Why we overeat in the first place

 People overeat and stuff themselves in order to feel good.  It's the pleasure factor that we are all after when we eat.  When we stuff ourselves or give ourselves sweets, we actually are feeding the hormones in our body that give us pleasure sensations and those are the same sensations we get when we feel loved.  We are as addicted to that sensation whenever we choose to overeat, get drunk or take drugs.  All of them give us pleasure and all of us are seeking it.  People just don't understand that food is an addiction just like alcohol and drugs.    I personally realized that I was stuffing myself because I never had the love of my parents.  My mother abandoned me because she chose to be an alcoholic and my father chose to love his second wife more than me and I ended up living with friends and other relatives all of my life.  My father died when I was 15 and my mother died when I was 20.  I harbored anger and bitterness towards them all of my life and chose to 'fill that void' with food because it made me feel good like being loved feels good.  When I realized that fact, it helped me deal with the whole overeating issue itself.  When I chose to forgive my parents and love them despite their failures, the desire to overeat went away.  Granted, the surgery happened before I did that and the weight came off but I've managed to overcome the 'food is my life' issue because I chose to forgive.   See, when you think about it, the people who have surgery are forced to first drink liquids the first week.  Then they graduate to more solid liquids the second week.  Then they graduate to soft foods after that and eventually get to regular food but in small increments from then on.  If you stop and think about it, if a person would eat like that without surgery they would lose just as much weight as if they didn't have the surgery in the first place.   People regain their weight because they never dealt with the issue of why they overate in the first place.  They thought that the surgery would cure the whole fat issue and it doesn't.  They learn how to graze all day or stretch their pouch back out and then wonder why they've regained most or all of their weight.    A person's weight issue will never be solved with surgery.  It can only be cured by finding out why you are overeating and deal with that first and then learn to LISTEN to your body and only eating WHAT and WHEN it wants to eat.  People think that 'mouth hunger' is real hunger but it isn't.  Overweight people usually don't know what it's like to feel a hunger pain because they don't get to that point.  Food is their life.  They live to eat instead of eating to live.  No one really realizes how little food the body needs for fuel each day.    If you ask me if I would have had the surgery again, I would tell you no.  Most WLSers aren't that way.  I would have chosen to cure myself mentally first and then listened to my body and learned what it really wanted and when it wanted it instead of just throwing food down it when I saw a commercial or smelled food cooking.    I don't know what decision is best for you but I do know that you must love yourself enough to cure the inside before you cure the outside, however you choose to do that is up to you.  

I hear you!  I am finding that the "food" issues I have been complaining about for so long--aren't really a problem with food. To be honest I am not hungry anymore-I have emotional cravings for food--that I have been completely giving into lately.   I just gave myself a pep talk today (and a bit of  a scolding) for back sliding--but I guess that is part of learning--I now have to stop the cycle and get back on track.  I think habit / the addictive qualities of food is a huge issue to look at.  I have done quite a bit of counseling over the years and I don't think I have any deep seated issues left unturned- but I find myself reverting back to old patterns-soda and junk food-- I think just because I have been living like that for 13 years and it feels "normal" to me--I need to define a new normal and make it happen---But for the mean time AA's motto modified "One choice at a time"  will need to be my mantra

  I really like what U said danielle about  overeating  feeling " normal " to me .   Its COMFORTING .  I have the RIGHT to do it  ( because i was an abused child too ... and have lived like an idiot  most of my adult life as well.... )   

Without it ... I have to look at the choices I made , accept the consequences as inevitable and push for a better life every single day .  Its HARD 

I would rather  stick my head into the  sands of overeating ....snacking , grazing and excess food . 

Ach ... Ive lost so much weight yet my life still SUX   

I think of it as one step further. When we are babies we are fed until we no longer desired food. Then they checked to see how much we were eating. The more the better.  I think that is a basic comfort that we all seek. Since surgery I no longer feel that comfort, I have pain instead. There are times I accept the pain and eat seeking the feeling of comfort that never comes. But I am aware of what I am doing go it is usually a short lived experience. So now I have to seek comfort in other ways. My relationships are not fulfilling my emotions so I have become more artistic and creative.