Need to start ALL over...

Hello!
I am desparately trying to get focused again and having the hardest of times...
This website was the biggest inspiration for me  5 years ago when I first had the surgery and I seriously need that inspiration again.

My Story:
Ive been heavy all my life....Had the gastric bypass August of 2005..I thought it would change my life...i thought I would be skinny again!
Well the first year I lost 90 lbs...I was 400 when I started...
5 years later? I have gained it all back.....so depressed about this and I know what I need to do. It is just DOING it.
My mind set is so far off it's pathetic...
I NEED HELP...but am too ashamed to ask for it....I mean really...who goes through a HUGE surgery only to take advantage of the THOUGHT that it would do the trick?..ME!

I feel like such a failure and have decided to reach out here for help...

I feel like I have to start ALL over again..so HERE I AM!

I need some refreshers....
What vitamins should I be taking?
What foods that cause gas should I NOT be eating?

Im sure Im not the only one in the world this has happened to...I just hope to goodness I can get over this HUGE mountain I have created....
Thanks in advance

Tanya

Why don't you check this board out.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/revision/a,messageboard/

WOW...26 views and not ONE word of support from anyone?
Very disappointed....
and NO I do not want a revision...just need support...and cant even get that....

I'm sorry that no one has anything to offer.  I'm in the same boat as you.  I was 330 lbs. at time of surgery.  I lost 100 lbs in the first 18moths.  since then I have gained half back, and like you I am trying to get back on track.  I would like some information from someone that has been successful under these conditions, other than having a revision.  Keep your head up!

Erin

Well you know they say go back to the basics so what did you do when you first had your surgery. Protein first, low carb, no sugar, and exercise; but isn't that the obvious. Sometimes all of that doesn't work and if someone has been over weight all their life like I have and you say you have, then sometimes they need something different. That is why I put the link there, so maybe you could see that you are not alone and see that there are options out there for you. No one else had responded and I was trying to help the best way I know how. Sorry I didn't respond int the way YOU wanted me to. Next time I'll make sure to keep my suggestions to myself when you post. Good luck to you.

I did post a comment last night but it hasn't gone through moderators yet (sorry, you will get it when you get this one I imagine, I am a previous member but just joined again when I saw your orginial post)). I didn't add what I actually DO know about post op eating.

1) Try to go back to basics- Protien first, veggies second, and fruits third (if you can fit them in)

2) Put you meal on a small plate.. that has been a help to me in not overeating.

3) Limit your meal to 15 minutes NO MORE -again this is one of my worst prblems

4) WATER WATER WATER..all day (except for 1 hr. after meals). I was told 60 oz. a day and / or 1/2 of what ever your current body weight is (ie. wt. 220 lbs so 110 oz of water a day) Water can be considered : plain water, crystal light (I do that one a lot)-or any other non caloric beverage except soda (which is another weakness of mine- but really does make a difference in hindering WL and will make you crave carbs and sweets) I eat way more in a day when I include diet soda in my diet.

5) Water load 30 min. before eating a meal - this means drink as much water you can 30 minutes before you eat.. This makes you have a full feeling during meals helping you eat less to be full). Don't drink during meals ( I have never mastered this one.. try as I may)

6) Vitamins - doctors and post op patient all have different views and requirements for this one so I will give you what I was told.. You can probably go back to  your doc or paperwork to find what your doc remmonded. I take a prenatal vitamin in the morning  along with a iron and B12- sublingual- then the rest of the day I take 2000 of calcium citrate.. I was told that carbonate is not absorbed as well in our bodies so citrate is much better in order to get in what we need to prevent osteo.  You can't combine prenatals and iron with the calcium because iron (even what you get in the prenatal alone) will inhibit absorbtion of the calcium. I take 2 calcium 3 times a day- well do my best to anyway (bad memory).

7) a big one that I don't do but need to and am really trying to be committed to- EXCERSIZE- during my inital year or two I lost so eaisly I thought I didn't even need to excersize.. boy was I wrong.. I think that is 75% of my real problem now.. if I go to the gym each day I know I feel better and am more committed to staying on track. Even if you just go for a walk for 30 minutes a day it helps ( I can't do that because of a bone spur tangled in my achilles tendon so I lift weights on a 30min to 1 hour circut)

So these are some of the basics I was taught. One other tool that is helpful is a food log. Go to fitday.com. There you can actually keep track of what you eat and the actual calories in it throughout the day. The only two issues with this- 1) you have to be faithful and true to yourself in writing down what you eat and 2) if it is not listed on the ready made list you have to add each food manually one time before it will end up on the list to pick from. I am busy enough to not take the time I sould with this helpful food log. If I were to actually look at what I took in it would make me think twice about it i am sure..

So to summarize- these are the things I was told and have learned along the way. I can honestly say- as I wrote these things down- most I do not follow anymore- and as a direct result I am sure- I have added 85lbs. back of the orginial 130 I lost. I feel, as I told you in my previous post, that I will never succeed again. And honestly don't even feel like I can / should try. I looked into a revision but the doc I saw (who in this area is the only one my insurance will cover) made it completely clear that revision had a huge amount of nagative side effectsand  would make me totally miserable and not at all happy. I was heartbroken and I think really completely mentally broken, when he told me that and just can't put the pieces back together again. That added to the fact that I feel I am not worth it and am a complete failure- and as you said - put a huge amount of money in both surgery- (and plastics IN MY case) that I am too ashamed to ask for help or even try to get back on track. For me- I feel like even if I did succeed this time- well I would just fail again later on. Not sure it is worth it, since if / when I fail again I will sink too low to even look up, much less get up.

One more suggestion to add... chew your food really really well. This means it should be mush be the time you swallow and will take longer to eat so you'll feel more full on less.

This one is a really good one too I might add. One of the things I never learned is WHY you need to do that. Way back when, I was never told that it was necessary because y9ou new tummy didn't digest the way it used to. Just that chewing was necessary to not get food stuck. It was not until I came back here that I learned that it is because our tummies don't digest like it used to. It mainly gets done up in the mouth. This is one very important fact I didn't know. But I do now!! Proof that no matter how long out you are you never stop the learning curve in this journey

Hi Butterfly-sounds like those rules are great for people with successful RNYs.  RNYs can be made very differently though.  I have read of pouches 1/2 to 3 oz, stomas made differently and different sizes and in different locations in the pouch, bypasses can be 40 to 250 cm.  This is only what I have heard people having.  I imagine they vary in other ways and sizes from a surgeons point of view.  I wonder what the most extreme and least extreme actually are.  I for example do what you say.  I don't need any supplements because my labs are always high.  I don't even need lab work anymore my doctor told me.  I don't know why I bother but I still eat my protein first. I clearly can get in plenty of protein.  I do drink a ton of crystal light but I am still always hungry.  I have never vomited or dumped...ever.  I have no limits from my surgery I have to chose what to eat.  If people would be honest they had the surgery and it works for 80% of the people because they chose wrong and ate too much before surgery.  Either the surgery makes them not able to eat some food or limits the amount they can eat. Or perhaps the surgery changes appetite hormones.  But really there are some of us that have no change after surgery.  I think my 2 oz pouch wasn't small enough.  I had a double size stoma which never limited me.  My 70cm bypass leaves me with no malabsorption.   2 days after surgery I ate the 3 oz of pureed food they gave me and looked for more.  I am posting my daily food to get as close to my ideal BMI as possible.  It is not really helping as I have only lost 3 lbs.  I exercise daily.  I have completed triathlons, 5Ks and a spin a thon in the past 2 years.  It doesn't help.  I can't eat less or exercise more.  Truly my RNY  isn't working.  Do you know the specifics of your RNY?  Most successful people never ask.  I am glad your surgery is working as it is supposed to.  Mine isn't not because I don't follow rules or try.  I still can't because the surgery is not helping me.  Thanks for taking the time to post the rules for us though.  Maybe some people don't know them and that is why they are failing.  Sincerely, Daisy

I feel so bad for you. I did have success to start with, fortunately. It is just so frustrating now. I don’t have my  surgery specifics anymore. I had a medical record from my previous surgeon and it had all that info, but the doctor I saw back last month kept them. I was so depressed when I left him that I forgot to ask to get them back!

I have not checked to see when your surgery was, but no matter what the date, if you have not lost anything but a few lbs. since surgery I would get back to the surgeon or to another one. It doesn’t sound like they did their job. We do have to do ours, but honestly, how many of us haven’t followed weight loss diets most of our lives? It didn’t work, that is why we look into and have the surgery in the first place!

Try to think of it this way when you go back to your surgeon again. If someone worked for you, and you paid them to do a job, would you not expect them to do the job and well to boot? Well you paid this surgeon to do his job.. he needs to do it, correctly!

Make sure you don’t think of yourself as a failure- it sounds much more like the surgery / surgeon failed YOU.

Keep me in touch with how you are doing.

Butterfli