Holy crap, 5 years after RNY, I am back and NOT happy about it. Just looking for a little...

Hi all. I used to be pretty active on the boards. I had all the answers. ;) I knew my RNY was going to be a tool and I had to do the work. Well, I did great on the prep end. I lost on the barbaric pre-op diet my doctor put me on. (I was supposed to lose 12 kilos or 25+ pounds in 28 days. Right.) I came close. The doctor said he wouldn't do the surgery the morning of, so I begged. He did it. Then... I lost very little post-op. I was strict with following orders. I weighed everything, made everything myself, ate exactly what they told me to. The scale barely moved. I only felt restriction during the healing process, but I stuck with the diet. I got hit with a wall of personal crap. Within a year, starting at 10 months post-op, my healthy brother died suddenly, my wife's healthy brother died suddenly, my wife developed pre-eclampsia and was hospitalized, our daughter was born a month early, at two months she was hospitalized with large tumors restricting her airway and between her eye and brain. Needless to say, it was a lot.  I got frustrated and went back to old habits. I dumped a little, at first, but that's very rare now. I know the foods to avoid. I am back to where I was pre-op. I am not quite back to my heaviest, but not far from it. I am addicted to food. I love to bake. I am a stay-at-home mom to an amazing little girl who was just diagnosed with autism. Food is comfort again and I hate it. It's just a bad combo, all around. 

Full disclosure: I am not great at accepting 100% of the blame. Here, it's a WLS program that is part of the national healthcare. I was interviewed, tested, accepted and admitted to the program before ever actually meeting my surgeon. I didn't meet him until four weeks before surgery. Had I had an option, I probably wouldn't have chosen him as we didn't really click. I asked all the necessary questions, but he seemed annoyed. I wanted to know the size the pouch would be. He said as small as he could make it. I asked how much it would hold and he said, "nothing." He said that he had found that pouches stretch and don't work, so he doesn't do them. I wasn't comfortable challenging him on it, so I didn't. I really wonder if his "method" kept me from losing. When I checked into some sort of later follow up, beyond checking in, weighing me and checking my vitamin levels, his team said, "Well, you had surgery. There's nothing else for us to do." It sucks because there's a bit of a language barrier and I tend to not push things. I don't know if there is more I can do medically. I am going to pull up my big girl pants and try. 

I just really needed a place to say all of this out loud. I failed my surgery. I am back where I was and miserable about it. It's time for me to take steps to regain control. So, are there any FB groups or places you can recommend where I can chat with folks for a little help with accountability?

hi.. hugs.. yo are not the first and you will not be the last *****gained all the lost weight. 

but- you know that stress eating - the comfort food carby stress eating brought you back to the weight you are now.   

a few issues you need to consider: 

1. how is your configuration now? do you have a pouch- or you don't have a pouch? 
2. how is your lab work? detailed blood test to  find out if you have some minerals - vitamins deficiencies... 

to determine what you need to do - you need to find out what is going on with you.  IMO - best would be to find a good bariatric doc in your area - so he can run EGD test- barium tests to see what your insides look like now.  and someone who can order detail lab work. 

This forum is not very active- try the rNY forum - you can find there good people... great advice. 

post the same store - questions on the main board or of RNY board... 

Hey! Thanks for the reply. I have asked for a referral to the big clinic in a major city near me. I called and they told me to write my story down and get it to them. So, fingers crossed! 

good luck... fingers crossed... 

My RNY failed me almost immediately. Surgeons are quick to blame the patient. Eventually I learned I was given a large pouch, short bypass and double size stoma hole. Successful people attribute success to stopping eating when they feel full. I don't ever feel like I have eaten any food much less feel fullness. I have had insurance problems from the beginning therefore I have not been able to have the rny reconstructed normally. Dieting weight off is extremely difficult. Fruits and veggies fill up my gut, but not my pouch. I can eat fewer calories if I eat them regularly. I also don't keep snacks in the house because I can easily drastically overeat on them. Every day is a challenge. Weight loss is slow. Weight gain is fast. I just chug along as best I can. I will never give up because I would easily double my weight in a short period of time. Best to you, Tri harder