what's next? 10yrs since LapBand and am a complete failure

Hi, I'm new on the site.

I have my LapBand in Aug 2009. Pre-surgery weight 380, surgery weight 361, lowest weight 250, current weight 364. A couple of years ago I saw a new surgeon to check on my band since I felt it wasn't helping any more--I was at about 310lbs at the time. All checks came back everything was fine, no need for a fill or drain/refill. But i was still able to completely go around the band. Now, I've gained everything back. I did this for 2 reasons--morbidly obese and desperate to lose weight and also I needed hip replacement surgery. My orthopedic surgeon required weight loss--which i did and he wouldn't help. Found out he was stringing me along until he retired. The dr he passed me to was so rude and condescending I completely gave up on joint health and let my hips continue to deteriorate. 2017 my primary dr finally convinced me to try again. She found a surgeon that would help me - by that time I was up to 340lbs. My hip replacement was scheduled for Dec 2017 and I thought life could start again. I woke up in recovery being told that the surgery was aborted because I didn't fit in the aparatus that holds the patient in place while the surgery takes place. I was completely humiliated. The following spring I worked with my primary for 3months before she retired to lose weight to reschedule my surgery--we did the HCG diet and lost 30 pounds in 6weeks. But then I fell, damaged my knee resulting in a terrible infection that led to a debridement surgery and wearing a wound-vac for 8 weeks. Wound care specialists told me I couldn't seek any type of surgery for a year to allow this very deep/very catastrophic wound to heal. Just saw a new orthopedic surgeon this week(my previous surgeon passed away) and his short and sweet answer was, sorry, there is nothing I can do for you until your BMI is under 35, thanks for stopping in.

I am completely at a loss. I've always been overweight. Not something I ever understood-my mom had a 25inch waist even at age 70. In my head I tell myself to stop eating but can't seem to do it. I don't know what to do or where to turn. My lapband doesn't seem to help, my control & will power are non-existent and i am in fear of being completely disabled.

Any suggestions as to how to get back on track and start to lose the weight? I now need to lose 140lbs to qualify for hip replacement. I am losing hope that i can have a quality of life that is at all happy.

I'm so sorry to hear of all the difficulties you've had to endure! So many people on this forum say we need surgery for the mind! Sometimes I think wls isn't enough and over the last few years I have received treatment for under active thyroid and used appetite suppressants such as adipex and diethylpropion because I feel I need every possible thing I can use against obesity.

I hope you get all the help you need!

I wish I had seen this sooner. I find it very hard to believe that at 340 pounds you were too big for the apparatus needed to do surgery. There are many who are much heavier and somehow they are able to be accommodated sufficiently in the OR. Think of all those who have every other kind of surgery at higher weights and do just fine.

I'd start asking some pretty direct questions about that whole situation. Personally I'd also find a different surgeon. Because what yours is up to makes no sense.

Good luck, I wish I could give you a real answer but I'm pretty stupefied by your whole situation. And I'm really sorry you are in this spot.

Don't give up, keep pushing for what you need. Keep us posted on how things go if you feel up to it. Take care.

My surgery failed me at the beginning. My surgeon gave me a huge stoma hole, minimal bypass and a large pouch. I have struggled for 14 years. I haven't felt like I have swallowed food since the pre op liquid diet. My normal pre op weight was 170ish pounds. I gained 25 lbs. to have surgery to cure my type 1 diabetes. ( It didn't) I weighed 240 lbs. a couple years ago and now am around 227 lbs. This is nuts! So I read a tabloid at the grocery store about a woman who lost 137 lbs. by eating all day. I am going to try it I can eat a ton of food if I eat all day. However, if I eat a little every hour I can limit my calories. Over the years I have seen many dietitians and joined many diet groups. Most of them want me to eat 3 servings of protein, dairy, fruit, veggies, starch and fat each day. So I made a check off sheet with 3 "capital O's" to fill in next to each of the food group titles. I filled in the dots as I ate the corresponding food serving. I didn't write down the food...I only filled in the dot next to the category...much easier. Today I have been eating a serving of something every hour and 2 at mealtimes. I never feel like I have swallowed food no matter how much I eat. Even a huge salad with many veggies slides right through. It is 3 pm and I have filled in 11 of the 18 dots. My blood sugars have been steady. I feel good. I really hope this works.

It is 9 pm and I just ate my last fruit serving. All 18 "0s" are filled in. That is about 1650 calories. Hopefully I will be able to sleep tonight. Tri

I don't know if you receive notifications anymore, but my heart went out to you when I read your post. I, too, "failed" lapband. Most everyone does from what I've read about it in the last year. It's a product that should be pulled off the market, IMHO. In my state, only 1 surgeon still does it! That says a lot in my book. I had lapband put in in 2004. In July 2020, I finally had it removed. It only caused trouble and I now weighed 15 pounds more than I did when it was put in. I could eat a medium pizza by myself if I wanted to. At the same time, trying to get all my water in was difficult as I always ended up sloshing by bedtime, it took so long to drain.

Feb 2, 2021, I had revision to RNY. That was my best choice as I had significant, massive GERD by the time the band was removed and the surgeon would only do RNY if you had GERD. I had Barrett's esophagus and Stage 3 to 4 NASH, to boot. Anyway, I've lost 22 pounds already and feel much, much better. Some surgeon's do the RNY at the same time as they take out the band, but I had significant scaring and they wanted to wait at least 4 months in my case.

Anyway, you did NOT fail weight loss surgery. This device is defective, I believe. Your band may have slipped which allows for more food. I hope you were able to find a surgeon to help you. But please know it wasn't you.

I don't know if you receive notifications anymore, but my heart went out to you when I read your post. I, too, "failed" lapband. Most everyone does from what I've read about it in the last year. It's a product that should be pulled off the market, IMHO. In my state, only 1 surgeon still does it! That says a lot in my book. I had lapband put in in 2004. In July 2020, I finally had it removed. It only caused trouble and I now weighed 15 pounds more than I did when it was put in. I could eat a medium pizza by myself if I wanted to. At the same time, trying to get all my water in was difficult as I always ended up sloshing by bedtime, it took so long to drain.

Feb 2, 2021, I had revision to RNY. That was my best choice as I had significant, massive GERD by the time the band was removed and the surgeon would only do RNY if you had GERD. I had Barrett's esophagus and Stage 3 to 4 NASH, to boot. Anyway, I've lost 22 pounds already and feel much, much better. Some surgeon's do the RNY at the same time as they take out the band, but I had significant scaring and they wanted to wait at least 4 months in my case.

Anyway, you did NOT fail weight loss surgery. This device is defective, I believe. Your band may have slipped which allows for more food. I hope you were able to find a surgeon to help you. But please know it wasn't you.

Girl, my heart goes out to you. But just as another posted stated, many who get lap bands are not successful. It is the reason I chose RNY - I wanted something that was more permanent but could be reversed if necessary. This is what worked for me.

And many will send you sympathy but that really does not help you. You want suggestions but are you willing to put in the work because that is what is necessary. You probably know the adage, "the truth hurts." Here is what I see in reading your post. You have everything you needed right along. You have to take ownership of your weight loss journey. No where in your post do you really take ownership. You want a quick fix. There is no quick fix. Whether it is a lap band, RNY, Gastric Sleeve or DS, they are all tools for you to use. How are you using your lap band tool? The surgeon has determined it is working properly as designed. The tool is ok but you may not be using it correctly.

You've got a lot going on. If it were me I would first get with the psych in your bariatric surgeon's office and let him/her help you get yourself in a good place emotionally. You are dealing with a lot. My "wake up call" was my primary care physician telling me I would be dead before my 60th birthday if I did not lose this weight. I was 54 at the time. My reaction was "oh, heck, no. This cannot happen; I am not ready to die of something that I have some control over." I began researching weight loss surgery that very afternoon. What is your "wake up call"? What is the one thing that will motivate you to put in the work, time and energy to accomplish your goal? Write it down. Make a poster to hang where you will see it every day. Let it be your mantra.

The hardest thing for many of us is to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. We will take care of everyone except us. There are times that I still look in the mirror and see that fat woman. It is vicious what our minds can do to us. Let the psych help you. Let them give you the tools you need to help you. Work with them; follow their advice to the letter.

I would then get with the dietician or nutritionist in your bariatric office and together come up with an eating plan that will help you get back on track to making good food choices as well as portion choices. You need to log every bite that goes into your mouth. If you eat an entire pizza or half a cake, write it down. Own it. Do better the next day. Find a way of journaling that works for you - I use My Fitness Pal but there are many programs out there as well as paper journals. Know there will be ups and downs and it is OK. You need to stick with your program no matter what. Yes, it is difficult at times. There is no magic bullet.

This is not to say that you do not know how to make those choices. It it the accountability that goes with meeting with the nutritionists to scrutinize your logs and make tweaks as needed that is the true benefit. It is rebuilding those healthy habits you learned before. Again, work with them and follow their advice.

As for the surgeons who are refusing to do the surgery - they really do have your best interest in mind - they do not want to have to tell your loved ones you died on the operating table because they chose to do the surgery. That's a pretty blunt statement, but that is the hard truth of the matter. At your weight, death due to surgical complications is a real possibility. They may anger you because of their decision, but they want you alive and well and able to survive the surgery and get moving again.

It really falls back to you. What are you doing? If you are eating whatever you want in the amounts you want, you may be sabotaging yourself. Get back on the program you were taught or go to a new bariatric nutritionist and let them help you get back on program. You got down to 250 before so you can do it. Work with a bariatric psych to help you accomplish this. You can do this.

If it were me, my goal would be to lose at least 140 lbs so I can get my hips replaced or repaired. I would not allow anyone, including myself, stand in the way. I would assemble all the support people and have them there to work with me so I will be successful. You have the tools.

There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise.

You've got this.