mel. She's my best friend and the person i can share everything with without fear or worrying about being misunderstood. She's my best friend, my lover, my confident, my partner, my lover, my mentor and on a good day... my barista! I miss her soo freaking much it takes the joy out of anything i cna do here on my own. i can't stop thinking about her. i 'm crazy about her. totally obsessed. I miss Dakota too. He just got a car, i ordered him a new power supply for his computer which should have arrived today and i want to know how it's working out, i want to know how his job is going and his new hot girlfriend (who's a sweetheart herself) and to just be able to joke around with him like always. He's my friend and my soon to be step son. I miss him. And when i get home he'll be with his dad so i won't see him for another week and a half. The only good thing is there is no room for pre-wedding doubts, i KNOW i couldn't live my life without her, we're going to share our lives and it's right for both of us. We belong together. Two hearts, one soul. I'm having a super anxiety attack right now because i know she's down and needs me and i'm not there. the first thing i want to do on Sunday is hug her, give her a massage, take her to her favorite breakfast place and then go visit our gram and give her my love and let her know how much she means to me. Her grandmother has been the one to make me feel that the family is proud to have me joining it. She has made me feel like her family. I need to tell her i love her and how much she means to me now that she's going through such a difficult time. it's too important for me to be wasiting time here in San Jose doing cosmetic dentistry but it was too late to avoid it wihtout wasting thousands of dollars and perhaps never again having the chance to fix a major flaw in my self image for decades. I wANT melito. i took two miligrams of xanax to calm down but i think it made my anxiety attaack worse. i would give anything to spend my dreams tonight with Mel. dang i love that woman. i never knew love could be so strong an emotion.