I need some opinions [warning this is a long one]

So Beckie told me that people had migrated over here so I am posting this here before I run off and get lunch...it is also on the singles board I need some opinions! This is long and actually only the basics but here is the situation... Okay I met this guy at school and he was very friendly to me and supportive my first semester and things were fine...up until he started expressing his interest in me and kissed me once...there were two problems with this (1) he had a girlfriend/fiancé [out of state] (2) while I was initially flattered I didn't share his interest. It was a strange situation at the Barristers Ball he was with his girlfriend put whispering in my ear about how he would be with me if things were different...even weirder his girlfriend was excited to meet me because I could be a friend for her when she moved to IL. Okay so that was a problem but at least the fact that he had her kept him from really pursuing me...only she dumped him over Christmas break...and I was the first person he called. I initially tried be supportive and friendly but he is such a negative and draining person that it was too much. So I tried to put distance between us and sort of avoid him but that didn't work. After he decided he was over her he decided to pursue me...he constantly found reasons to be around me between classes [I save money by staying in the building between classes] it was so bad that one of my friends started making sure I was never alone so he couldn't corner me. I didn't want to be a ***** because he had been supportive of me when I was still really upset. So here is where I went wrong, I agreed to meet him for coffee after classes one day with the intention of making clear that I wasn't interested...which I thought I managed to do but I was wrong. He still pursued me but I fond that if I agreed to coffee every so often he left me alone at school. Every time we had all we did was argue and go over how I didn't think we were right for each other and how it wasn't going to happen. I tried to avoid actual physical contact with him but he tried to hug or kiss me every now and then. After our last final there was an L1 party I went to and he was there...I tried to avoid him but wasn't so successful...during the party he slapped me on the rear end three times which I was not happy about but said nothing because I didn't want to make a scene. That was the last time I saw him or really talked to him...he has called and left me messages and text me but I have not responded. I am thinking ignoring him won't make him go away...my mom thinks I should send an email saying I don't want anything to do with him but my dad doesn't think that will work. Most of my family and friends describe him as a stalker...and he has lots of issues...he chose to get out of the Air Force rather than get a psyche discharge... So now I don't know what to do!

my opinion based on experience (i'm 29 still ) run and don't look back send him email and be VERY BLUNT once a cheater always a cheater ( i know..i'm jaded) he may feel as if it were love at first sight but if he wasn't honest with his ex-girlfriend , chances are he won't be with the next one

That is how I feel to and only a small part of why I would never date him...he is a VERY negative person. I want children, he knows this and feels free to give me his opinion on the subject and how I would be throwing my life away. He offers his opinion on other things...he over heard me talking to a friend about going on a date with a new guy and felt the need to advise me not to do something stupid...well the only thing I did that was stupid was ask what he meant by that...his response "Don't go get knocked up." Part of the problem I have had is I am afraid of the confrontation...I am afraid of how he will handle it. I didn't want to be the latest news in the Law School rumour mill and yes even afraid of possible physical violence.

I wouldn't call or make any "date" just to have the talk.. I would wait until it ever came up by him..(i think.. and then do it in a public place hopefully.. like over coffee... have you been or is it often that you would be in a private situation with him??

Depends on how private a private situation is. When last semester first started I tried to avoid being in alone with him but he would seek me out in the halls at school...all of our classes are in one building and often we had several hours between classes so I would find someplace to sit and study or get on my computer [laptops are a wonderful thing]. It got to the point where I couldn't sit alone because if I did he would come sit by me. One of my friends took to sitting with me as often as possible. He suggested having coffee or dinner at his place several times and I always refused...that was the last place I wanted to be trapped.

does he have any friends.. it almost sounds as if he's just needie.. someone who latches on.. and drains ya. actually I think that is what Pakistan guy's problem is.. he doesn't have family here and not many friends.. I showed him friendship.. two days.. 5 years ago.. and it must of made an impression.. he even said just friends.. after I said.. "I don't want to date you... " I said.. "I don't think soo.. ".. I thought if he's calling now every 5 minutes.. when I don't call him back.. what the hell would he do if I went out with him just as friends so NO.. I didn't want to go there.. so next time he offers AGAIN.. just say.. YOU know *SAM*.. I don't want to meet up for coffee or dinner.. because I'm just NOT interested in seeing you. Please don't take it personal.. but we've had these talks before and we BOTH know that I'm wanting something totally different.. I hope your not mad.. but it's just how I feel. hopefully it won't cuz him to get angry or defensive.. if it does.. call security, police or campus.. whatever the guidelines are.. at least that's my suggestion only YOU know best as you've been dealing with it literally.

so I'm confused or getting mixed signals... maybe he is too.. do you not want anything to do with him because you don't like him.. or do you maybe want something to do with him, but he has a girlfriend and if you didn't want anything to do with him.. I would not have seen him for coffee (now and then) in hopes he would go away.. and if you maybe like him but he has a girlfriend.. my momma once told me.. as long as he ain't married... who knows, he might be dating/engaged to the wrong one and Mrs(s) Right is you.. altho I wouldn't be strung along either.. dating is one thing and being played by a two-timing playboy another..

.."Okay so that was a problem but at least the fact that he had her kept him from really pursuing me...only she dumped him over Christmas break...and I was the first person he called. I initially tried be supportive and friendly but he is such a negative and draining person that it was too much. So I tried to put distance between us and sort of avoid him but that didn't work. After he decided he was over her he decided to pursue me...he constantly found reasons to be around me between classes [I save money by staying in the building between classes] it was so bad that one of my friends started making sure I was never alone so he couldn't corner me. I didn't want to be a ***** because he had been supportive of me when I was still really upset. " Okay.. I think I totally MISSED this paragraph... so disregard my earlier advice and follow others suggestions.. Sorry you have to deal with this.. if you are like me I hate confrontation.. I dated a man from Pakistan once.. and he kept calling.. finally stopped for a while and called again.. finally I said.. "I DON'T WANT TO DATE YOU..".. and he stopped calling.. but started back up just a month ago again

I hate confrontation when I know it is going to be very public and news for everyone in our class. A big part of the problem is that during our first year the class is divided by sections...everyone is section one had their 4 primary subjects together and everyone in section 2 had class together. So you were with the same 60 people 5 days a week...and he and I were in the same section. Part of my problem right now is that I do feel like I caused some of this by not being more decisive...I was not trying to lead him on...as a matter of fact the times we had coffee I was usually as *****y as possible and went over exactly why we would never date [I want marriage and kids...I have family values...and he doesn't] So what did you tell the guy from Pakistan when he started calling again?

Dan answered the first time and handed it to me cuz he couldnt' understand him.. .. I told Dan who it was.. and acted like I barely remembered him.. and said I'm seeing someone, please don't call me. He has called back and I haven't answered.. luckily I don't think this guy knows how to do a number search.. to find my address and he's never been to my house. We only went out once over a weekend fri/sat.. actually a very nice guy.. but I was just uncomfortable with him being from Pakistan and all.. this was before my WLS even.. at my heaviest. I'm thinking he may not recognize me now for yourself.. you probably have sent mixed messages.. I would clearly make your intentions known NOW.. just let him know you may have given him the wrong impression and you're sorry, but you are clearly not interested in him in anything other than being a friend.. and if that isn't possible then you and he will not beable to be friends then. Good luck.. I know when I have to do stuff like that I get anxiety bad.. even when speaking to Dan this past week.. we like to avoid awkward or hurting conversations.. but sometimes we just have to do it!! Keep is posted