Tears

Sitting here crying I am not doing this!! I am my own worst enemy. I have lost and gained the same 1 to 3 pounds for 3 weeks. I thought starting therapy would help me get on track but this a harder huddle than I expected. I still need to lose 50 to have my stomach surgery get over the misery I am experiencing. I am allowing my emotional addiction to food to sabotage me. I just feel so sad I want to give up but I want. Don't know what to do to get past the place. I have already been a failure at the weight loss surgeries now I am failing on losing it to improve my health. Posting hoping someone out there can give me some kind of clue. Holding on.

  I was sitting exactly wear your are sitting it took me.  Six years to get my surgery and even longer to dig my myself out of the dark pit that was my life.  My brother died at 42 years old weighing close to 600 pounds. I weight 380 pounds at 5,2".  Iwas 40 years old and  had been fat since was a baby. I felt I was hopeless. I just wanted to die.  I hated everything about  myself and my life.  I had no friends. Your Food addiction is a deadly disease and Their is no shame in Asking for help.  The depression, heartbreak and shame that comes with this disease are killers.  Depression medication and Therapy was the only thing that saved my life. Getting a small amount of exercise every day.  At 380 pounds just walking to the mail box took work. Their books that you can read that help me. The Ultimate Weight Solution,  The seven keys to Weight Loss freedom.by Dr. Phil McGraw.  Gulf Bend mental health services. This is disease that can kill you and is as deadly as Cancer.  The one thing have to remember about weight lose is that Weight lose is managed not cured.  May God Bless you.

Thanks for the encouragement. I think more than anything I am disappointed in myself. After having weight loss surgery over 7 yrs ago and getting down to 200 lbs from over 360 lbs I allowed life to take me back into my old habits. Now at 278 I feel stuck and like a failure. I know I am the only one that can get me back on track. 50 lbs stands between me and surgery I need to have for my health. I have got to find the way that works for me. Please keep me in prayer.

First I want to say that I am so sorry you feel this way. You are not alone. I am also a food addict. You should be so proud of yourself that you sought out a therapist. That takes so much courage! Sometimes beginning therapy will bring up issues and using food to cope with those issues is "normal" for a food addict. The key is to forgive yourself and work on letting go of the shame attached with weight gain/being obese. I found that when I really worked on my food addiction issues with a therapist and support group the weight began to come off. The weight is secondary to the addiction issues. Please don't give up! You can do this. There is a workbook by Geneen Roth called WHy Weight? A guide to ending complusive eating. This has been very helpful and insightful to my recovery process. I know you can do this. Working on your mental health is the first step otherwise you will become overwhelmed and just eat more. Good luck to you!

Thanks. Therapy and medication is definitely helping to deal with the depression. Now I am trying another way of losing the weight and stop the restrictive type of dieting it was causing me to be frustrated and not getting anywhere. I am working on getting active and choosing healthier options for eating so that I can lose the weight the right way. The fast track was sending me on road to destruction. I see that my mental health is directly related to my food issues. I feel a lil stronger everyday. Thanks for the encouragement.

I understand!  I am a food addict and binge eater.  The surgery took away my ability to binge but the food addiction is always there.  Good for you for getting therapy!  Keep at it and DON'T GIVE UP!

I haven't even gotten the issue of food in my therapy. I was diagnosed with depression from therapy. This is from a traumatic childhood. We are currently working with changing my mindset of experiences. My psychiatrist is saying that through medication and therapy I will learn to deal with my issues and as a result not run to food as a coping mechanism which I have done since my sexual abuse as a child. This is journey for mental and physical health that I have to win.

I'm sorry you are feeling so frustrated and defeated.  Have you ever looked at Overeaters Anonymous?  Their primary purpose is to help the overeater learn how to deal with life and the things that happen to us that make us turn to food for comfort.  I am a member of another 12-step group and read the OA material that was patterned after AA to deal with my overeating. 

I wish you the best.

I have had to deal with Postramatic Stress Disorder and Depression and My weight lose.  I grew with Emotionallly and Phyically abusive father.  It never help that  I was the fat kid. He hated that i was fat.  I always  thought Postramatic Stress disorder only came from when Sexually abused.  But, I was never sexually abused.But, I grew not just a stressful enviroment.  I grew scared to death.  I lived in constant state of fear of my father. From my earlies memories.   I 42 years old and steal dealing  with my childhood problems and fears.  I learn the best way to deal with is to let them go.  Forgive yourself.  Forgive the person who hurt you.  and If you can't forgive then , Ask God for help and understanding.  Everybody has to deal with their anger, shame and hatered  in different ways.  Just do not let the Past poison your future.  Let it go.  I wish could say that 12 step program help me. A food Addict is just a small part of an even bigger problem.  Trusting people. Trust that people are basically good.  When you have seen people at their very worst.  It like asking Jewish person to trust Nazi soldier.  We eat to cover our pain and fear.  So learning what real hunger is just the beginning.  It took years just to recover from my Depression and to find hope.  You can recover and have good future.