Married 10 years & Now Gambling

I have been married for 10 years and yes we have had the typical marital problems but this one is one that I am not sure we will be able to survive. I love my husband and I am sure that he loves me. We have a beautiful daughter. About 3 years ago my spouse began to play poker with the guys. I didn't have a problem with this because it wasn't all of the time and it was only 20.00 everytime they played. Well, it had grown to the point that he began to play online, more often with his friends and the price went way up. We went through the arguing and he layed off playing. He cut way back and stopped playing online all together. That was about a year and half ago. Now, we are right back there. I am not one for spending a lot of money. I always put the family first and very rearly ask for something of high value for myself. So, I asked for the surgery. He knew that this was something that I wanted to do for years now and on July 25th I have my surgery. He on the other hand has began playing online again and spending 100's a day on poker. I was so upset that I told him that I didn't want to see him and or talk to him. (He is in the service and has duty today. Has to stay on the ship) I told him that he had to choose the gambling or us and hung up the phone. I waited a few hours and called him back because I felt bad about hanging up and I asked what he decided. What was his choice and he said that he wasn't coming home tomorrow. I love my husband and I don't want to lose him. But I don't know what to do. I can't have this surgery and be emotionally a mess. Also, he knew how much the surgery was and the money he gambled with was the money that I was going to use for my surgery. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't have the money to pay for my suregery now. I will get twice paid before my surgery date so I am hoping that I will be able to use that. I just hope that I don't have to go to my retirement/savings to pay for this. That isn't want that money is for. This month is filled with so many things that I need to do for my surgery and he was suppose to be my support. He was going to be my aftercare nurse. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? HAS ANYONE ELSE HAD THIS KIND OF THING HAPPEN BEFORE SURGERY? I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM. HE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN AWESOME HUSBAND AND FATHER. BUT THE GAMBLING HAS TAKEN OVER. He told me that one of the guys that he plays with left him and moved to California. I don't want that for us. Help!

Mistake. One of the guys wife that he plays with left him and moved to Ca. His friend said that he never had time for her and was spending to much time playing poker. Gambling.

Sounds like he's made his decision. What's most important for you is to get your health, and get independant. If he comes around, that's terrific, but you can't stake your emotional and physical health on someone else's ability to beat addiction. If WLS is the key to your health, use whatever money you need to to get it done. Not so great to save in retirement accounts only to have that money eaten up by medical costs later on (or worse, not need it at all).