I've Gained 35 lbs.

I'd like to blame the economy and drastic changes in my life. I'd like to blame the little girls who sell cookies for girl scouts. I'd like to blame my mother because of course every problem in the world will eventually go back to being the blame of a mother somewhere.

But I can't.

I have to blame myself. I didn't pay attention. I sank inside a hole of depression and I closed my eyes to everything that went into my mouth and refused to accept that I was gaining any weight, even though my clothes were telling me I otherwise.

How did I fail at WLS? HOW is that possible? Me? Perfect Jen? Noooo Way, right? WRONG. I ate myself right through a proximal RNY. I knew better. I KNEW I had a shorter bypass and a larger stoma. I should have been more careful. But I stretched out my stomach. I ate cookies, cakes, sugars, candybars, soda pop, alcohol, ANYTHING I WANTED and I refused to believe I would gain this kind of weight back. I read on here that it happened to other people, but buried my head in the sand that it could happen to me.

I NEED HELP. I don't have insurance. I don't have a job anymore. My kids.... well that is another story.

I got on the scale this morning for the first time in MONTHS. 195 lbs. Yes, I'm still in ONEderland. BARELY. But that is grasping for something to hold onto....

So... Where do I start? I need to find someone who's failed at the RNY and came back strong on their own without another surgery. I need to find out HOW they did it and I need to get started TODAY.

What I will do today:

Throw out all the JUNK in my house (food specifically)
Write a menu out
Find some protein shakes online (No store in this tiny town of John Day OR sells that stuff)
Take a shower.... YES. Take a shower and get dressed in tight pants because it will remind me..
Get my prescription of Prozac refilled. . . it's been over a week since I took any. I'm feeling it.
Set my kitchen up for a WLS person. (Measuring cups, etc available)
Look up the Five Day Pouch Test.

Anyone else have some ideas to motivate me?

Jen

hello there i also am in your shoes. please excuse my typing issues,not a computer wiz by any means,but finding this post touched my heart. i had my surgery june 3rd 2002. did great during that honeymoon faze. as we all do. i tested myself and had my fair  share of dumping. then got back on track. did great. for me i leveled off at 175, but for me that was a great place i lost 100 lbs. then life tricked me into major responsibility besides running a family.  i got pregnant mom got ms grams mind started to go and dad in law had heart and lung probs. bought a house lost the house and the list just continues to loosing the 2 best  people in my families life but the details are far worse than the quick recap. fast forward i now weighed 239. in january i got really sick  went to the er. test blah blah. then a month later i get a phone call from the dr who did my rny surgery. said i needed to be scoped due to food being  in my pouch during 2 fasting catscans. so 2 days later in and when i woke up everything was ok except i stretched my stomach to thee size of a grapefruit. so he said definetly head issues and he cannot fix that.ll thanks. so at that point i took responsibility. began from that day forward,like 3 weeks ago videos mind yoou, i began acting like my scope was rny the day after my rny. water protien shakes broth, i just started stage one for 2 weeks. and continued with soft foods and so on. so now i do plan my meals and cook healthier and if i cook for others and i know i shouldnt have it i do me first, i use the toaster oven for me fish and veggies mostly healthy shoices but planning each day better. most importan****er and protien first and waiting a half hour to drink. just get back to basics and looking for others like me. i could go on for hours so contact me whenever you need to and oh exercise almost forgot i have had the  slim and 6 for years so i do that daily and incorporate a variety of walk away the pounds videos. i went to the nutrionist at the drs office and i weighed 233.4 so far so good and i made another weigh in in 2 weeks to keep it my responsibility. again sorry ii babbled. but there is a lot to say and do. just know that everyday is a new day. for me it is all or nothing, that may not be the case for everyone. so tweek something everyday. always know that i am there for you  and good luck and sorry for my typing

Shannon;

Thanks for responding. This morning I ate chicken for breakfast. Chicken For lunch and then a half cobb salad for dinner at 4:30 PM. Nothing since. I'm starting to get hungry but it is 10:30 at night so I'm not surprized. I'm throwing away the junk. Not drinking soda. Avoiding alcohol. And most important of all.....

WEIGH EVERY DAY. It keeps me honest with myself. I'll get on the scale in the morning and see if I lost even half a pound. Maybe I'll go to the gym before dawn... get cardio in.

Lets keep in touch daily and see how we're doing. I need all the support I can get. Food suggestions and recipes would be great....

Jen

I too gained 29lbs.  Im glad there is support for people who went thru this surgery and couple years later the weight seems to be creeping back.  I had surgery july 07, lost 110lbs but never got below 196 I leveled off at 199 for about a yr.  Now since last May I have gained 29lbs.  It makes me sick to put on my size 16 jeans and know they once used to be loose or just right to being skin tight.  I do not want to buy size 18 it will make me sick to my stomach.  Eating meals is my prob.  I dont have time to eat brkfast I eat healthy choice, lean cusine, and smart ones for lunch and dinner at around 8 or 9 at night.  I work full time have an after school program and 4 kids at home, husband works till 7 30pm each night.  I do try to excercise when i can but im exhausted!!  Im home in summer time and I fall into a lazy routine and this summer i know its going to have to be about prayer and fasting because i feel like im on a freight train getting ready to come off in May and what if I dont take care of my healthy eating habits cause when you are at home on no schedule I dont know whats worse being too busy or not being busy at all and laziness starts to settle.  Its like you know what you need to do and why cant people who suffer from obesity just do it?  why is it soo hard?  I just need motivation to never want to be severely overweight again and to want to be healthy! after all this is why I went thru this surgery in the first place!!

Obsession....I'ts a wierd thing....read my last post...I said almost the same think about ALL OR NOTHING....WOW
glad we are in the boat together....It may be a life boat from the Ttanic, but it's a boat full of suvivors all the same...Stay in touch....It really does help... 

Please come over to the Back on Track Together Board!

http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/backontracktogether/discussion/

wow,  I had to stop to see if I had wrote this post.  The only difference is tha I had my RNY done Dec 13 1999 and I have now gained 80 ponds.  I am heart broken, devastated, hate myself, don't know where to start. 

You have inspired me.  I had never heard of the pouch test.  I am going to look in to that.  Who knows maybe I can find my feet again and lose even a few pounds.

I will be checking on you to see how you are doing.  You can do this.  I will cheer you on.

I sound like all of you!! I need help too, although it seems that I have fallen off the track waaaaaay faster, my surgery was April 23/2009 and I am not even out a full year, I started to go down hill at Christmas and my weight has climbed since then from 138.8 to 157.6 as of this morning.... I really need some help so where do I start?? I really have a problem because I don't have access to the sugar free instant breakfast which I'd really like to get so I could redo the two liquid diet I did before and after my surgery, also I am going for an endoscopy to see what exactly is up inside.... so I really hope to hear back from one/all of you, I really need the help and no one also seems to care to help

You can order Carnation instant breakfast on line. I am sorry I do not have the link, I bought it from a medical supplier in Chicago last summer by the case. Google it and see what you find.  Good Luck

Same here. Had RNY 8/07 and leveled off at 175, which was a 110 pound loss and I was happy!! During the past year have been on a major carb run and have gained back 30 pounds. Can't seen to stop. My hospital did have a very good maint/relapse group - unfortunately they have become a surgical mill and turned over all the groups to pre-op patients, so no help there. I tried a program in healthy eating run by by PCP; nutritionally sound and focused on anit-inflamatory diet, so too high in carbs (even the good kind). Have the 5DPT diet and will try to re-start - was thinking about going back to the pre-op diet. Also thinking maybe time to try WW gain for the accountability factor.

bj