My RNY Failed!

 I won't go into the long drama that has been my life for (almost) the last 10 years.  Let's just leave it at it failed and I didn't lose weight.

I have lost weight by diet and still need to lose more (again, long backstory here too).  I kept checking in here just to have a record to hopefully be proud of one day.  I just found this forum and almost cried!  I am not alone in the failure and there are other people who aren't ashamed to admit it!

I need some friends who can relate, whether it was initial failure or regain or whatever!

I'm on a healthy path for the moment and would love to be able to share my struggles with someone who knows how it feels.

Email me any questions you have about my surgery, complications, later weight loss, regain or current attempts.  If you've been there, let me know.  And one thing years of therapy taught me, the failure is not your fault!  It just happens sometimes, people are just shamed into silence.

I there sam,
I just got back on this site again. I too have had some struggles. I have gained 18 lbs this year and its my fault... I am not following the rules of eating... small portions...three times a day...... dont drink with a meal.......count calories........i have been fighting some depression for which I have no reason to be depressed. I have a great life... wonderful husband...good job....I am not emotional ....... I just use carbs and sugar to pacify myself....my gain of 18 lbs is my eating out of control but its almost a mindless act....I found myself on the scale this morning and then to the pantry to bag up ALL THE BAD FOOD.... I have NO control... I too need someone who can relate to my character flaw, eating disorder, bad habit, poor selfcontrol whatever you want to call it. I MUST get it together since I have diabetes its a matter of life and death for me....since that doesnt seem to really matter to me I am not sure how to motivate myself... come 3:00 pm all I think about is snacking munching and eating....so if you have any tips to get thru it please let me know

thanks
Mendy

 I can't really tell you what will get you to that point where you're ready.  I had 2 hernia repairs from complications of my bypass.  They both failed and the surgeon told me I'd have to have it done open and they'd splice my muscles to cover the hole, but they wouldn't do that until I lost 50 lbs, which he doubted I'd ever do.  I got so mad that I wanted to tell him to shove those 50 lbs.  It just clicked for me then.  I lost a lot more.  My problem with my bypass is that it never worked, I didn't lose weight.  The doc that did the surgery tried to make it out to be my fault, needless to say she can no longer do the operations.  So I really felt like a failure.  So many people gain weight after they lose from the surgery.  I've always said the surgery may help you lose, but if you have the emotional eating problems it won't help forever.  I do Atkins, it works best for me.  I feel better when I don't eat carbs.  The carbs make you feel good while they're going down, but afterward they make you feel worse.  Add that feeling to the disappointment that you ate the carbs and you feel horrible.  Sound familiar?  I eat Russel Stover's SF candy every night, 1 serving just to trick myself into thinking I'm eating sugar.  I eat the same thing every day, with very little variation.  I know this sounds boring, but if you have issues with food, which I do, it is easiest.  You eat to survive, not to enjoy it.  I allow 1 treat a week.  It can be whatever I want, but it is only 1 thing.  I log my meals, my 8 glasses of water a day, my exercise and my weight.  That way I can look back at what I did to not lose, and can usually find it.  I eat something or drink a protein shake every 4 waking hours.  It may be a slice of deli chicken, ounce of cheese, piece of SF candy, or a meal, as long as it's something.  That would probably help you with blood sugar.  I also chew a lot of gum (SF of course) and that helps with cravings.  Trident has some great flavors out there.  The worst thing you can do is to feel guilty for gaining weight or eating bad.  This starts the cycle.  You feel bad, turn to carbs to feel better, then feel worse and so on.  Just say "Ok.  I've gained some weight.  Now I'm gonna lose this weight.  If I mess up, I'll do better the next time I eat."  And go from there.  One meal at a time.  Also, if you notice that you're thinking about snacking at a particular time and you can't satisfy it with your 4 hour eating, do something at that time.  take a walk, pop some gum or get on the internet.  I tend to get lost in my work (student) or research and forget about eating.  I can't really think of anything else that might help.  It takes as long as it takes to get to the "I'm ready" point.  If you're not ready for whatever reason it won't work.  Just know that at some point you will get there and once you do, you'll drop the weight.  Til then don't beat yourself up!

Hi Ladies. I had Lap RNY in 2007 and I can relate to you both. Thank God...I had no complications other than my same old problems resurfacing after 2 yrs.

I had the surgery because of severe pain, arthritis, several other health issues. I lost about 100 lbs. in the first year. I never made it to my goal. I was ecstatic about losing the 100 lbs and decided that I was ok with not losing anymore, as long as I could maintain that weight. I didn't.  

I have complied with my diet for the most part. I do have a "treat" occasionally. I walk, log my food intake, etc.

After the first 2 yrs the weight crept back on at first. I upped my exercise, cut out all treats, ate protein first, drank plenty of water, took my supliments and was sure that after I got back on track the weight would come back off. At that time I had only about 15 lbs to lose, no big deal.. or so I thought. I have continued to gain. Now I'm 60 lbs heavier than my lowest weight post surgery. Headed right back to where I started.

I'm in pain again now and can't exercise as much as I should. I'm depressed. My body hurts all the time. The weight feels like it's pulling me down, both physically and emotionally. I don't dump. I have to watch and count everything.

I stopped drinking Mt. Dew pre-surgery, which was my "drug of choice" before WLS. I have not had carbonated sodas since then. I was told NOT to do carbonated anything.

I haven't given up, I can't. I do get discouraged and have to kick myself. For me, this worked great for the first couple of years and now it seems like my body is fighting against me to get back up to my pre WLS weight.

I'm rambling, not making much sense. I just wanted you to know that this is pretty common from what I'm reading and learning now. I'm fighting it too!

I wish you both the very best.  : )

Chewing gum activates the salivating process which inturns starts the digestion process in the rest of your digestion tract. And since you have no food it makes you hungry.

 I've never heard that before.  I can tell you it doesn't effect me that way.  If I have gum in my mouth I'm not trying to put something else in it.  I think everyone is different.  The truth of the matter is, you have to figure out what works for you.  I have friends who do better on WW and ones who can't lose on it.  I lose on Atkins while a friend gains.  It's just a matter of trail and error and not giving up.

Gotta say gum saves me  4 sure I hate when I'm @ work an dont have any then I'll catch myself getting candy out the breakroom aways gotta have something in my mouth so gum majorly works for for sure

I was well was a RNY failure.  I had RNY in 2002.  Went from 382 to 197 in about 14 months.  Then slowly but surely I gained back 100 of the 185 lbs I lost.   I got down on myself so bad because of the weight gain.  The emotional sabatoging I did to myself was unreal.  I didn't even feel like myself anymore. 

I had a revision this summer.  I revised from RNY to DS.  Almost 4 months out and down 64 lbs.  DS I eat more like a real person, no dumping like the RNY, and the malabsorption is higher, and more long term result.  As with RNY eventually malabsorption isn't like it was early post op as time goes on.  Of course the vitamin regimine is a lot more strict than with RNY but I will take that if it means getting back on track.

i had RNY and i have only lost 70 lbs. I have been struggling to maintain that weight but running. this year i have run 10ks 5Ks and my first half marathon and have gained 16 lbs. i am never full and am now considering DS. My doctor is the carb Nazi. I have worked with his nutritionist and she has approved of what i am eating but i know i can take in more than the average RNY patient. i had an upper endoscopy and upper gi and both came out with different stoma mesurements wich they say are normal. The surgeons both where i went have basicall brushed me aside and said that i am one of their 20% failure rate. That was never said to me before the surgery, that 1 in 5 is a failure. i have been pretty depressed with the attitude of their office and dont even want to go back.

 Doctors love to blame the patient.  Know this.  I lost my weight MYSELF!!!  I thought that I needed help, thus thr RNY, but when it didn't help I felt helpless, like you do now.  You can do it on your own!  I would never, ever consider another surgery.   At least you lost the 70, that's better than I did.  It is not your fault.  Sometimes things suck and this is one of them.  Doing all of that running has probably put some weight on you.  The good kind, muscle.  I will say I do best on Atkins, but that is just me.  Before I started my diet (6 yrs AFTER RNY) I looked at all the options out there.  Couldn't afford WW or Jenny.  Love my hamburgers and meats, so I chose Atkins (had to give up the least).  Find a diet you think you can live with.  If your nutritionist is okay with your diet, have them help you figure out what's going wrong and why you aren't losing.  If your doctor makes you feel worse and isn't helping, let them go.  You can do it on your own and will when you are ready.  I have to ask though, if you can do all of that running, how much weight are you needing to lose?  How are your clothes fitting?  Maybe you are losing inches.  I have had 8 endoscopies to date, my pyloric sphincter keeps closing up.  I've had 3 hernia repairs.  Have to take tons of calcium, iron, Vit D and B since my body can't absorb them.  I get kidney stones, that's another effect they don't tell you about.  I throw up several times a week, sometimes daily.  My teeth are rotting due to this.  If you came out healthy, be glad and don't press your luck.  I know you can do it.  Just take some time, figure out with your nutritionist what to do and give it a try.  

We are looked at as "bad" or doing something wrong because ours failed.  If they told more people up front that they had a 1 in 5 chance of failure, I seriously doubt there'd be as many of us out here.  We are also shamed into keeping quiet since we obviously stuff our faces all day long and don't lose weight.  You rarely hear the negative, only the lucky ones.  Please think long and hard about another surgery.  It is so dangerous.  Good luck in whatever you do!