why are you failing?

I'm a pre op and am trying to decide between the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy and the RNY. I was wondering if some of you could share why you think you are failing. Do you think it is because your hunger has returned? Does the RNY help reduce hunger/cravings or do you still struggle with that? Do you think it has been hard to eliminate your food addiction? I'm just making stabs in the dark......if you could share with my why you think you're not as successful as you'd hoped, I'd love to hear it. I'd also like to hear any feedback about the pros/cons of both the VSG and RNY. I'm really undecided....this is a tough decision. I just want to finally be successful. Julie

I had rny a year and half ago... I had a proximal. I lost 114 pounds my first year but after that it was like everything stopped. I can eat like normal and all of my hunger cravings came back.. I can eat a normal sized portion again and have gained back 15 pounds... this is my 2nd surgery. My first being a lap-band and I really wanted this to be my answer for finally getting skinny. It didn't seem to work for me. Im struggling everyday and feel like such a failure because I can't turn off the head hunger and make those cravings go away. Just because we have the surgery it doesn't change our heads... WHich is what gets us in this mess in the first place. Im not sure if that helps at all but wanted to share my experience. im 31 years old and wanted to be under 200 pounds by my birthday but it came and went and I wasn't successful at that either.. Uggghhh... Frosty

Frosty, Are you saying you had lapband first and it failed? Did you have it reversed? What happened? I have only been to the lapband board and just discovered this particular forum. Thanks for sharing.

I don't know anything about the VSG, but will try to explain my experience with the RNY. I wasn't hungry at all the first few months after my surgery, then the hunger came back, but the pouch was tiny so I filled up easily for a long time. I am now 29 months out and feel like I did before I had surgery. I want to eat all the time and have to fight the urge. I still have my tool (pouch) which helps control the quantity I eat at one sitting, but it doesn't stop the desire to eat between meals. I lost 220 lbs, gained back 12 lbs recently while on vacation. I'm having a hard time losing the 12 lbs because of my desire to eat. I'm still thrilled to have had the surgery. It has given me back my quality of life but don't be fooled into thinking surgery is going to make life easy long term when it comes to weight. The surgery allows us to lose the weight, but MOST patients find they have to diet/exercise to keep the weight off. I'm thankful to be where I am today and will continue my struggle to keep the weight off. I read on the boards all the time where new post-ops say "50 lbs gone forever". I shudder when I read it knowing that person will have a rude awakening one of these days. Some people are more fortunate than others and don't have to work as hard but you might not be one of those people. Best of luck in finding the right solution for you.

I think no matter what surgery you have it will probably do the trick for you from the physical side. What you have to remember (and what many people on these boards seem to not get) is that the biggest changes you need to make are mental and emotional. These changes HAVE to be implemented no matter what surgery you choose. No surgery is going to magically cure you from wanting to eat, it is not brain surgery it is stomach surgery. With most (or maybe all, I don't know) surgeries at some point your hunger is probably going to return. I feel like what the surgery does is gives you a much needed time out. I feel like the first 6 months post op are crucial for getting your head on straight. During those early months you are NOT hungry and in my experience not really craving anything. Even if you think you are you cannot physically eat it anyway with trying to get in all of your fluids so you are forced into this time out. That time out is what gives you the chance to break your bad habits and addictions with food you have created over the years. I hear so many people on these boards who seem like from day 1 they are looking for ways around the rules. They want to try this food that they aren't supposed to have yet or they want to find a sugar free version of another food. That is not what any of the surgeries are about. If you have that mindset you are going into it failing yourself. The surgery is rarely a failure, the people are the failures. I don't mean that to sound harsh. I am not perfect and I am not years out but I honestly believe that even after years some people do not "get" the mental part of it that I have been able to get a handle on. My advice to you is the research the procedures and decide phsyically which one will seem to help you the most. But more importantly prepare yourself to make the needed mental changes during the first 6 months post op. After that time you do have to work to lose weight and keep it off. And I don't think that is a bad thing to be a person who has to work at it, most "normal" people do watch what they eat and exercise regularly. That is the healthy thing to do. You need to understand what you are committing yourself to FOR LIFE not just until you reach goal. If you want to reach goal and stay there you have to commit to making these changes forever. I wish you luck in whatever you decide and I promise you when you say 50lbs gone forever it can be true, that is completely up to you! Just my humble opinion, thanks for listening.

Hi Stacy, I was just going into different forums and decided to check this one out, oh I am Pre-op on the 6 month supervised diet and I want as much info as I can get on all sides of this surgery.I have recently been "tapping" into my eating habits and how bad they are and trying, really trying to understand why I eat, I find this really hard but I feel like if I am going to be a success then this is crucial. It is an addition truly and hard to break...Anyway with that said I just wanted to say that your post should be posted in every forum because that was very good information, especially for people like me. So thanks for the information you provided.

I am RNY, post-op 3 weeks. Let me be the first to tell you that the cravings still exist and I expect they will forever. However, since I know that I would dump if I ate over 5 grams of sugar per serving, I don't even try it. That limits the sweets! Also, I envision the small openings from my pouch and think wbout what a big piece of bread would feel like in there and its not good so there goes the breads! And with sugar free items tasting so good these days a sugar free popcicle helps with those sweet tooth cravings. It's still hard work but I am still optimistic that it can be done! So many others have been successful...

Hi Julie and good luck to you on whatever you decide to do. I am 6 years RnY post op. When I first had the surgery I was in heaven. I was thin for about 3 years. It was very nice. But slowly the hunger returned and I was able to eat the same amount of food as before WLS. I am currently about 30 pounds over weight. I far cry from the 140 pounds overweight I was before the surgery. I continue to have food issues. I have realized that I have a compulsive over eating problem. I am currently in therapy and it is helping. The WLS really helped me lose the weight but getting my head on straight is what I really needed. Why would anyone need a surgery to lose weight if they didn't have this problem? The only problem I see with using surgery as a resolution is that WLS surgery cannot change your brain. I think this surgery needs to be paired with councelling.... period. In my case the alteration of my stomach was not perment. I still had the same eating disorder after surgery. In our society obese people are considered lazy, stupid, etc. It is a disorder. With the growing stress and fast pace of life more and more people turn to food for comfort just like someone else might turn to drugs. This is the hardest addiction to beat. Sure you can give of smoking, alcohol and drugs but we have to eat to survive. I don't think people fail with this surgery. I think it is really stupid to blame the patients. So many people on these boards put themselves up on a high horse. This surgery is a great tool but not cure all. Be careful and realize the long term effects of this surgery also. I battle anemia and have been very ill. My baby was 2 1/2 month premature and my OB thinks it was from the WLS. It is a lot of work and expense drinking protein supplements daily and taking so many vitamins. My suergeon (who I trusted) gave me very inaccurate information pre op and I have had to learn everything on my own. It is a long road. If I had it to do all over I would get the councelling first. Figure out why the heck you over eat and learn how to fix it. I think your chances of sucess with the surgery will greatly increase.