Failing Lapband

Hello, I think I am failing with the Lapband. I am so embarassed that I told so many people I was having the surgery. I am almost 7 months out and have only lost 52 pounds. Lately I have been eating TONS OF JUNK. It is disgusting. I have to stop eating fast food, chips, cookies..etc. I am filled to 3.1cc and my band only holds 4cc. I have really no restriction. I don't want to have to go in for the RNY because I don't like the idea of the surgery. I wanted Lapband because it is so much safer. I am 25 years old and when the time comes, I want to be able to carry a baby safely. I just am so confused and need some help. Nicole

Nicole, I am not an expert, but it sounds like you are doing really well. My mom is having the lap band, and the surgeon told her the average weight loss is 1 pound a week, and you are doing better than that! Also, I heard that with slower losses, the condition of your skin is better. I definitely would not consider you a failure. Have you tried picking up a 50 pound bag of dog food? That is a lot of weight to be carrying around! Good luck to you! Carrie

You know what you have to do...the junk will kill you. I was banded in 1995. I learned quickly how to eat "around" the band, which is what you are doing. I am a carb addict, and those sweet and crunchies go down "oh, so easy, and taste, oh, so good!" I was not able to be successful because I wasn't able to give up the crap. I had an rny two years ago, and haven't been able to make that work for me long term either. They were not able to remove my non adjustable band, so now I have two pouches. I live in wls hell. Sweets make me dump sometimes, but I just go ahead and eat them. I have been struggling for 45 years. You DON'T want this to be YOUR story. My pouch doc told me to eat "challenging" foods to block the opening into the stomach first...carrots, broccoli, califlower, etc. Don't chew too well, and it will block the hole so you will feel full. This works, but so does choosing heavy protein FIRST. No easy fixes here...sorry. Cheryl Bigelow

Nicole, Get hold of yourself girl!! 52 pounds in 7 months...that's awesome!! Could you have done that with out the band? If you are not excersizing regularly, start now!! Fight the good fight, you CAN do it!! Join a women's gym like Liberty Fitness, Women's Work Out Express or something like that and hire a personal trainer. Muscle burns FAT! They will push you the extra mile when you won't/can't do it yourself. You could join Weigh****chers and learn to eat better because now you have the tool to keep you on task! They also have weekly check ins to keep you on the path tword your goal. I have total faith that YOU CAN DO IT! You are young and beautiful and your whole life is ahead of you. Live one day at a time and don't let one failure decide your day or week. Enjoy your success so far, get a makeover at the mall, buy a new pair of pants, try on an old pair(that fit before surgery). You are a success even if you're not feeling like one right now! I wish I could loose 52 pounds! Blessings, Dawn

Nicole, I certainly can understand your complete frustration that it seems you aren't keeping up with the faster losers...I am afraid I may very well be a slow loser too. HOWEVER, a loser is a loser!!! It would be fantastic to have it fall off, but it takes work to do that, and even so, not everyone will experience the same milestones. At least if you follow the rules, or get back on track, plus add in some more exercise, you will get over the plateau and the scale will move down again. It's that damn plateau, that always made me give up on my diets before...the longer they lasted, the more likely I was to give up. I know that the band will help me stick to it and work past them when they occur. Otherwise I would be doing that same thing you are...hitting the junk. ONLY, with the band, YOU have the chance to get back on track and pick up where you left off...Get back to basics, drink your water, follow bandster rules and get your calories in check. I never realized how important it was to get enough, but NOT too much...that alone will stall a loss if you fall way short of the recommended intake. I wonder if you should express your concerns with your Dr. At that fill amount, you should have some restriction...or at least I think you should...according to what I have read for others...of course it is an individual thing, but a call, or visit wouldn't hurt. Please don't despair! Give it another honest shot! All of us are likely to fall off the wagon...but getting back on it is the only way to get to goal...even if it happens time and time again. It's a bumpy road...one I know will cause me plenty of trouble too. SET a mini-goal, make some "rules", and follow them! Hang in there! ((HUGS)) Linda

Hey, Nicole. Do you have any restriction with real foods (solid proteins, etc.)? If not, you need a fill. Junk food is no barometer as it almost all goes down easily. You still have plenty of fill room to work with - sometimes its the difference between .1 or .2ccs that takes someone from open to restricted. Weird but I've seen it happen many times. As for the weight loss, 52 lbs is fantastic! I've lost 53 lbs and I'm 9 months out - 2 longer than you. I suspect that you might not feel so discouraged about the slower loss if you were feeling better about what you were eating. The beauty of the band is you CAN start over - any day and every day if you need to. Do you have any support groups in your area or another bandster you can team up with to give you that one-on-one support? Have you seen and/or thought of joining the "W.R.G.O.H (What's Really Going On Here) Accountability" thread that Jodie posts every day on the lap band board? I know that in just a short time it has helped me a LOT to get and stay on track. Making daily goals and checking in about them (even when I've had a sli*****t feeling great about my choices) lessens the burden of obsessing about my food/exercise/etc. when I keep it to myself. Being honest publicly both challenges me and allows me to let things go that otherwise I would have beat myself up about (and then ate over). Anyway, email me anytime. I've had my tough times with my band and with my progress and understand where you're at. I also know it can and will pass. Caeli

Nicole, Don't beat yourself up. Your band is still there for you. Resolve yourself to start again fresh. I did that just recently myself (note my siggy). The details of how I ended up doing so are in my profile. I was pregnant and put a bunch of weight back on. I understand the "embarassment" there, truly I do. I went to see my fertiity doc last week to see if we could not start trying to conceive again with some medical help. He told me he won't do ANYTHING for me until I have lost 45-50 pounds. I was so pi$$ed off. Not only was I kicking myself for not having lost more in the first place (I lost 70# the first year) but I had gained back a bunch while I was pregnant and on bedrest. I just wanted to throw myself out the window or something. I suppose it is a good thing my doc is on level -1, lol! That is what finally lit the fire under me though. I turn 39 next month so if I am ever going to have a baby it must be soon and my weight is, as always, in my way. So as soon as I was done feeling angry, guilty and sorry for myself over everything I got back up on the diet band-wagon and have started again. I've actually put myself back on liquids again because I wanted to really jumpstart losing 50 pounds. I want it gone right now. The thing that has surprised me most is that once I quit eating so much and have been doing mostly protein shakes my pouch feels like it has shrunk. I am DEFINITLEY more restricted than I was before when I was eating more normally (and, well, eating a bunch of crap too, lol). Never forget that your band is a TOOL not a solution. It cannot decide for you what you will put in your mouth and RNY is not necessarily the solution to this either. Not all RNY'ers have dumping syndrome so there are no guarentees that you will never be able to eat sugar again and then you have just gone and rearranged your innards for nothing. RNY'ers fail too. Lady, what you need to do is make up your mind (again) once and for all that you are going to make this band work for you and that you are going to MEET IT HALF WAY and do your end of the work as well. Knock it off with the junk food. It sounds like you have simply given up and given in to every temptation. Why? Think hard about this. You KNOW what you need to do, but something is keeping you from doing it. What is that? You don't have to tell me, I am just asking you to THINK about what is going on for you right now. Understanding WHY you are doing what you are doing is the first step in dealing with it. Your band has NOT failed you. You have NOT failed. Weight loss is not is not a game to be won or lost in a few short months. This is NOT an all or nothing game. Don't guilt yourself into falling back into your old food habits and giving up. The band can help you but you MUST make up your mind to help yourself and to stay motivated. Join a support group with weigh-ins. If there isn't a band support group in your area join WW or Jenny Craig. If you really want to drop another 50# then see if there are any doctor supervised fasting programs in your area. You may have thought that having the band would make these things unnecessary and for some people it does. It really sounds like you need some face to face in-person support. Don't be afraid to seek the help you need to get to your goals. You have come this far DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF! Don't let fear, guilt and head hunger keep you down. You must break this cycle of all or nothing thinking that tells you that if you have not lost 100# in the first six month then this band is useless to you. That is simply not true. You can stop or start losing at any time, it is completely up to you. Get a grip on yourself Nicole. Hang in there. You CAN get past this. Start over, start fresh. Try forgetting what your weight was at banding. Look at what you weigh right now and start over, I did and it really helped to put all that old garbage behind me and concentrate on what I am losing right here and right now. Don't concentrate on what you did wrong yesterday, concentrate on what you are doing right TODAY! Also, try setting some mini-goals for yourself. Those far away "perfect" weight goals are hard to look at every day. Give yourself some milestones so that you can celebrate some small victories along the way. Good luck to you! Kiera Starting over 15 July @ 265 / 261 short term goal 220 - would like to see 165 eventually.

KIERA, I AM SAVING YOUR RESPONSE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE FOR MYSELF AND HUBBY..YOU HAVE ALOT OF GOOD SOUND ADVICE..PRAYERS FOR YOUR DREAMS TO COME TRUE..CAROLYN

Okay Nicole, You've heard (read) all of this encouragement, so now what are you going to do? You have two choices...you can pat yourself on the back for a job well done...so far...you KNOW 52 lbs is NOT a failure. It means that you are losing on average of 7 lbs a month and on average 1.8 lbs a week. Now, I know that's not how it's happening, but really..you've done great, right on plan with the 1-2 lbs a week thing. Here's what you HAVE to do, get control of your life right now. Start a food journal...start a regular journal. Put down everything you eat, drink and everytime you exercise. Be accountable for what you eat...see a nutritionist..join Weigh****chers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem...somewhere where you have to be weighed by someone else. By being accountable you are more likely to have the motivation to stay off the junk and to exercise. Realize that a quick weight loss is not good for your body. See a psychiatrist...go to the one who started you off on this journey. They know what they are doing...they help wls patients every day. Go to the support groups in your area. At least once a month. By being with other people who are having the same issues as you will be extremely helpful. Now, please, Nicole, let us know how you are doing. You'll drive us insane, wondering how you are if you don't post again. You can do what you want to do if you really want to do it. You have incentive...you want another baby. Then exercise, drink plenty of water, eat right and take your vitamins. You can have a healthy baby. Good luck and please...post us with an update. Cathy

Nicole, we are here for you... Read your own journal. You have so many victories in it. And you said it yourself.. Slow and steady... Well sweetie..IT IS TIME TO GET STEADY. No more excuses. Face what is causing your eating issue and fix it. Then move forward with another 52 pounds. We are all in the same battle together and people are here to help. R.