Relationships after DS

I need some advice. Im now in month 7 after my DS and Im down a whole person :) but since

my surgery, suddenly my fiance no longer wants much to do with me. No intimacy, no closeness, 

nothing really and sometimes not even sleeping in the same room anymore. I know thats alot of TMI

but really, is this just me? He says hes waiting til Im done losing, for the ketosis and symptoms to go away

ect and so he wont hurt me but really? Has ANYONE else had things like this happen? How are your relationships

with your significant other now after surgery? Hes supportive for the most part but aloof. .... very confused but still determined

to hit my goal for ME!

It's an interesting question. Is your fiancé substantially overweight? He may be insecure about how your substantial weight loss impacts your view of him.

I also had the surgery 7 months ago and have lost all the excess weight (283 to 170). People at work are all thinking I'm either anorexic or dying of cancer. It's odd but I don't worry too much about what they think. 

I can't offer any wise words or advice. I am sorry you are going through this.  

Talking it out with him might help.  Just please don't let things go unattended too long.  Then, it might be best to seek professional help.  

I'll try to answer this as delicately and kindly as I can but it seems to me that he has a problem with your odor.  Mentioning ketosis and other symptoms most likely means he has a problem with your breath and maybe flatuance odors.  It is pretty common for people who have had malabsorptive procedures to have very odorous gas and stools.

I'm not sure there is much that can be done about the breath until the rapid weight loss phase is over.  If you have ever caught a whiff of someone's breath who is in ketosis you know it can be strong.  You really aren't able to smell your own breath so you wouldn't really know it unless someone points it out and that is kind of what he seems to be doing.

You can try Devrom.  A lot of people swear by it.  It didn't do a thing for me. Also, probiotics are important to keep things balanced in your intestines and hopefully hold down on the odors.

The most important thing though is for you guys to be able to communicate. Yes, he may be freaked out my the changes you are making and feel insecure. Large weight loss affects relationships, no doubt about that.  But it may just be a case of him being sensitive to smells.  Talk with him openly, clear the air so to speak.  If he feels it is a big problem (again it would be hard for you to tell) then maybe you can talk to your doctor about it.

Also, many times the odors are made worse by some food choices, especially carbs such as sugar and flour.  You may need to evaluate what you are eating to see if they may be causing your issues.

Good luck to you. 

I agree. 

pardon me for being blunt, if this person has issues with you now after a procedure that saved your life and the quality of it including your health and happiness to hell with him. what's the difference between this and a major illnes? if he's not standing beside you through this what makes you think you'll stand beside you through anything else that's difficult?so maybe you have a little more weight to lose in a form of 1fiance. I mean really what if something happens and you end up with a colostomy bag or any number of other illnesses or medical conditions that are uncomfortable?

^^^All of the above may be true but there are also people who are turned on by heavy people.  Google it.  Check out the 'chubby chasers'.  It's also possible you may now be too thin for him.  And there are also people out there who just don't care for sex that much.  Look up AVEN and read.

One way or the other, you need to have some serious conversations asap.  Get to the root cause.  Much better to find out before you say I do.  And as a normal sized person there are a lot more options available to you in the dating world.

I know all about the misery of a sexless marriage.  As a fiance, he should be on his best behavior.  Any issues you are seeing now will only be magnified after you marry and he feels 'safe'.  If you are not going to be happy with the status quo you need to change things now because it will not get better after you marry.

You can only change you.  You can't change him.  He can change him.

Thank you all for your replies. Everything everyone said makes sense. Some serious thinking due on my part it would seem but for now Im focusing on my transformation :)

I wanted to thank everyone for the replies and advice! both were amazing :) we are talking about it and things

seem to be improving somewhat! so we will see , one day at a time lol