Upcoming DS surgery 10/9/14 - I am beyond nervous

I have been a tiny bit nervous since my surgery was scheduled.  As of this morning I am really wound up and questioning everything.  You know the drill:  I should/could do this without surgery, I am afraid of what they might "find", I am scared that I won't succeed, basically fear uncertainty and doubt!!!

Did others have this same kind of trepidation?  How did you deal with it?

I don't know about the ones that I've already had it. But I'm just as nervous as you and I haven't even seen my surgeon yet. I would think it's totally legit rethinking that way because this is a huge lifestyle change forever! But when I think about it, if I could've done this on my own I already would've.

Hang in there you'll get through this

Hi,

I was nervous, anxious and excited before my surgery but there was one thing I was not, I never questioned rather I should  have it done. If there was one thing I learned over all the years of dieting and then gaining it all back it was that I was not able to do this without help. Best of luck with your surgery and have a quick recovery.

Trish

Hi There,

Although I didn't question my decision, I did have those butterflies that were with me up until I went to sleep in the OR. :) It took me eight years to finally be able to have my DS and I was so ready for the surgery. I think it is normal to be nervous--I don't think we would be human if we didn't act this way. Just know I am sending good thoughts and prayers your way with wishes for a good surgery and recovery. Also, remember to be kind to yourself--especially while you are healing.  

Yes, all that was totally normal for me too.

It alternated with a bone-deep excitement that I was going to become THIN!!!!  That was (is) such a huge thought that it would wipe out the doubts for awhile.  What would it be like, I wondered, to walk onto an airplane and not have everybody breath out a sigh of relief when you passed their row?  What would it be like to shop at a regular mall in regular stores with regular people.  What would it be like to buy clothes because I liked their style, not because they mostly fit and didn't make me look like a mountain or have overly-cute patches and stuff?  For most of my life I've only had black stretch pants, I assume as I thin down I may go crazy with colors and fabrics.  I could do the downtown Seattle Segway tour!  I could parachute!!  The world could be my oyster. 

I remember late one night I spent a few hours looking at clothes at stores like Forever 21, Nordstrom, modcloth, REI and tried to decide what "my style" might eventually be.  I would never have guessed this would appeal to me, but it did get me happy and focused on the positive a time or two when I really needed it. 

Hopefully your time will come quickly.  Good Luck!

Oh yeah - most definitely. For the most part, I talked myself down from the fear or out of the doubts - multiple times. 

I think my worst moment was the morning of surgery while we were waiting in Pre-Op. I almost had a breakdown and if I weren't so rational, I might have gotten up and walked away. I started in hard core on questioning what I was about to do to my body, imagining the worst case scenarios, becoming terrified I was going to do this and fail, fear of what I'd feel like after surgery.

Mostly I just took a deep breath and went back over the reasons for doing it. I can lose the weight, but I know I can't maintain it and still live my life. The surgery and re-routing of my digestive system was, in the long run, no more dangerous than what I was doing to my body by being 300+lbs and taking 8 different prescriptions (total of about 20 pills/day). In fact the surgery would be better and could save my kidneys and liver from further damage, which I was on the road to causing with all of the meds and medical problems. Surgeries are done every day. I'd picked my surgeon because of his reputation and skill and because I trusted him to do this - I had to trust that he'd make sure I woke up on the other side (which I did ;)). Failure wasn't going to be an option - because there's no way in hell I was doing this to myself and spending this kind of money and NOT making the most out of my tool. As for the pain - there are meds for that and I'd survive.

In the end it all turned out fine. I'm 20 days out and starting to feel more normal each day (well, aside from drinking all of my food still). My energy is slowly picking up. My ability to do things - like walk around the store or walk my son to school - is increasing and it's getting easier. My lingering pain is pretty minimal, all things considered - though I do need to remind myself to take it a little easier sometimes. I'm also finally below 300 for the first time in over 5 years - and while the weight isn't melting off like I'd imagined (yes, yes, I know - the scale is evil), it is coming off and clothes are starting to fit differently.

So the best advice I have is come up with a pep talk you can give yourself each time you start worrying. Try to keep yourself busy enough that you don't have a lot of time to think about the bad stuff. Start planning your rewards for along the way, thinking about the things you'll be able to do this time next year that may not be possible now. Most of all trust in yourself and that you've done your research and are making the right decision. :)

On the day of surgery - make sure you've got a good support person with you (if possible) - because there's nothing like a hand or a hug to help keep you grounded until it's surgery time.

Good luck! :)

To everyone, thank you so very much.  The support from this site has made all the difference in the world.  Funny I said I was nervous - I must be because I even got my surgery date wrong on the post name!!  My take from everyone is that being nervous is normal AND that I need to keep my eye on the prize - being able to do all of the things that I cannot do now.

Thanks to all of you again, can't wait to meet up on the losers bench!!