I had the best

My dad and I fought alot. We fought about my weight more than anything. My dad decided to give up and said when I was ready to lose weight he would help me in any way. Naturally I took this as his way of giving up on me. I told him in spring 03 that I was going to have surgery. He was so happy. He told me he would help me any way he could. I lived in No. Ca. and was going to have my surgery at USC University hospital in L.A.. That way I'd be near dad and I could recoup at his house. I flew down and back a few times, for Dr appt etc. We were getting along great. Me, my brother John and his family spent the 4th with my dad. My dad had me and my brother sit down and talk about the surgery. John looked me in the eye and asked 1 question "is it safe" I almost laughed in his face. I assured him I was in good hands. What happened next is partially second hand. I had surgery Thur Sept 16, 2003. I don't remember a single thing about that day. My friend told me I called her crying saying I didn't want to have it. My dad told me I cried all the way there. I just don't remember. What came next is unreal. I was fine at first, then I went downhill fast. I had blood clots in my lungs, respitory failure, kidney failure and a host of other problems. My dad became my biggest supporter. He became totally devoted to me and my fight to get well. I had a trach so alot of the time I couldn't talk. My dad would sit next to me holding my hand and just telling me about his day or a story from his childhood. John would call me when I couldn't talk, so he'd say tap once for yes two for no. Then they gave me a button for my trach so John would call so I had to talk. Dad brought me flowers every weekend, he was there for every test, everything. We became closer than I could ever imagine. He visited every night. He knew as much at my case as the dr did. He spent so many hours at the hospital. Then in Feb 04 when they sent me home I couldn't walk or talk so I went to a nursing home near him. I had to go to ER several times and he was there thru it all. Then they sent me back to SC, where I would stay until April 05. Everyone knew him at the hospital, everyone would comment on us. And everyone would be surprised we weren't always so close. While I was in the hospital my brother John was diangsised with Melunmna. He didn't tell dad because he knew dad had his plate full with me. That damn arab pride. In late March 05 they found a brain tumor in my dad. He had surgery early April 05. He never woke up again. That damn pride kept him from telling me he was going to have surgery. I went to the hospital where he was to say goodbye. I sat next to him and held his hand the way he had mine. I laughed thru my tears and told him he did have huge hands. He used to hold mine and tell me it was good I didn't have his hands. I couldn't say goodbye, we just mended our relationship. I used to beghim to take me home. I'd tell him if he could just get me home I could drag myself to the pool and once I got in there I would be able to walk again. He said he couldn't it would be suicide. I wass still in the hospital for gods sake. On top of all that they decided to send me to another hospital for rehab. John hadf promised dad he would take care of me if anything happened to him John had to fly out from his home in TN. He would get up go to dad's hospital, then to mine and back to dad's. He became everything dad had been. He too, came everyday. He was doin g everything he could. At dad's funeral John learned how to get me in and out of the car, and watched over me and held my hand thru the whole thing. Then on May 11, 2005, after 19 months in the hospital I was on my way home. On the way out John told everyone he saw I was coming home after 19 months He was so proud. Three months later I moved to TN to be near John who was about to start chemo He did the chemo, then radiation. Nothing helped. Xmas was suddenly very important to him. I asked him if it was because he was dying. he said no I am not dying. He told me that a thousand times. In March 06 John lost his battle with cancer. I lost him only 11 months after dad. Dad just wanted to see me come home, that never happened. But John did. he told me he was proud of me. I told him no I was proud of him. Thru sorry cir****tances we came to really understand how imprtant each day is. So I have lost mom, dad, and John. All to cancer. A friend mentioned that I would never have anyone so devoted to me like that. And she right, we all became to love each other unconditionally. I baked dad an apple pie for his last birthday. He was so proud of that. He learned to accept my little victories which he didn't before. The first time I walked from nurses station to nurses station he had walked with me and cheered me on like I ran a marathon. The song "the greatest man I never knew" fit us to a tee. So much so John almost had it played at dads funeral I miss those two like crazy. I wi**** hadn't of taken me getting sick for them to come to understand how we were to each other. Hell, I should have understood. My Soc worker at USC began using my dad as an example for some of her other patients families. SZhe'd say I have a father who is here everyday to see his daughter, and he's done it for many months. So if you are going to have this surgery please make sure you have a good support system. It is probably the single most imprtant thing to have. Even if you have no complications those who are imprtant in your life can save your sanity. Therir love and support will mean so much to you. So dad, John, I love you guys and I know you have to be together. I miss you like crazy. sis