AFRICAN AMERICN WOMAN..VENTING..SPEAKING OUT!

AFRICAN AMERICAN FEMALE.... I'M COMING FROM THE HEART AND I'M KEEPING IT REAL...... NOT LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT..OR A PAT ON THE BACK...... ME AND GOD ARE WORKING IT OUT! I RECENTLY CAME BACK TO THIS WEBSITE AFTERWHICH I HAD SPENT ALMOST 2YEARS TRYING TO HAVE MY SURGERY, AND WAS UNSUCCESSFUL, BURNT OUT, ANGRY AND DEPRESSED. I TOOK SOME TIME OFF TO REGROUP AND OBTAIN A MORE POSITIVE ATTITUDE. AND, CONTINUED TO RESEARCH "BYPASS SURGERY". I RECENTLY SECURED FROM THIS WEBSITE INFORMATION CONCERNING SURGEONS INTHE PENNSYLVANIA AREA. AFTERWHICH, I PROCEEDED TO CONTACTING 15 SURGEONS OFFICES IN THE AREA TO GET AN APPOINTMENT DATE ETC... WHEN I COMPLETED THIS TASK I POSTED MY FINDINGS ON THE MAIN MESSAGE BOARD AS WELL AS THE PENNSYLVANIA'S MESSAGE BOARD.... WELL PEOPLE HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR OPINION, SUCH AS I STATED IN MY POSTING. BUT, TO BE INSULTED AND ASSAULTED WORDS COMING FROM PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT THEY NEEDED TO CALL ME OUT MY NAME TELLING ME TO STAY "FAT" ALSO SUGGESTING "I WAS LOOKING FOR A HANDOUT" THREATENING ME WITH INSULTING WORDS WHICH SEEMINGLY WAS SOME TYPE OF TACTIC TO SCARE ME OFF OF THIS WEBSITE ETC... I BECAME "PISSED OFF" AND NOT FOR THE REASON YOU MAY BE THINKING. EACH OF US HAVE A RIGHT TO OUR OPINIONS, BUT, TO DISRESPECT ME CONCERNING MY OPINION WAS NOT AND WILL NEVER BE ACCEPTABLE. THIS IS "AMERICA"! IF THE TRUTH BE TOLD, THERE SEEM TO BE SOME OVERTONE OF PREJUDICENESS AND A OUTBREAK OF RACIAL SLURS UNDERMINDLINGLY BEING STATED! OH! ONE OTHER THING I FORGOT TO MENTION; MANY OF THE PERSONS RESPONDING TO ME WERE PERSONS THAT HAVE HAD THE SURGERY AND HAVE SEEMINGLY "FORGOTTEN WHERE THEY CAME FROM: MEANING: "LACKING COMPASSION FOR THOSE OF US WHO ARE STILL IN THE LINEUP"! MEANING IT WAS JUST PROBABLY A FEW DAYS AGO, A FEW MONTHS AGO, A FEW YEARS AGO, THAT THEY WERE IN MY POSITION STILL BATTLING THIS ILLNESS AND HAVE BEEN GIVEN A SECOND CHANCE TO LIVE AND NOW THEY BECOME HEARTLESS ETC... ONE OF THE RESPONSES I RECEIVED STATED: "JUST STAY FAT". HAVE PEOPLE LOST THEIR MINDS? DO YOU KNOW THE PAIN I HAVE ENDURED WITH THIS ILLNESS? DO YOU KNOW THE JOBS I'VE NOT BEEN GIVEN (AND I AM COLLEGE DEGREED) REASON BEING: 1). I WAS AFRIACAN AMERICAN 2. 300LBS AND 5'11 I'M ALSO AN ACCOMPLISHED SINGER AND CAN REALLY SING! BUT, OSTERSIZED BECAUSE OF THE WEIGHT ON MANY OCASSIONS NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY BECAUSE AMERICA SEES "OBESITY" AND THE "OBESE" HUMAN BEING AS A "JOKE" AND SO WE'RE SUPPOSE TO WALK AROUND BEING FUNNY ALL THE TIME AND WILLING TO ACCEPT THE STIGMATATION THAT "FAT" EQUALS FUNNY" "HUMEROUS". I COULD GO ON AND ON CONCERNING THIS PLIGHT... BE CLEAR ON THIS...I'VE TAKEN OPPORTUNITYS AND RAN WITH THEM TO BECOME SUCCESSFUL AND BE THE BEST I CAN BE! I'VE PAID A HIGH PRICE! SO I KEEP IT REAL AND THAT MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE. I HAVE THE RIGHT TO STATE MY FINDINGS AND STATE HOW IT AFFECTED ME BASED UPON MY EXPERIENCE. ANOTHER CONCERN: IT'S QUITE INTERESTING THAT WHEN I WENT TO THE PAGE ON THIS WEBSITE THAT HAD A PICTURE OF THOSE PERSONS WHO WORK BEHIND THE SCENES AS A TEAM...NO PEOPLE OF COLOR ARE REPRESENTED I COULD BE WRONG. I EMAIL THE DIRECTOR OF THIS WEBSITE INQUIRING AS TOO WHY THERE WAS NO REPRESENTATION A MONTH AGO ETC.... NO RESPONSE! I ALSO VOLUNTEERED FOR TWO POSITIONS POSTED AND SENT ANOTHER EMAIL ASKING TO BE GIVEN ADDITIONAL INFORMATION AS TO HOW YOU GET STARTED IN THE POSITIONS FOR WHICH I VOLUNTEERED ETC..... NO RESPONSE! AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST; WHERE IS MY ANGEL? IT'S A NEW DAY! I AM GOING TO LIVE AND NOT DIE! TIME OUT FOR PUSHING THINGS UNDER THE RUG! SOMEONE MUST SPEAK OUT! AND I WILL! THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ MY THOUGHTS AND YOUR RESPONSE IS WELCOMED! RESPECTFULLY... MS. POSITIVE 2004

Hi, As an African-american woman, I understand everything you've said here, and can relate to about 85% of it. I know the board is "uneven" in terms of having faces we can all relate to. In their hearts I'm sure they believe that the issue is WLS and not race or culture. I've run into this mind-set as well, and it is unfortunate, especially when they won't -can't-see that sometimes what we get and don't get is not a result of our attitude or education, but simply one of visual acuity. They see color and react accordingly. I have a friend who is a well-known cardiologist - and has been honored publicly across the U.S. who will tell you that being a black in the cardiology field is met with the same issues all the time. He used to spend alot time trying to educate, but finally decided that he was a cardiologist and wouldn't let anyone affect that mindset. He still hears the crap, but he keeps on walking. For people of color, that's what we have to do - keep on walking, which is what I suggest to you. Stop trying to educate those who are not ready to learn. You've written this long, angry letter. You say that you make people uncomfortable by "being real." Being real isn't cramming anger down someone's throat. Being real is confessing what your anger letter is saying behind the noise - that you're hurt by the ignorance of others. I'm not putting you down, because frankly, I know that if I were to walk out the door of my house right now, it wouldn't be an hour before someone said something that was socially, culturally disrespectful to me. I know this because of the area I live in. Some would say that's why I'm trying to lose weight - not true. Some would say that I want to fit in with the beautiful people - not true. I want to lose the weight so that I can look at myself, feel better, and so that I can keep walking and be who I'm supposed to be in Christ. That being said, I'm sorry you've experienced this. We all know what it means to be treated badly because we're different. Others of us, know all too keenly how different "difference" can be when you're dealing with doctors, lawyers, anyone who doesn't know how to love with the love of Christ. Remember the Wall called Life. Everyone sees the wall, and they know they have to get on the other side of that wall. Some will only have to knock and the door will be opened for them; others will climb over it, dig under it, or try to find a way around it. The decision you make when dealing with this Wall will determine not only your character, but your willingness to understand the purpose of the Wall, and the benefit to be found on the other side. Blessings, Johanna

You would have thought the one thing we had in common was the fact that we have to work twice as hard as non obese people in the same occupation. I am not in your shoes so I am just empathizing with you. Didn't even see the original post but I can relate. Wishing you good luck in your journey

I did not read the other posts related to this issue, but I understand how upset you feel. I've seen this happen to other people, and to myself (not on this site, elsewhere)...the topics are different, but people will respond, both in a helpful way or inappropriately. If I have to shut the computer down, I will before I respond without thinking. That only makes me mad at myself, lol. I like to look at prior posts of those "problem children"...an excellent way to determine if they are a "troll" out causing trouble or if they are just having a bad day. I am not sure if this site has that feature though. Keep cool and positive ;) Alicia