Gaining weight and very upset about it-

Today  I went to my Dr's to get my records to see about a possible banding over my bypass.    I read his notes of how I need to go to couseling to find out why I eat, dont you think he should have sent me before to figure this out... For the frist 6 months I did just as I was told, I went from 359 to about 255 pounds.   I exercised regularly and felt great about my weight loss..  I have been and did eat or sip drinks with my meals.. We were orgionally told that we were not suppose to because it would fill our pouch- however, a year and a half later I was told that it pushes food through our stomachs..  I am very upset-   I had a test to see the size on my stomach and my stomal- but they are concidered normal after a bypass.. I would like to know why then I can eat so much- when I frist had the surgery two chicken nuggets filled me up and I felt full.. Now- that would just be an appitizer.. I  dont get it...   It is so embarassing that I had a major operation and now I am back to 285 pounds..  I had a baby last year and since having her, forget about it.. I am bigger then ever and feel so depressed and embarassed about how I look and how I let myself go.. Now, the biggest trouble is I can not get my eating under controll..  I overeat, I eat the wrong foods, and I never feel satified.  I can stay on a diet for about a week - it is like an addiction- the foods calls me back- I have to have a taste of this or that... I see people that have lost a ton of weight and kept it off and I get mad at them... I know that in the past year I have not followed my diet plan and I will get back but I was wondeing if anyone has been through weight gain and how they got a grip on the situtation..  Did I fail the surgery or did the surgery fail me??  Any ideas on how to help me get this under control would be greatly appreciated!

Shannon

Hey Shannon,

I read your post and you could almost be describing me so I wanted to respond and hopefully encourage you. First of all, a big hug to you {{{{{{hug}}}}}}}

Quick note about me....
I am 40 years old
Had RNY 6-14-06
High weight 380 (I am sure it was over 400 at some point)
Day of surgery 357
Lowest weight 208
Current weight 240 (was 252 in January 2009)
Yes I have regained so I understand your worries and concerns. The extra pounds were put on in the past year.

Married, no children, Not where I want to be but ever so thankful I am not where I was and on the right road again.

Enough about me because I want to encourage you! I cannot tell you if you failed the surgery or not. I can only speak for myself as each of our experiences are different. I just hope to give you some additional tools to help you find your way again.

You already took the first step! You recognized something is not right! Now do something about it as you have to work at it. As you know, the surgery is another tool in our arsenal to achieve our goals, so make it work for you. Here is what has been working for me since January:
1) made of list of why I had the surgery in the first place
2) reviewed all my old literature (kind of back to the basics - what was I told to do)
3) made a list of things that I know are sabotaging me
a) eating but no****ching what I am eating e.g. eating way too many carbs (not focusing on protein)
b) not exercising - this has been a problem since day 1 but I recognize it
c)  mindless eating - I do not get hungry so I am eating just to say I ate something but I did not pay any attention to what it was
d) fell into an old trap of eating for comfort - small amount but the wrong things (pizza)
4) recognized that the support group I was attending was not helping (too many cliches and not feeling a part of the the group
 
I started to make small improvements in one are each week
1) found a better support group
2) finally walked away from the pizza (very hard - have not had it for 6 weeks now and the scale immediately dropped)
3) recognized the need for exercise - just started the couch to 5k by getting some folks in my support group to join me for accountability
4) stared exploring website like daily plate and logged my food for a couple of days (helped me recognize what I was eating - had no clue until I saw it)

I'll stop here as I could go on and on. My problems are mental. I need to focus and be more accountable and 3 years later the basics are still working so it's not too late. Hopefully something I said will help. Try one thing at a time and be encouraged!
You are not alone! Don't give up if one thing does not work or if you fall off the wagon one day. Tomorrow is a new day and another opportunity to try again! I am routing for you! Don't discount the progress you made even if you had a setback. You can do this. You have proven that to yourself once so try again!
If you have a specific question about something,  I'll be glad to continue to post!

Hi Shannon:
I just read your note above and really want to encourage you. There is still hope!  YOU are the hope, yes you!!  You CAN change yourself... and use all the tools physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually available - but it takes work.  ME TOO!!  I can really identify with you - but I am only 7.5 months out from RYNGB and started gaining weight... so I watched what I ate, went back to basics instead of giving into the crave and eating over things.. I am just starting to get into control what I've NEVER been able to do before - and its constant work - thinking right, acting right - using different tools, ie. my feet - walk away from the cake thats calling out to me.. especially when I'm upset.  This is a life change, not a diet.  Its not easy, its work.  And fear of failure is always in front of my face, everyday - especially when I see the scale go up instead of down.  Food is my addiction.  I've quit smoking, using drugs, drinking and other things... and food, well, you just can't quit it - you've got to eat. Right?  So to say its easy, it isn't but what IS easy is writing to you, helping people out with this problem and learning from others and trying new things to get it under control.  I'm tired of this problem but I'm going to get through it - with all of you.  I hope we can do it together. OK?
One thought - I'm learning about emotional eating by viewing the website:  ShrinkYourself.com and I plan on going to two (2) bariatric hospital support groups (Einstein where I had my surgery and Barix Bariatrics that is close to my job) plus, I'm going this weekend to an Overeaters Annonymous meeting to get back on track - I hope this message helps.  Don't be discouraged.  The Lord loves you and he will see you through it.  I know you can do it - don't give up - take one day at a time, write out what you eat... learn to make interesting low calorie meals and watch your sugars and fats... enjoy the foods that God has made and skip man made foods - it will be much better for your body.  All things are possible with God!  Take care, Gail.

I apprecitate all your encouragement.  I went back to the nutrionist today for a consult.  We planed out a five day diet of what I should eat.. I really need to structure.. I think this will be good for me.  It is so hard to feel like you have failed~  I have gained quite a bit of weight and feel like people are judging me and saying she had a major operation to get fat again.. Perhaps I feel they are juding me becuse I am tougher on myself then anyone else...  I am going to stick with this for at least a week.. I am making the commitment to myself one week at a time.. It seems more managable.. OA is something I have never tried...  I may look into that.. i hear they treat food more like an addiction which I agree with you, it is!!  You can give up other things, but there has to be an element of control like you said becuse we have to eat.. That is my problem.. Please keep my updated of your progess and I will as well.  Also my Dr that performed my surgey today advised me against having the band, he told me the data is it is helpful for a year or so but then after that  I will be in the same boat....   he told me I should see a specailst that deal with food addiction.. We both are working to find someone to help me with that...  I hate to admit this, but he is right.. I have to fix my head and not my stomach (AGAIN) .. I learned early how I could cheat my new pouch and work around the system.. The only one it hurt was ME!!   Take care!

Shan, It seems to me you are back on track . Congradulations on that ! I read your post and felt like you were talking about me too. I started my journey at 368 lbs. My lowest weight was 220 lbs after RNY 4/5/05. I lost 148 lbs in a little over a year. Then I developed bacteria overgrowth in my old stomach. As I got treated for it I started gaining weight and am currently 263-267.  I can eat the same as you. I have been going to a gastrolist for over a year. At my last visit he told me some peoples intestines are longer than others and they think this is why some do not lose as well or gain weight back. Our intestines are not measured at the time of surgery.I am going to do a revision myself. We looked into several options. I had all the test too. My pouch is not stretched and my stoma is normal size. Lapband over RNY wouldn't work in my case because it would make the stoma to tight. What my Dr. has decided was to alter my intestines to bypass the part that obsorbs fat. He said they would measure my intestines this time. He said I should loss another 100 lbs with this surgery. As for feeling like a failure ! I don't think we are a failure until we give up. I have to say my Dr. makes me feel like I am not a failure and this helps. He is so willing to help me meet my goals. I had to switch Drs because my surgeon retired. My daughter had this surgeon and I am so comfortable with him. I remember going to the old surgeon and him asking me if he could do anything for me when I was gaining. I told him only if he could fix my head. He also made the comment when I complained about gaining " my last patient lost, so we are even "  I could ramble on for hours but I mostly wanted to let you know you are not alone in this battle. There is many out there that is in the same boat with us but they are to ashame to come out publicly. I personally feel we need to see the good the bad and the ugly. We were never promised a rose garden. Everyone is different. Never ! Never ! Never ! be ashamed. If you failed you are not alone but I personally feel you have not failed and neither has any of us.  We have lost a couple of battles but we have not lost the war on obesity. Lets keep our heads up high and be proud of what we have accommplished and what we have to look forward to. I like your ideal of one week at a time. Celebrate each week in a way without food. My best advise would be for you to journal each week. Keep track of your protein, fat, carbs , caloriesand fiber. By doing this you will see what triggers you have. I do so much better when I journal . Remember " If you bite it, write it ".  Your Dr. is so right on his advise. It seems he is so willing to help you and hasn't given up on you. That is so important. Best of luck to you. If you want to email my address is [email protected] . See you lighter. Joanne

Hi,  I  just had  my RNY May 11, and I am terrified that I will start gaining or not losing to begin with.  I read these postings and know this could be me in a year.  I have been a friend of Bill W for many years.  Do you know of any support groups or forums, etc. that are friends of Bill W who have also had RNY? 

BE ENCOURAGED, YOU CAN TAKE A SLOW LONG BREATH OF AIR RIGHT NOW AND SAY TO YOURSELF, I AM IN CONTROL OF WHAT CHOICES I MAKE TO EAT - THEREFORE, I CAN BE ALSO IN CONTROL OF MY WEIGHT GAIN AND OR LOSS!  THAT MIGHT SOUND STUPID, BUT I AM FINDING OUT MORE AND MORE THAT ITS TRUE.  I WOULD STRONGLY SUGGEST TO DO A FEW THINGS, BECAUSE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING AS WELL.

1- KEEP A JOURNAL - FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU DECIDE TO EAT BEFOREHAND, WRITE IT DOWN AFTER YOU EAT AND TOTAL UP THE PROTEINS, CARBS OR FATS AND CALORIES FOR YOUR OWN INFORMATION.

2-GO OUTSIDE AND WALK AROUND THE BLOCK - TAKE SOME NORDIC STICKS AND PUSH ON THEM AS YOU WALK, IT DOES WONDERS FOR YOUR BODY.  AND ALSO JOIN A GYM LIKE LAFITNESS AND RELAX THERE AND EXERCISE THERE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN - GO AT YOUR OWN PACE AND DON'T HURT YOURSELF.

3-GO ON LINE TO SHRINKYOURSELF.COM AND TRY IT OUT - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY THEM, IF YOU OBSERVE THEIR TRIAL AND ASK FOR UPDATES, THEY WILL EVENTUALLY SEND YOU A FREE LINK TO DO THE SESSIONS FOR 12 WEEKS.

4-GO TO YOUR HEALTHCARE PROVIDER AND FIND A PSYCHOLOGIST THAT KNOWS ABOUT EATING DISORDERS AND MAKE SOME APPOINTMENTS - THIS GOES ALONG WITH SHRINKYOURSELF.COM, ITS A MUST TO GET TO THE HEART OF WHATS EATING YOU.

5-LASTLY, DO SOME FUN THINGS FOR YOURSELF AND LIGHTEN UP - THIS RYN GASTRIC BYPASS WILL HELP YOU LOSE ABOUT 100 POUNDS, THE REST IS UP TO YOU. DON'T BE AFRAID OF GAINING, IF YOU GAIN A FEW POUNDS, TAKE A STEP BACK AND FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING WRONG... AND GO BACK TO YOUR DOCTOR AND SUPPORT GROUPS AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.. EVEN IF YOU NEED TO GO TO OVEREATERS ANNANMOUS OR ANY OTHER SUPPORT GROUP LIKE AL ANON WHICH HELPS YOU GET IN CHECK WITH YOUR EMOTIONS - GO SEE YOUR PRIMARY DOCTOR AND GET ON SOME MEDICINE, LIKE I DID AND IT WILL HELP THE ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION WHILE YOU ARE CHANGING YOUR LIFE AS WELL.  YOU CAN DO IT.  TAKE FOCUSED AND REMEMBER, GOD LOVES YOU AND IF YOU TRUST IN HIM, HE WILL GET YOU THROUGH THIS AND YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER.  GAIL.

Hi,

You got some really good advice.  There is a very good board here on OH called Back on Track Together.  People who just can't get back on track are on this board and truly are an encouragement.  Here is the link.

http://www.obesityhelp.com/group/backontracktogether/

Hi Shannon,
The bypass did not fail you, you did not fail the bypass. Go back to the original rules. Our pouches stretch, our bodies naturally try to bring back what we lose in the best way it can.
I am on the gaining side also, so I went and found my local back on track group and am starting it on saturday. Don't give up girl! Back to basics!
Good Luck!

Here I go again- well I could not even stay in controll for a week! Not even one week!!  I called the nurtionist and moved my appoitment out a week...  I have gained another 5 pounds.     I think I am going to ask for another antidepressant. I have been taking Paxil and now Celexa for over 10 years and  I think this does not help my weight situation..   When I had my daughter I had gotten off my meds and lost 40 pounds without even trying!   Now, since my massive weight gain  I went out and bought a 200 stroller to take my daughter with me for walks and do you think I used this one!  NO! What the hell is the matter with me... I felt so good when I was eating right, losing weight and exercising.  I felt for the first time in my life "fit"..  Now I feel like a fat cow and dont know what to do about it... It is so depressing.. i cant stand getting dressed in the morning seeing the weight I packed back on.. The minute I get home I put gym pants and baggy sweatshirts on so I feel confortable and just eat and I dont even know why...  How can I get a grip on this.. Any adivse will be appreciated.  I am going to take the notebook they give out when you first have surgery and try again.. But, I am somewhat feeling helpess about my weight..  I have a problem with my thinking that it is to far gone to fix so why dont I have this or that.. I do this in every aspect in my life-  now I am rambling on and on...   I have to stop doing this to myself!!  Anyone else going through this?