My story

I realize this board doesn't get a lot of traffic. I just want to get my thoughts out there.

I had my micropouch surgery on leap day, February 29, 2000. I weighed around 360 lbs at the time. I grew up on junk food and was a very picky eater. In hindsight, I don't know how I thought it would work for me, but my understanding was that the surgery would make it so I wasn't hungry anymore. My experience did not match my expectations. I want to acknowledge what happened and what I could have done differently.

1. I had (have) a strong sugar addiction. The surgery did not help with this. The surgery analogy I use is like taking a severe alcoholic and cutting his legs off. You didn't cure his addiction just because he can't walk to the liquor store anymore. My addiction was not cured because I could no longer tolerate sugar. My doctor said that I would be fine as long as I never ate sugar again. Well, if I were able to do that, I wouldn't need the surgery.
2. I was uncomfortable with attention from men. There was never a time when this did not give me severe anxiety, something I never expected. Not only that, but once I would start dating a guy, he was usually turned off by my post-op body anyway. I had trouble meeting guys before, but the guys I attracted post-op were extremely shallow and not my type at all.
3. I was still in plus sizes. I reached my goal weight of 170, but because I am tall, I never got below a size 14. I had gone to hell and back and still couldn't shop in normal stores. This was a huge factor in my lack of motivation.
4. My doctor told me that regular vitamin supplements wouldn't be absorbed. He said that all of his patients had to buy this special protein powder that had the vitamins in it for $80 a month, a small fortune for me back then. And you couldn't put the protein powder in the blender or the vitamins would be destroyed. So, I didn't take vitamins for years. It wasn't until I saw a real doctor who did blood work and put me on iron and vitamin D that I realized how sick I had gotten. My vitamin D level was 6 (should be between 30 and 100, I think) The supplements work, which shows my original surgeon lied.

I am now 43, 331 lbs and married to the love of my life. I am fulfilled beyond measure in every way but my weight. I honestly don't feel horrible about my size or I would be more motivated to do something about it. The reasons I am back here and exploring my options: 1. I can barely fit into airplane seats, and travel is uncomfortable in general and 2. My health is just now starting to deteriorate. I have the classic signs of reactive hypoglycemia. My eyesight gets blurry at times. I have a lot of confusion and brain fog.

I am much better about trying new foods and have probably quadrupled the number of healthy items I'm willing to eat now. I have given up sugar/starch for about 2 weeks and feel amazing. I allowed myself a cheat on my birthday last week. I ate a piece of cake and could feel inflammation throughout my abdomen within hours. I don't want to feel like that again. Just maintaining a normal blood sugar level throughout the day has changed my life.

I am looking forward to reading more about what I can do at this point. I hope this isn't discouraging to people because I've had a lot of demons to deal with (I was laid off from the greatest job ever in 2006, my sister got brain damage in a serious car accident the same week, then she died of leukemia in 2013.) So I'm still working on a lot of issues.

Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of courage to be honest and try to move forward. I am new to this and waiting for surgery, but I wish you all the best in your journey.

I find your story and your attitude inspiring! Good luck!

What is micropouch surgery? Have you seen your surgeon or found another one to find out what options you may have? Are you seeing a therapist to deal with the emotional issues you are facing?

I hope you find some help.

First and foremost I would say that regardless of what route you decide to take, you need to see someone to help your sort through your demons. While working through that you are likely to find some other ones that are likely tied to your craving for sugar and the quantities that you used to consume. A lot of emotions go along with our eating habits.

Next I would look at what is best for your lifestyle. This seems like a silly question but have you been actively trying to diet and cut out sugar for this length of time? Do you think you might be able to get to a point that you could do it without surgery. Maybe look at a support group as your tool this round?

If you don't think you have it in you to control portion sizes but are good as avoiding grazing and having mostly healthy meals then I would look at seeing if a revision is possible and what doctors or groups are available to you.

Ultimately success is going to depend on mostly healthy choices, having control of your demons, a great support system and you wanting and ready for the change.

I wish you the best of luck on this phase of your journey!

Gillian

thank you for this story. I am in a tough place right now with regain and can't seem to get my wheels going. I've sadly been in this place for about 2 months, but have purposed to make this summer MY summer of change and success.

I am also in a bad place and I have decided to do a revision (lapband to Sleeve) I hope it works... but it works if you work it.... so I am committed to working it!

Is a lifelong struggle, no magic solutions, is a daily effort, is an addiction, I am a food addict and there is nothing that will change that until I die, I have to work on it everyday, hopefully with this tool it will be easier because I can't do it on my own and my band had to be empty.

Best of luck in your journey, I am glad you can see the blessings in your life. I have a lot of blessings in mine to and your post helpme recongnize that.

Thank you!! Keep at it!! Dont give up on yourself!