I'm not pregnant......I'm Fat (again)

I'm struggling a lot lately and don't know what to do or think.   I had WLS surgery Feb 1st and did amazingly well my first year.   I went from a 325 to 188 lbs and from a size 28 to a 14.    I had strict rules about not eating sugar.  After a year I got lazy about my sugar rule and discovered I don't get sick.   I feel like my eating is out of control again but am only going up and down in a 5 to 8 lbs range for the past 6 months.  But I haven't been able to get back to the 180's.  I just figured if this where I am at I'm perfectly happy with it.  UNTIL....

The past 2 months I've had multiple comments from strangers asking me when my baby is due!!!!!!!   The comments are now happening on weekly basis and its getting so embarassing.  People who know me say there is no way I look pregnant.  I want to believe them but obvisously there is something getting people who don't know me to think I'm pregnant and pregnant enough to feel comfortable making comments about it.

I'm thinking even though my weight is going up and down slightly that possibly I'm gaining inches in my stomach.  Like when I was losing I'd have weeks and months I didn't loose lbs but lost inches so maybe its happening in reverse now.   If I'm being honest with myself I haven't put a size 14 on scared it won't fit.  I've been wearing 16s and even brought out my 18s again even though I have to wear a belt on like the 7th notch to keep them up.   My shirts that I wear aren't the tunic style that would confuse people to being pregnant I'm wearing basic t-shirts that fit not really baggy but not tight.  I wear shape wear under everything.   I try on several outfits everyday before leaving the house making myself crazy. 

I know I need to get back on track but I'm so depressed I'm going back to old eating habits for comfort.   Its like a never ending cycle and I don't know how to get out of it.  Its to the point I don't want to leave the house in fear of being asked the dreaded question.  I'm paranoid people are talking about me and weight gain.  I feel like a failure.  I can't focus on anything but this problem.  I feel like I"m losing it mentally. 

Thanks for listening to me.  

Wearing ill fitted clothes (too big in this case) may look like you have a "belly" so why don't you try and see - have some friends take picture of you front, back and side way - when you are relax (not holding in the belly) maybe that would be enough to motivate you? 

i am not sure how your digestion is - but after RNY - if I have high carb meal - my belly swells (from gas, crap, digestion?) and it looks like a am pregnant... really.  So having a good BM, and eating the "good foods" keep my belly more flat.  With the extra skin, and muscles (I do no have TT or LBL - not sure if you have)  my belly has a tendency to "stick out" , even with my size 6 body.  

Join - "Back on track Together" group for support on how to get back to basics.  Great people, great forum.    

Hi,

Cycles are hard to break but they are breakable.  I think alot of times we forget it is a mental or thought patterns that needs to be broken.  Golly, I know where you are at.  Seriously, it isn't hopeless.  You just need to find the right support to get you back on track.  Are you going to support group meetings?  These fears, if you let them, will paralyze you.  Get some help, hon. 

Mine started with a 6 lb fluxuation and now at 3 years post op I am 60 lbs above my lowest weight. Get a grip on it now while it's only a few lbs, you will be kicking your ass (like me) when it's 50+. Good Luck!

Katrina

Agree completely I am 100 lbs up and so frustrated after 7 years take the smallest gain seriously

Oh my god I feel your pain I had the lapband for 6yrs and never managed to get under 200 pd my starting weight was 263 now I am 257 and yes I look really pregnant shapewear feels like pure tourture I have started the process of getting approved for RNY since having the lap band I had to get my port repositioned and now this is the second time my port has has been out of wack and instead of getting it repositioned I just said let me try something eles

You could as another possibility check out the DS (duodenal switch) www.duodenalswitch.com or www.dsfacts.com for a great surgery loved by many. Or come to the DS board and read all about it. I just had a revision to the DS and so far, everything going great. You owe it to yourself to check out all options.

Thank you for the advise Karen I have been checking out all the information I can on the duedenal switch and I think that would be a better fit for me

I wish you good luck in whatever you decide to do. I also had the DS after first having the gastric bypass in 05 and that did not work for me. I gained almost all my 90 pounds back. I did not know about the DS the first time because no one bothered to steer me straight and that is why I suggested you check everything out so later  you don't say "wish I had known" as I had been saying. Now I am switched 3 weeks ago and doing well. May your successes outnumber your failings and you will do well.