Sad day

Hey guys,

So overall I'm doing okay. I've lost 53lbs and I'm seeing a therapist, but today I feel like I need to commiserate with other people. I'm about 2 months out and I feel like I'm finding no joy in my weight loss. I feel like I'm just really mourning the loss of food and drinking. I knew what I was giving up, but I feel like every interaction in my life is different now. I just went to a wedding and it sucked. Everyone drunk and eating food and me trying to find something that I wouldn't throw back up. By the end, everyone was crazy drunk and I just wanted to be home alone. I'm still not feeling great from surgery and I feel so much resentment when I watch people eating normally. My stomach is so sensitive and I still throw up a lot and I'm just wondering if I made a huge mistake because I'm miserable right now. Also, I've started clothes shopping as a filler I think for food, and I feel dumb because I've overspent. I feel like I'm just trying to find joy in my life and right now I just feel like the surgery has taken so much. My relationships are changing because I'm not much fun to hang out with and my stamina is crap. My job is off because I'm so tired I'm not doing my best. I just feel hopeless today. I am on anti-depressants which help a little, but can anyone tell me if this gets better? I feel so lost.

I rarely post but your post is so heartbreaking I feel I need to tell you it will get so much better! I remember feeling every single thing you're feeling, and absolutely just hating myself for making such a terrible decision. On top of hating myself for getting to that point to begin with. I hated food, I missed it, all of my relationships suffered. It was like a nightmare. But honestly, once the nausea started to dissipate- at about 7 weeks post op, and I really started to lose weight and physically feel good, the depression started to lift. It was by no means a lightning bolt one day.... I just started to subtly get my life back. At 4.5 years out, I can honestly say it was so worth it! But believe me, I had my doubts. Big time.

Hang in there. It will get better. I wish I could give you a date and time, but it will. And this will all be a memory. Go easy on yourself.

Thank you so much! I really need help today and you reaching out meant so much. I just wish I did have an end day of when things would get better. Even if it was a year from now, I'd know there was an end. I want you to know your post came in just as I was having to start a new job and I was terrified and you honestly helped me go and do it. Thank you for being a kind stranger and making a real difference in my life today. I can't express my gratitude. I can't wait until I'm in a place where I can pay it forward. Thank you.

Congrats on the new job! Another very real stressor, btw. I know when you're in the throes of despair and just need to see that light, it helps to hear others have made it.

You are so going to be doing the happy dance in a couple of weeks Woo wee! 53 lbs is something to be proud of, girl. You are clipping right along. Stay in here for the positive reinforcement at least 3 times a day. Use the search bars for any subject. We are here to support you all along your journey.

I used to stop somewhere at least once a week and try clothes on. Sometimes for hours. Does not mean you need to take them home because at this stage they will only fit you for about 10 stinkin days. Try different styles. Things you never thought you would be able to wear. Use this time to work on you. Find out who you are without the albatrose of food addiction running you all over the place. Be good to you.

You just have had major surgery and it is ok to rest. Some of your friends and family will be your biggest cheerleaders. The other ones you need a vacation from. Stay only with positivity surrounding you and this black fog will lift. You will remember why you thought this was the right decision for your health.

We are all here for you and want to support you and would like the opportunity to encourage you in any way we can. Just stay in here with us so that we can.

Thank you so much. These support groups are literally life saving sometimes. I really appreciate everything you said. It made a lot of sense. Going to try on clothes sounds like a good idea. I tend to online shop because I used to be embarrassed to go into stores. So, that might be a way to overcome a hurdle. Thank you for being so kind. I can't wait until I'm happy again with this choice. I'm so ready...

You are so welcome! I hope you start really enjoying this journey. This is sprint time. Lose as much and as fast as you can. You are already very beautiful. Now you have the opportunity to be super healthy too!

It gets better.

If you are really that upset about missing the food in 1 wedding than you need to go to therapy. You'll have to find a new reason to "live".....not related to food.

Scott

Hi-

It wasn't 1 wedding. Unfortunately, I'm having so many complications that I can't even keep down water most days. So, it's not wedding food, it's not even being able to eat or drink things we are allowed to eat. I've been in and out of the hospital 4 times. It's just taken its toll, and the wedding just sort of rubbed in everything I can't do. Can't eat, can't drink, too tired to dance. I am in therapy because I know I'm having some depression. I hope you're right that it gets easier. Thank you for writing to me. I really appreciate it.

It absolutely gets better. Glad to hear you're seeing a therapist - I think that's critical. Talk to your doc about possibly adjusting your meds. Some people have to experiment with dosages because of the DS malabsoption. That should help.

Try to find things to do that don't focus on food. Weddings are indeed hard. Go to a consignment shop or a thrift store. I remember how much clothes I gave away during my weight loss.

You're only 2 months post-op. It takes time to adjust to a completely new way of life (because that's basically what happened). It takes patience but it will get better.

Look at it this way - when was the last time you lost 53 pounds in 60 days? That is awesome!