Am I a failure?

I am sitting here with my mother and she is saying maybe I should have the surgery again bypass more intestine i had 75cm...I was 415 and I have gotten down to 290 but go up to 295 sometimes i had surgery december of 2004, i am afraid to go to my surgerons because i feel like such a failure I dont know what to do...i have dumping syndrome so i dont eat sweets and i know i cant be eating too much i think i just pick the wrong foods is there hope? what should i do? Megan

Hey megan Your are not a failure. 135lbs is alot of weight. Keep working hard. The surgery is a took keep using it. Are you exercising? God loves you Deman

you lost over 100 pounds and have kept it off! so no you are not a failure. I would however suggest that you track your food to make sure you are keeping in your caloric range. if you are not exercising-start. also I would highly urge you to go see your doctor to make sure everything is working like it should be. take care mj

Megan, How much can you eat? What are you eating? If you say that you dump, then maybe you aren't getting enough protein and water? You had your surgery just a few months after mine. I, like you, had to be opened up, I managed to have laproscopic, but then I hemoraged, and ended up opened up two days later. But the bottem line is that no matter how I got there, I still ended up open. I fought all of the different protein drinks because I don't like milk or anything that tastes milk based, so I have switched to Profect by Protica. I am still using these little protein drinks. I also joined Curves. I won't tell you that I am as diligent as I should be, but I do try to make myself go. You are young, don't waste this opportunity. We all know that it isn't easy, or we wouldn't be here. But you gotta make yourself straighten up. Are you depressed? Self sabotage is the worst thing. I know because I do it to myself sometimes. I have started looking for informal support groups and have managed to get a few together in my area. I feel like it is something like going to AA. I gotta keep reminding myself of why I did this and why I should keep trying to get it right. Everytime I leave one of these meetings and I have been to 3 in the last 3 weeks and plan on going to even more, I leave with a new refreshed reality of why I did this to begin with. You are young, you have the chance to have your skin bounce back and you have your whole life to go. If your doc does not have a body comp machine or can't do an REE, then find someone who can and find out what your body composition is and find out where you metabolism is at. Up your protein, increase your water, get some answerrs. Get moving, do the cottage cheese test and see how much your pouch holds and get moving. I am motivated again, just by making myself relive the principals of this surgery every single day. I make myself remember not being able to do anything. I remind myself that I was taking insulin with needles every day. I remind myself that I want more out of life than eating. I love to eat, but I want to live. So I must control this compulsion, and I will control myself in order to control this compulsion. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, if your pouch is stretched, then by all means, advocate for yourself and make every effort to get this under control. If you are not eating too much, then start keeping a food diary and start counting calories, protein, carbs and water. And face the answers, if it is the diet, then fix it, if it is you, then get some support and fix what you are doing wrong, and if you can't figure out the answers, then get to the doc and have him help you. And if it is you, then face the music and get back on track. Don't let all your hard work and pain be for no good reason. Take care and email me if you just need someone to hear you. I know the struggle, I know the pain, I know you care or you would not have posted. I believe in you. Push on. Debbie 426/255/174