Struggling and need support?

 3+ years out :  Come and join a place to talk about regain, not getting to goal or any mental struggles along with surgery.  Many times we think we've failed with regain.  Come and meet some friends and get on track again... My Facebook group is called bariatric long- timers. 

Hi Dawn - I've read lots of your posts and you've been very helpful.  I haven't had surgery yet, been to my orientation and now waiting for my appointments to be arranged.  I've asked the question before and I guess I am having difficulty wrapping my head around it.....(not hard ), but I guess I can't understand HOW a person would be physically capable of gaining a significant amount of weight back, even with doing  "some" overeating.....I'm going for VSG, and can't fathom HOW a stomach (even if stretched back to 50% of original size) could facilitate a significant weight gain.....I'm not sure if you know what I mean....I worry about regain...and I worry that I will feel like I'm constantly dieting for the rest of my life after surgery - so then I think - why get the surgery if you could do the same thing with dieting?  Can I? I know the phrase "it's just a tool" gets thrown around alot and I completely understand the concept (I work in addictions and mental health)....is it helpful to view eating/food as an addiction and treat it as such?  Can this "tool" be a way to help maintain?  I need some help in framing how to think about all of it.....you know?  I realize the rates of failure through conventional diets, etc.....and I guess I have thought that if the reason for failure is, mostly, the capability to go back to eating all of the crap that ****at on a regular basis now, having a much smaller stomach size, etc....would or could address that....am I way off base here?
Just some last minute fears, thoughts, concerns....lol
I appreciate your feedback - like I said before, I've seen your posts here but I've also seen some other things you've written on other websites....
Kerry

There's a few issues here.  Please note that these are BASED ON MY EXPERIENCES and what I've seen/talked to people in my support group.  Some people have a carefree life after WLS and they figure out balance and moderation. Many of us struggle with it. 

MANY people have regain or bounceback weight because of the lack of malabsorption.  Basically our bodies only absorb so much of our calories -- therefore we lose weight. After a while, the body adapts starts taking in 100% of calories from food.  So the body now THINKS it is getting more calories (even though you could be eating the same amount) but because it is no longer malabsorbing ANY calories it interprets it as being too many calories.  Regain or bounceback is very NORMAL and depending on what studies you read you can gain back anywhere from 5-20% of your EWL (Excess weight loss).  So if you lost 100 lbs, you can regain up to 20 lbs. 

As for other regain and those who in essence, gain half or even all of their weight back there are many issues.

First, there could be a physical problem with the surgery itself. Some have mechanical errors with surgery.

There are people that go on certain medications that cause weight gain or have a pregnancy after surgery.

As for over eating, let me tell you that after a year or two, the amount of food you can eat is very normal.   And if you choose to eat and drink the wrong things, you can EASILY gain weight back.  I know a gentleman who drinks 6 slurpees a day (we are not talking crystal light) we are talking full calorie slurpies.  Some drinks at Starbucks can be 600+ calories alone.  It's easy to gain weight back. Easy.  Scary easy. 

I *can* physically eat a big mac.  I could in theory eat 8 Big Macs a day if I wanted to.  I would have no trouble getting them down. Not at all.  I can eat absolutely anything.   There's nothing my pouch cannot tolerate. 

It's going to be all about CHOICES you make, plan and simple...and Yes you will be going back to going a diet.  Sorry but its true.  We like to refer to it as a lifestyle change but it feels very much like a diet some days.  And it's a hard balance at times especially if you are like me and have always been overweight.  I have no sense of what normal is.  I've always had issues with food.

If you want to keep it off, you'll be on a diet for the rest of your life.  Surgery does not change that we should be eating X amount of calories.  It doesn't change that we need exercise to make up for extra calories we take in.  It's all about calories in and calories out.  Just like when you are on a diet.

How does this differ from a diet? It doesn't in many ways.  IT's still about calories in and out.

The thing about surgery is that it allows you one MAGIC YEAR to get off all the weight you can. If you follow the rules religiously, you will be able to get a HUGE amount of weight off of your body in a relatively short amount of time.  That's the beauty.  You'll feel satiated on small amounts.  You'll be practicing good habits -protein first and chewing and eating slowly (these are about good new habits/new training).  You'll get off weight, off most medications or all medications. You'll be mobile again.  You'll be focused and motivated because the scale will have huge payoffs.  It will be the best thing ever and the payoffs will be HUGE. IT's a magical year and us old folks would LOVE to go back!

But eventually the scale will stop.  No more instant gratification losses, no more stepping on the scale and getting high.  At that point it will be about you and all the habits you've practiced all year.  This is where the real challenge begins. Maintenance is far more challenging than the first year. They don't compare.  The first year is HIGH FOCUS, HIGH MOTIVATION and HUGE PAYOFFS.  New clothing, lots of compliments, new sizes, going down on the scale....once that ends...it's just not the same.  :(

After a year or two, you probably will be indulging in more treats than before, you'll become a little more unfocused and unmotivation and if you had an eating disorder before surgery it will probaby pop out again. You'll start to have the challenges of bingeing if you binged before, grazing if you grazed before...it's not all wine and roses.  That's when we say if you haven't you'll need to deal with that eating disorder if you have one because all of a sudden it is back and staring you in the face.  This is where we say it's only a "tool" because yes, its going to be back to the old "willpower".  Those trigger foods will be calling out to you like they were before.  Weight can come back on very easily. 

Feel free to private message me anytime too :)

Dawn

Thanks Dawn...I have thought it through to the place where there are no more compliments, no more scale changes, etc....and how that might feel....and I know maintenance will be TOUGH because I've never done it - ever.  Either going up or going down - it's all I've known. 
Anyway, I'll private message as I go when I have more questions...
Thanks so much for your reply!
Kerry

Incredibly well written Dawn- thanks for sharing your wisdom.
Jen

This was great for me to read! I have been going through these same struggles. I am down 135 pounds, which I know is a great accomplishment, but now that I have stopped losing weight a few pounds at a time (and this year I have actually gained a couple pounds) I am no longer happy with myself. I am more active, more self confident, and an overall healthier person, so why am I struggling so much internally? Especially now that I have gained a few pounds, I am starting to feel very self concious...like the people who used to compliment me on my weight loss are going to start noticing I am looking chubbier through the face or something. I am eating more, and trying to justify it; I am training for a marathon and am telling people my activity level requires me to eat more. This is a true statement, but I am eating beyond the means of trying to gain energy for training! A coworker brought in a few dozen cookies to work the other day, and over a two day period I think I at at least a dozen on my own. Not because I was hungry, but because I wanted them and I figured it was easier just to eat one than think about it all day. Then one turned into two, and I thought "I have already ruined my day, I may as well eat more."

I am actually starting to feel run down over this weight losss stuff. And I totally agree with your idea that we will forever be on a diet! That is actually also a little disheartening...as soon as I let myself veer from my calorie alotment, I gain weight. I am only 25 and I feel a little overwhelmed about trying to keep this up for the rest of my life! I don't want to get back to where I was, but I have a long time to maintain where I am at now! How do I keep this up if I am struggling so much now? Does it get easier?

 Wow as I sit here an cry so me so me

Hey Kerry,

I just posted on the VSG forum I'm an almost 5 year out person who has regained about 45lbs and it's quite easy while I can't eat VOLUME anymore I can eat often and the wrong foods.  I also placed the post on my profile so feel free to read and maybe it'll give you some insight.

Ms Shell

 Hi Dawn!!!

Congrats on your success!! Would love to be able to sit down and chat. Does your group have meetings on the weekends? I live in Brampton and would love to be able to attend one of your meetings if it was held on a Saturday or a Sunday. I have fallen way off track and put back quite a bit of weight. I really need support right now as some of my medical problems are starting to come back. Now is this just a facebook meeting or do you have a support group that meets on the weekend? can you get back to me on facebook in a private message? Thanks, and again congrats!!


Lindsay aka Mugsy

 Hi there
My support group meets the first tuesday of the month but I'm too far from you.

I have a nice supportive Facebook group though for long timers that you may enjoy if you are on fb.  It's called bariatric long-timers.   

Message me anytime.

Dawn