Failed WLS Depressed

Hi Everyone, Happy New Year....

I had revision band surgery July 08....due to slippage. I have not lost one single pound. I am stuck at 205-209 from 260 pounds. I had my first surgery April 07. What the heck is going on here. I know that I am not doing what I did before....that is a given. I have this band filled to 9.75 and I feel minimally restriction. I know that I am eating around the band. But truth be told I am so sick and tired of dieting. I have been fat since I was 11 and I am 53 years old now. I want a magic bullet, I want someone to wave their magic wand and make me skinny. OK so it's magical thinking....but I want that.

When Oprah talked about her weight gain.....and her frustrations....I understood how she feels....with all her work on herself, physical, spiritually, and her diet and exercise crew she still gained the weight back.

Then I was watching the Biggest Loser and a man on there had gastric bypass and gained all his weight back....400 pounds.

What the heck is going on here.....I want so badly to be thin, not to have to think all the time about food and what to eat what not to eat, to fit into normal regular off the rack clothes. I hate this.....it's like  a merry go round and I can't get off. Stuck in the twig ht zone.

I know I am feeling sorry for myself....well maybe I am. But I am so sick and tired of trying everything and anything to lose this weight. I am such a success in all areas of my life but this....and I am so darn mad at myself.

I know that its alot my fault....I will eat and do what I need to do for myself for a week and then comes the weekend and I blow it all on ice cream and cake. Boy am I really feeling sorry for myself.....LOL

I have to laugh at myself for what I just wrote above....whew...it felt good to vent and get that out. OK....now that I have vomited out all my pains and woes....its time to take a deep breath and move forward. Baby steps. I need to make an appointment with my surgeon and let them know how I feel and what I am doing. I know that they too are frustrated with me as well. I need to get to support groups and get involved with other like minded people. I have remained isolated and in my own head for some time now.....and I am not very good company when I am in this space.

Wow, you've read this far....you are a good friend to listen to me vent. I feel better....I know I have to put action into my plan....not be in my head so much. There is more to me than what I weight on the scale. I have to admit that I am a food addict and I need to take steps to address that. Feeling sorry for myself is only adding to my pity party.

Does anyone else feel this way......what have you done to move forward. I am open for all suggestions.....thanks a million times for letting me vent....

Hugs Susan

Aloha Susan.......Wow, I don't usually come to this forum, but for some reason I wandered in today and read your post. I feel so sorry that you have gone through two surgeries and aren't able to have a tool that works for you. Many have not been able to succeed with the band and have resorted to finally having RNY surgery. I have a feeling you might need to do this. RNY just gives you a lot of time where you CAN'T eat food and during that time you hopefully develop good eating habits. If you wander astray, you little pouch will zap you big time with a trip to the bathroom to get it all out. Doesn't take many times like that you and you avoid those foods completely.

My story is a happy one and I want others to have that, too. I went from 319 lbs. to 153 today and just had a panniculectomy six weeks ago to get rid of about 4 lbs. of excess skin on my belly and that has healed nicely and I actually have a flat belly again. I'm tall, and actually skinny now.......having lost more than I should. Hopefully this doesn't depress you, but gives you another possibility to discuss with your medical staff. I have first hand knowledge of a big Hawaiian man who weighed 420, had the band, and only lost 50 lbs. He could NOT not eat! He went and had RNY, and today he weighs a healthy 225 and looks gorgeous.

Good luck to you.....and I think there was a reason I wandered into this forum today.

Aloha nui loa,

Maui Karen

Susan;

I could have written every word of that post myself.  As I read yours the tears started and continue as I write.  I feel as if I too have failed.  I thought this was the magic bullet.   Turns out that I figured out how to eat around this too!  Am I just meant to be fat?  What is wrong with me?  My insurance will not pay for another surgery....so either I figure out how to make this work or just give up and not think about it again!  Ya right!  It is all I think about, I am now starting to avoid family and friends as I am mortified that this step has not worked....in fact I have now started to gain weight back.  I lost my job in November and things have gone down hill since then.  I sit at home and feel sorry for myself and eat small meals all day long...then I have wine at night...and not just a glass but sometimes an entire bottle....So where to go from here.    I just got into grad school, so I need to get back on track with this, but don't know where to start.  So maybe the two of us can do it together and hold each other accountable.  It is hard for others to understand as they have not had the surgery.  I have taken a few pilates classes, and I love the standing pilates, but am to scared to go to the mat class.  My arms just can not hold up all this weight.....
If anyone else out there has any books or websites that would help me get back on track please let me know!

Hi Susan;

I feel your pain, I too had my lap band surgery on Jul of 06, and a revision for a flipped port Nov of 06, and have only lost 50 pounds since, I have very little restriction, even though I get choked up all the time, I loose one pound and gain two back, it has been a Yo Yo Syndrome since the last two years, I'm in a desperate mood, cause it seems like all the sacrifices that I've made are a waste, I'm very irritable and I'm tired and feel sometimes that I chose the wrong surgery...

I too want the magical wand to make it all go away, if you find it can you share with me?

LOL

If anyone out there can shed some light at the end of the tunnel; please let it shine, let it shine.

Waiting for some encouraging words of wisdom, from anyone that has been there and done it.

XOXOX

Julie

Hey Susan,

I know you see a lot of people promote RNY b/c you aren't losing with your band, but they have their fair share of problems too. I work with a lady that had RNY 6 years ago and has put on 60 of the 130 lbs that she lost. She wants to know if my doctor will put a band on her.

I suppose the grass is always greener.

Hi Susan,

I too could have written your message above.  But wanted to let you know that RNY surgery is no more the answer than lap band.  I had RNY 5 years ago and I have gained back 30 of my 90 pounds that I lost.  Yes, I only lost 90 with my surgery - I was hoping for 120 and now with 30 pounds back I'm 60 pounds heavier than I should be and I'VE HAD WLS!!!  I really believed that the surgery was my answer and I could finlly think about something else in my life except my weight.  Here I am in 2009 with the same damn new year's resolution that I've had for 40+ years.

I was 50 when I had the surgery so I figured that was why my weighloss was slower and less than many others.  I was actually happy with my weighloss in the beginning and could have been happy to stay where I got but not with these extra pounds.  I got down to "overweight" and now I'm back to obese!!!

It's no mystery how I got here - I'm not drinking my water, eating the right foods or exercising BUT if I could do those things on my own I would never have gotten so fat in the first place.  I believed this surgery would stop me from eatting so much.  Right now I can eat almost as much as I could before surgery!  I don't know where it goes!  Oh wait, yes I do......my hips, thighs and I'm even noticing it in my face now and that 's the last place I usually gain!!

I agree with you if feels good to write this down and get out some of my anger and frustration.  I'm not doing good with my new year's resolution and the whole thing is very depressing.

This probably didn't help you but at least you know you're not alone.

Have any of you research the DUODENAL SWITCH......if not I ecourage you to please  go to the forum site and read about this surgery.....please

Well, well, well...do I belong at this post or what?  I am soooo glad to see that there are a few people out there that are in the same boat as me.  It confirms that I'm not crazy, as some think.  I had the lap band in May 2007 - 20 months yesterday to be exact.  I have not lost any weight to speak of (up and down 1-3 pounds, depending on the week).  I have had 7 or 8 fills, and am at 3.0 cc's in my 4.0 cc band.  I have fairly good restriction, my portions are greatly decreased, and I've been working out.  Do you think THIS made a difference in the numbers on the scale or the way my clothes fit?  Hell, no.  My attitude is becoming - "why bother".  I know that's not a good attitude to have, but unless you've failed WLS - you have no idea how frustrating and depressing it is.  I am contemplating a revision WLS of some sort - I'm leaning towards RNY; however, a couple of people have suggested the DS - which I haven't researched a whole lot, yet.  I understand it's not a very common surgery, yet, and not approved by many insurances.  I too wanted/want a miracle fix in the weight loss department.  I didn't know that the lap-band doesn't work for everyone, and that it takes the most effort out of all the WLS's.  I am sorry to say that I'm afraid I am a statistic - pretty sure I classify as a failed bander.  I wonder what to do next - something or nothing?  I know that you can gain weight back with any of the WLS; however, my thought with the RNY was praying that I get the dumping syndrome if I eat sugars.  The reason being, if I have terrible physical side effects from eating the "bad" stuff - I wouldn't eat it.  You can eat anything with the band, unless you've made lifestyle changes in yer head - but I haven't.  And, yes, I know that all WLS require lifestyle changes - but I'd like a little help initially.  I sincerely hope that the grass is greener on the other side, but I know life isn't that easy.  And, I am in the "feeling sorry for myself" boat as well.  Thanks for letting me vent, and for coming forward so that I know I'm not alone.  Good luck to all who struggle and congratulations to all who have succeeded.

If you want a magic wand, look into a revision to the Duodenal Switch.  You lose more weight with it and maintain for a much longer period of time.  Post op quality of life is reportedly better also.  The surgery leaves your pyloric valve in tact, so there is no dumping.  Not trying to "dis" anyone routing for the RNY, just throwing in my two cents since I'm here.

I've been obese since I was 5.  I have tried EVERY diet out there, starvation, extreme exercise, nutritionists, doctors, supplements, ayurvedic medicine.  I've done it all, and I'm only 26.  I remember several years ago, when I was 19, my dad had just died.  I was so depressed and had a lot of anger, so I decided to really throw myself into the gym, resistance training, and dieting.  I had a personal trainer, I was on the elliptical, bike, and treadmill 5x a week for an hour and a half.  I was also doing weights on my off days and eating like a bird.  Every time I would go for a weigh in and see the numbers stay stagnant, I would sit in the locker room and cry my eyes out.  It was torture.  I did this for 10 months and actually gained weight.  That's when I knew I'd have to impose some sort of malabsorptive measure for my body to break the cycle.  I already eat healthy, so, I knew that restriction alone wouldn't work for me, and I didn't want to do more of the agonizing over every bite that goes into your mouth with the RNY.  That's how I settled on the DS (plus reading all the post-op testimonials.  I've yet to encounter a person who has been unhappy with their decision.)  After several months, you're able to eat like other people do.  Note, this is not an excuse to eat whatever you want, but you no longer are a slave to food.  Sure, you have to be conscious, but you're no longer a slave.

I see your frustration and I'm genuinely wondering if the band has done all it's going to do for you.  I've seen it fail a lot of people.  Just make sure you've left no stone uncovered when it comes to educating yourself about all your options.  You ultimately have to live with the decision, so, research, and choose your course of action wisely.  And as always, ask questions.  :)