Can't tell I had the surgery...

Unless you knew me 6 (almost 7) years ago you would never know that I had a gastric bypass.  I had a RNY during my senior year in high school.  I now wonder if I was ready.  I have always been mature for my age.  At age 24 I feel as if I am 35.  I feel as if my whole life has passed me by.  I have a Bachelor's Degree in Mathematics with Certification to teach but I can't find a job.  It seems no matter what I do to better my self I fail.  Back to the weight loss, in April 2001 I had the surgery I believe that I was at 490 lbs, but truthfully I have no clue what my weight was.  I know I was wearing a size 52 from the Lane Bryant catelog.  I believe that my lowest weight was in 2003, I am not even sure of that.  But I know that I got down to a size 18 (almost 16) and a weight of 240lbs.  Currently I am 340lbs (I think).  Ok from this you can see that I haven't been keeping track at all.  Great, make myself feel worse, as if I don't care about myself, but I do.  I am so worried that I will never get my life back on track.  I am trying, but not had enough apparently.  I tried working out before work but that didn't work, I can't get up that early.  I am a little stressed out, because I haven't been able to find a fulltime teaching job I have been having to take part time work to make ends meet.  I currently am working 5 jobs and still can't pay my bills.  Therefore I have no time or money to get a personal trainer or even support.  I can't go to a counselor to vent or talk because there is not enough time int the day.  To put it bluntly, I need help, serious help!  And I don't know what to do.  I have looked into getting a revision but the surgeons that I have talked to say that it is too soon because I have the most recent surgery available.  People say that I have so much to live for and I have accomplished so much and such.  But I can't see it anymore.  I am not saying that I am sucidial, not at all.  But I need help and I can't find it.

How many surgeons have you seen ? You say that your weight loss surgery was in 2001 ? hope I am correct in that ? So how can it be too soon to have a revision? I am a year out and am looking into and have been advised to have a revision... find another surgeon !!!  You have lost 150 lbs and that is a fantastic achievement   pat yourself on the back !!!! and also instead of thinking of what you consider failures ,take a look at what you HAVE ACHIEVED....BA in Maths .... I could only wish to have your brain power !! But I can relate to your feelings as I have been very down but I also know that only we hold the power to heal ourselves ,mentally that is !! The surgeon can do the rest thank you ! So from now on one step at  time ... heal what your able to ....one step at  time,and  all these little steps add up to the final destination wherever that place is you want to be  Love Susie xxxx

Don't give up!  I'm like you, I can achieve almost anything - except lasting weight loss.  We all have different struggles in life, this is ours.  I was around 300lbs when I graduated from high school.  I had RNY in 2000 weighing about 325.  I lost 100, had two babies and gained back to 275.  I could tell my surgery was not working anymore - i could eat anything.  I convinced my surgeon to send me in for an upper GI (barium swallow test).  it confirmed my pouch was not stretched, but my stoma was.  That allows me to eat and eat without feeling full.  I had stompahyx in September, but it was not a success.  I can hardly feel any difference.  I lost 10lbs from the liquid diet, now I'm back to feeling powerless over the hunger.  My surgeon wants to do the stomaphyx again.  Anyway, my point is that these surgeries and even revisions do fail.  My guess is that you have a stretched pouch and/or stoma.  There are a few procedures that may help.  If you have insurance, you may want to consider a DS which seems to work better and last longer, but has more complications.  Either way, be proud of what you have done and who you are.  You are young, you have plenty of time and you are learning something from this struggle.  Use that wisdom - especially if you teach.  It's making you a better person and you deserve to have a second shot a weight loss surgey.  Good luck!

I'm a preop and still learning....but I  think that the DS just Apears to have a slightly higher complication rate because it is the preferred surgery for those with a BMI over 50.  These folks are at higher risk than say a 40 bmi person.  But I agree that if your looking into revision and are looking to loose a significant amount of weight long term, it is definitely worth your time and effort to look into the DS.  There's a DS forum here with lots of folks who are way more knowledgeable and experienced than me.  They have been really sweet and understanding when it comes to answering questions and sharing information and links to different studies.  Just go up to the Forums button at the top of the page and click duodenal switch.  Long term studies are showing better success rates with the DS.  Good luck Guys.

You say that you need help, but then you quickly write all of the reasons that you cannot get any help.  You also say that you always fail at anything you do to better yourself, yet you have a Bachelor's Degree in Mathematics of all things!  That's not an easy degree to get ... Also, you were 490 lbs and are 340 lbs, so even though you have gained weight, you are still 150 lbs lighter than you were!!!    You are looking at the glass as half empty rather than half full.  Although everyone here can give you emotional support, only YOU can make positive changes in your life, and you may want to start with the way that you see yourself.  You are a human being who is struggling in many ways ... You are not a loser or a failure.   An inexpensive weight loss group that may benefit you is TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly).  It's a wonderful support group, and it costs about $20 a year and $1 for each week that you weigh in.  Also, start exercising!!!  I personally think that NOTHING is more important to long-term weight loss and maintenance (and overall health!) than a realistic and regular exercise regime.  I pop in a 30 min cardio DVD (Leslie Sansone's "Walk Away the Pounds") 5-6 days a week and strength train in my home with 10 lb dumbells 3x a week ... I often find exercise videos at the Salvation Army for $1-2..  I exercise at 7pm most days b/c I hate exercising in the morning!!! Make one or two small, realistic goals and work toward that.  As for help with your career, is there an Everywoman Opportunity Center near you???  They are FANTASTIC!  They can help you with a resume, professional clothing, career counseling, etc.  Quit looking @ everything you need or want to change and focus on 1 or 2 things that will empower you.  I think you are overwhelmed and are giving up before you even start. Hugs, Annette

Congratulations on losing and keeping off 150 POUNDS!! Please stop beating yourself up.

You don't indicate where you live, but in my familiy there are 2 math majors and they are in HI demand here in California. My sister teaches HS Math and my BIL teaches junior high math, before that he taught 4th grade. They are both making $50-60,000 here. Is relocation an option? Have faith and confidence that you are an amazing woman and forgive yourself for making mistakes. Decide on your goals and work towards them!! GOOD LUCK! Diana

Hey, I know how you feel. I also feel like a failure most of the time. I had surgery 10/1/07 and have lost 90lbs to date. But it does not seem like enough. I started at 468 and am down to 378 whoopie do!!!!  I feel like I will not loose anymore all the time.  I think you have a problem in your head. I know I do. I am taking group sessions with a pychologist who specializes in RNY. I need to fix my Head. Maybe you do too. Don't give up!!!!!  Keep fighting!!!!  Face the Truth and it will set you free!!! Tommi