I WENT TO ALANON

last night.. it was a good session.. the lead person wanted to discuss BLAME.. I have not been in relationships where they blamed ME really.. (I know many alcoholics who want to blame everyone but themselves, but those in my life have always kept the addiction pretty well hidden or just not discussed as a problem). Sometimes I've tended to blame myself.. or place blame on them but also said.. I (of all people) should be a little bit more considerate.. since I too am an addict who's battling FOOD, TOBACCO and ALCOHOL. It's easy to get in a situation where a person is not living up to MY standards and for me to start faulting them or "blaming" them. So as my defense wall comes down a little I wonder if it's just 'cuz things are going very well right now.. and if things happen.. the wall will go up instantly again. Is that nature also tho.... a way of protecting ourselves from hurt. I think ALANON is helping.. it's great to fellowship and see others living their life and to see how they detach from situations. And with that.. I'll pass

i went to an alanon meeting with a friend once because she didn't to go alone. now if that isn't the definition of codep i don't know what is! i'm glad it's working for you. the fellowship is the best part. come to think of it that's how i got addicted to coffee hahah.

.. yeah.. I'm still trying to figure out where *I* belong tho.. ALANON.. or AA I only had 1 small cup last nite.. but I do keep eyeing the cookies there

I'm not sure about you, only you can, but many people belong in both. I used to try to catch an NA meeting if possible, AA if not and Al-Anon if there was nothing else going. I really did discover i'm not an addict people always questioned why i was there, i drove my sponsor insane too. I just didn't want to stop doing a certain something so i went. Came to find out that i don't need it, am happier without it and going to NA just surrounded me with junkies and made it more available! However i did spend three years going through the 12 steps (my sponsor was VERY thorough) and i made a lot of good friendships, learned a lot about myself and it led to many other self-help techniques which i still use. There's so many good things about the program that anyone can use. Also many things i have a problem with (such as the big book stating they firmly believe we will come to accept Jesus as our higher power, it being based on the Oxford groups etc.) but they say take what you need and leave the rest. I really did drive my sponsor nuts though. I'd ask him questions that had him banging his head against the wall and making frantic calls to HIS sponsor looking for answers lol. I anal-ized everything to death and questioned everything. I wasn't fighting it, i just wanted to KNOW. That's why his mantras became "fake it to you make it" and "if you can't believe, believe that i believe". And i wanted what he had (serenity) so i did what he said.

Yep me to Jay. I never really drank coffee much in my life til treatment and AA. Now because of my addictive personality, Rhonda needs to cut my decaf with half and half. I been doing better this time around tho. Only 1-2 pots a day as opposed to 5.

oh man for me it was the trips to Denny's AFTER meetings. We'd sit there for hours and hours talking and drinking coffee till 3am. be careful with that half and half or you'll be going to O.A. meetings too! heh. Drink latte's. you can make them with 2% milk and it's still creamy from the frothing. of course H&H has less carbs and more protein than 2% but it also has way more fat and calories. I am powerless over my addiction to coffee and my life has become manageable. huh???? i'm glad i'm not part of the fellowship anymore cause the 12th Tradition is shot to all hell on this board oh yeah and also cause i found out i'm not an addict!

Your defensive wall is coming down some? Doea that mean I should search for the duct tape and feather duster? LOL

yes.. cuz the house needs dusted and you can fix I dunno.. but we'll find something for you to duct tape