4 years out, gaining weight, out of control

I am so happy I found this site. Here I think I will find the support I have needed all along. After having the sleeve surgery I lost 75 pounds...that was my goal. I thin****pt it off for about a month and then started slowly upward. I never exercised like I should have. I stayed in the pool (why not...I was in a size 4-6 and felt great about myself). Then the fibromyalgia, back problems, ulcers, and unsupportive husband all took tolls on my life. My husband kept wanting me to eat more and sabotages me constantly. We have been married almost 6 years. He has never had a weight problem, was married 38 years to a very overweight woman, divorced her, we met and here we are. I think even though he won't admit it he likes me overweight....less of a threat that I will stray maybe? He wants more and more sweets in the house even though he knows I am a sweet addict! He found out he had lung cancer 3 months ago...had the lobe of lung involved removed and the doctor told him he is cancer free! But....he is extremely controlling. These are just stumbling blocks for me. I know I am ultimately responsible for my physical condition. I have lost all control of my sugar addiction and am grazing constantly. I need to get back to the basics. I still have constriction but ,carbs and sweets go down so easily....makes it so easy to grab those cookies, cake, etc.
I really want to feel good about myself again and not feel the stares from friends who I know are thinking "look at her and much she has gained". I have gained 45 pounds. I feel ashamed and embarrassed.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I desperately need support from others who understand what it is like to go through the up-down-up of weight management.
Thank you in advance for listening and understanding. This is where I think I will find like minded friends who have been where I am.
Sara....Carogrl

The good news is the sleeve never expires. We can stretch it out a little, but I find if I eat really small portions, maybe even skip a few meals, my restriction returns with a vengeance. The hungrier I get, the less I can eat.

I unfortunately never lost all the weight I needed to lose. I lost about 40 pounds and then completely stopped...for almost 2 years. I don't overeat and exercised as much as I could (I had very low energy for the 6 months after surgery, but pushed myself to exercise at least 4 times a week, most often 5  or 6 times).

I am now eating very strictly and walking everyday. I work out with weights 3 to 5 times per week. I lost 6.6 lbs last month, which is phenomenal for ME. I am at the lowest weight I've been in 30 years...217 lbs. I think I'll be happy around 180, so I am getting closer...just very slowly. I am over 2 years out, so you can do it!!

Try and remove as much of the stress from your life as you can, get at least 7 hours sleep a night, more if you can. Stress absolutely keeps us from losing weight, it does me anyway.

I don't think you can depend on your husband to encourage you to eat less, so do what I do. I eat very little when I'm not around my husband. Since I eat most of my food in front of him, he doesn't worry as much. He's never had a weight problem and can eat like  a horse (I hate him...LOL) I can only eat very little and actually lose. My metabolism must be really slow. I am trying to increase it by exercise and eating tiny bits several times a day.

Go back to eating your protein first, then veggies. Cut out all junk foods, candies, cakes, etc. If you do HAVE to have a bite of something sweet, make sure it's sugar free and only eat a bite, then get right back on track.

One thing I eat to satisfy my sweet tooth is organic peanut butter with a little unsweetened cocoa and a packet of splenda. Mix it up well, you can even add some protein powder. May be hard to believe, but it taste like candy without all of the sugar and junk. Give it a try or make up your own treat to help you not crave sweets.

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress 

 

 

Thank you so much for the encouraging words and suggestions. Would you believe that my husband and I went to the grocery store (he always goes with me) yesterday and he said we did not have enough "goodies" in the house. He proceeded to pick out $131.00 worth of candy, cookies, junk, etc. So, when we got home I got a basket, put everything in it, and put it beside his bed. He snores so bad we sleep in separate bedrooms on opposite sides of the house. I kept one small movie box size of sugar free candy. I picked this one out since it is something I don't like. It is nice to know others have gone back to loosing pounds 2 or more years after surgery. Congratulations on your fantastic loss last month...keep it up...you are on the right path. I hope I am able to get there with you soon. I will be trying the organic peanut butter with cocoa & Splenda today. I also have a real problem with "sleep eating". Sounds crazy I know, but one of the medications the doctor has me on makes me do this. I don't even realize I am doing it till I wake up in the morning....ugh....have got to change so many things. But....I will get there! Thanks again.

I've heard of sleep eating. That would be the death of me cause I know I would remember where my husband has his cady, rely on his heavy snoring and go rob him in the middle of the night....LOL

My husband eats a lot of stuff I don't need..granola bars, rice cakes with chocolate in the middle. He convinces himself they are healthy snacks, which they are compared to candy bars, but still loaded with sugar and other junk.

It's tough, but I try to stay focused on my goal and resist as much as I can.

It feels so unfair to see others eating whatever they want and us having to watch every bite. I remind myself that just because someone is slim doesn't mean they are healthy. Everyone, regardless of size and weight should try to consume healthy foods.

 

Reading this discussion is just what I need today. And yesterday...and the day before that...

It's tough sometimes to be alone (except for my kitty cat) but at least there's no one sabotaging me except myself. 

I hear you, Sara. I've been bouncing between 244 and 240.0 for three months, reading other people's posts about losing 100 lbs in four months. It's awfully discouraging, isn't it? Yet I still believe the miracle will happen for us. The catch is, we're gonna have to stay prepared for it! I guess that's where the "believe" and "miracle" parts come in.

Carb addiction is a bugger. They go down easier than a broken elevator.  They blot out the world until the last crumb is licked off your lips. 

I agree with others here: get more sleep, exercise a little bit every day (whatever that means to you, personally; when the superfit exercise junkies start saying you have to run a 10K every day, I start going La -la-la-la I-can't-hear-you. Simply walking for half an hour is a major achievement for me.), and stay focused! If you lose focus, just direct that laser beam right back on your goal. and we've gotta do our very best to leave refined carbs behind.

Afternoons and nights are Rrrufff! Let me know how you're doing.

Never surrender, Never give up!

The best advice I could give you is to call your doctor's office and ask them about area support groups, then join!  I am 9 years out of gastric bypass today 12/3.  I helped run 3 support groups for many years.  We encouraged people to continue to come to the meetings, if for nothing else support for each other.  As soon as individuals would quit the group, we noticed seeing them out and about, that they were gaining weight.  My advice, join a group and don't quit!  You need that support.  Good luck!

P.S.  After surgery, I lost 110 lbs.  At this time, I am within 10 pounds of that, and yes they are gained lbs.  But I continue to be the same weight for the past 5 years.

There IS  an easier softer  (overeating ) way .  I choose to eat ( at least at home ) fat free , high fiber and usually organic ,  Sounds pretty fancy  right ?    its just  the PRODUCT of my neighbors and I's  free composting of most of our scraps ..... and a few seeds 

 

at 4 years post op I am very grateful to  be maintaining a 100 lb plus weight loss  and loss of diabetes   YAY !!   today ,in late December ,  I picked  cold resitstant broccoli heads ,  gorgeous organic blushed heirloom peppers .. and I walked a few miles enjoying the holiday light display in my neighborhood  and appreciating all  the  changes in my body and life .  

 

I don't think our struggle ever ends ... then again  find me a Hollywood actress  who can say HER struggle  ended  lol.  just be beautiful and ENJOY  life is my philospohy ...and LOVE and thoroughly enjoy your delicious food