Failed WLS

I looked at the title of this forum and thought.. "Failed WLS"?  I have to honestly say I don't think the WLS failed. I Failed.

In 8/2004 I had a VGS. I lost 264 pounds in one year and kept it off for the first couple years. I never reached my goal weight as I started at 485 bls. Now, almost 5 years out I have re-gained 90 lbs.  I feel like such a failure.  I again have people staring at me and commenting on my weight.

I feel such shame and embarrssment. I hate myself and hate that I was so close but never reached goal. Not only did I not reach goal, but now, I have  gone the opposite and am morbidly obese yet again.

I don't know what to do. Some days I don't feel like living anymore. I cannot seem to get back on track and don't know what to do.

It starts so innocently. A handful of nuts, a cheese stick, one bite of this or that... now, 5 years later I feel so lost and angry at myself. I am feeling that hateful negative thinking that fills my fat brain.

I see the look in people's eyes who had seen me at my smallest. That look where you know they are thinking, "WTF.. how could you re-gain that weight". That shameful look.  All my smaller clothes have been packed away. I had to buy new clothes as I had given all my old clothes away. I guess I really thought I would keep it off. What a fool I am.

I honestly don't know why I did this to myself. Why did I not stop earlier?  I knew I was gaining weight. Just kept thinking I could catch it before it got away from me. I couldn't and here I sit almost 300 lbs.

I just don't know how to fix this. I have done all the things we are "supposed " to do. I have tried to re-start and fast for a couple weeks. I make it for 3 days then just can't continue.

I honestly am tired of the fight. Tired of failing. Tried of being a fat pig.

Just Tired period.

I wish I could afford to have another WLS. I can't. I honestly feel I am at the end of my rope.

I am very clear this is all my fault. I stopped using the tools I learned the first year and now I simply cannot stop. I feel like I should just give up and leave this world. I am so humilated. I don't want to go anywhere or see anyone. 

I just can't believe I blew this oppourtunity. What a loser.

Hi,

What you have experienced is very common with lots of folks.  We slip on our eating and exercise.  Honestly, the failure is not permanent if you can get back on track.  Start today to make small changes, positive things.  You can do it with support.  Do you have a support group near you?  We all need it.  Doesn't matter how far out we are.  Hang in there!  Joining Back On Track Together may help.  Just click on the groups tab and type it in the search area.

You are so not alone! I had the surgery about 7 years ago, lost 200 pounds, and never reached my goal weight either. I was so happy that I had lost 200--I stayed that way for a few years, but I have recently ( int he past 3 years) put on 70 pounds and I can't believe it. I had so much confidence when I lost the weight, but now I feel myself slipping back into the fat persona. I don't want to go out-Hate to socialize. I have a boyfriend, and feel so body conscious that is effecting our relationship. It;s hard for him to understand what living with all this weight can do to a person-

I am currently trying to get a plan together, I want to feel thin again.I worked so hard and went through so much.

But neverless, youa re not alone my dear. It isn't failure, it's just we get lazy because of all we accomplish and do not realize how fast you can get sucked back in. KEEP the faith!

I want to help you all...it makes my heart hurt for you when I read your stories.....I am 8 years out!  I was 400 lbs.  I know what it takes to keep the weight off!  YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!

The surgeon does surgery on our stomach, not our head!  We have to do that.  I was and always will be a compulsive eater, emotional eater and addicted to carbs and sugar.  For me I do not eat bread, rice pasta, potatoes or sugar....in the beginning it was hard...but now it just comes natural.  I have noticed that many people who start putting the weight on start eating sugar and find out they don't dump....in the beginning they can only eat a little and usually still lose weight but as time goes by they start gaining the weight back.  Sugar is like alcohol to an alcoholic to ME!  I know if I took a bite of of a snickers and didn't get sick...I would eat one everyday...so I don't go their.....

You need to go back to the basics....

YOU CAN DO THIS...

Perhaps there needs to be counseling I did it...it help!  As an emotional eater I covered up my emotions by eating...did it since I was 6 years old....Food was love to me....I had to learn it is not love at all.

It is never to late to pull yourself up by the boot stapes and get back what you have lost!  YOU CAN DO THIS...BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!!!!! TELL YOURSELF EVERYDAY....I CAN DO THIS...I WILL DO THIS....Also, this one is hard....LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF....NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE....LOVE YOURSELF....YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON!!!

Let me know If there is anything I can do to help you!

Much love,

Ginger

I've struggled with weight gain from the outset and I'm just 4 months out.  Don't quit.  Get back on your program, one day at a time.  The faster wl days for your tool may have past, but the tool is still with you.  Use it again. 

I know someone at one year out who started slipping but caught herself.  She went back to basics.  Protein shakes, protein first at meals, no drinking with meals, plenty of water you know the drill.  She'd fallen off plan with everything but exercise.  She's loosing again.  Slowly, but loosing because the tool is still there. 

I'm so frustrated but I can't give up either.  I lost 13 lbs and gained 9 lbs this month.  All while sticking with the program.  My surgeon and nut are of no help so I'm on my own to figure this out.  We're in the same boat because neither of us can put our bodies back the way they were.  We will have to endure and make it work. 

you already know what your doing wrong, and yes you still have the "tool" but you have to get out there and excersize and start changing those old habbits or success will only be a memory.  I know the pain of not reaching goal (but i wont give up) 

You have gone this far and sure you gained some back, but get in that gym and excersize. Its worth it to even hire a trainer or purchase a body bugg. You dont have to be stuck in that position of why, what did i, how come, if..... you must BE the change YOU, not the tool but lil ol' you! Inspire yourself look at some pictures of when you were down to your lowest weight and get inspired and not expired. I know your tired and its sad and it hurts. SNAP OUT OF IT ! Get your head back in this game my friend and you can do this! I'm rooting for ya

I know EXACTLY how you feel.  My biggest was 392 lbs when I had my surgery in 12/04.  By July of the next year I was down to 260.  Then, over the next few months, it started creeping back on.  I am back up to 346 now.  I am miserable, ashamed. My daughter is 6 now and I don't want to go to any of her school functions because I don't want kids to make fun of her. I hate myself.

i dont' have much room to talk, i had vgb in 2002 and weighed 595 on day of surgery and lost down to 450 but i am back over 600lbs.  i understand the not wanting to go anywhere because of the looks you get.  but i don't let myself do that, i make myself go at least to church and biblestudy and to walmart cause no matter how great your husband is he sometimes just doesn't get the right thing and you have to go occasionally if you want the right thing.  i have been fighting with myself about not leaving the apartment, cause its so hard to move and then i can't breath and start wheezing.  but God is working on me and He won't let me give up on myself or Him.  you are not a loser you are a special child of God, created by Him just for what you are right now, you don't know how your life affects the other people around you even the ones you only meet by chance for a moment.  He knew you before you were made, He knew you in your mothers womb and He knew what was going to happen, He knew you would gain the weight back and He has given you the strength to take it back off and to keep testifying to others.  so keep on with the good work even tho you don't think you are doing it. 

sharon

You are definitely not alone! I thought I was the only person this happened to until I found this website. I had RNY in 2003 and lost 150 lbs. My lowest weight was around 220 lbs. I never got lower than that and then the weight gain started to creep back up. I was so ashamed I didn't even go for my checkups with the doctor. Here it is almost 6 years later, and I weigh MORE than I did before I had my gastric bypass! Talk about feeling like a failure. I'm always saying to myself what people must be thinking when they saw me at my lowest and now I'm fat again. I too have no energy, don't want to leave the house, suffer from depression, have sleep apnea, etc. I recently started researching revision surgeries, and I found a surgeon where I live who does revisions. I've gone to his seminar and sent in my patient packet. My consultation with him is next month. I hope he can do something for me.