Norm Roth.....Still Remembering

This week marks 6 years since Norm Roth lost his life while battle obesity.  The story of my experience with Norm and the impressions he has left on me are found in my past posts below. 

It is true that time heals.  I think the hitch is that maybe it can never completely heal, and maybe its not supposed to.  In the most recent times after Norm's passing my feeling were primarily of sadness at my loss of him and his loss of us.  When that would run it's course then I would see ray of happiness for the times I had, the conversations, and the experiences even though they were brief.  As time has gone on I still think of Norm often but pain or sadness is not my primary feeling.  It feels to me like Norm is a friend living in a distant place who is still the same person I got to know and love but don't get to speak to much.  I see images of him from time to time in people I meet or situations I am in.  Sometimes funny things happen or I make responses that maybe only he would laugh at but I laugh to myself at the time with a secure sense that he would laugh too if he were not in that far away place.  It's like he is still with me just not at the same place at the same time.  I think only the really special people in our lives can live on in us even though contact may not be as frequent as we would like. Norm is sure one of those people to me.

If you knew Norm this will all make sense, if you didn't read up on him a bit below.  I bet the descriptions of him, his big heart, and kind ways will take shape to you in other people you know or have known with the same characteristics.  Norm was the kinda guy that at a big event you would spot across the room after all the glad handing and say to yourself "hey there's Norm".  You would walk right over and be so glad to see him and get to some real things in life while all the fanfare and hype buzzed around the room.  He was the type of person that would leave you with a certain appreciation that all time spent with him was REAL.  We all need more of that. 

I'm thinking of my friend today and though sadness may be the high clouds overhead, right here on the ground the sun is shinning on my memories and reflections of a great man.  You are in my thoughts Norms, and they are good and real.  Take care my friend.  EW 

From Years Past (chronologically, start at the bottom):

It seems hard to believe that those of us who were fortunate enough to know Norm Roth haven't heard his gentle voice in 5 years now. For those who didn't know him he was a fellow DS'r from the Chicago area who lost his life during recovery from heart related issues. Let’s be clear though that those were not Norm's most prevalent heart related issues. Norm’s heart may have struggled medically but it never skipped a beat on the caring EKG. I still think of Norm often as my friendship and short encounter with him is still the icon in my mind for my personal transformation into my current life. I am still happy at the thoughts and laughs that we shared and still sad at happy times when I wish Norm was there. For those of us who have been blessed with a new lease on life you know that one of the most rewarding things you can do is share the energy and joy of that new life with others. I really, really wish Norm was here to be one of the people in my life that I could share my joys with. I have no doubt that his joys would have been memories that would last forever and times that we would look forward to with anticipation.



5 years……amazing how weight loss can accelerate time. I really wish Norm were writing this today, maybe a part of him is through me. I would love to read his take on weight loss 5 years later. I know it would be good. For me, life is good and I will continue to appreciate it and make the most of it in honor of my friend Norm Roth. It only makes sense because my memories and time spent with him are a part of the many elements of good that surround me daily.



If you knew Norm please think of him today and send him your love and prayers. If you didn’t know Norm feel free to read my past entries below (I know there are more but I cant find them) and think of one of the people in your life who shared his qualities, kindness, and sincere caring for others. Think of them for a while and appreciate what they have meant to you. That should put us all on the same page today. I think Norm would like that.



I wish everyone a blessed day and especially my friend Norm Roth, I have no doubt that eternity is serving you well. Until we meet again. EricW







Originally Posted 8/28/08

What is it like to know Norm R for a week? It's with a heavy heart that I would like to share the answer to this question. I met Norm last Tuesday, the night before my procedure in the motel we were both guests at. I asked if I could pick his brain a bit about how it all went and he said sure. In meeting Norm officially his soft, warm smile is quickly contrasted by his catchers met sized hand shake. I knew right away that Norm had a warm heart to go with his kind non threatening appearance. Norm welcomed me into his room where he proceeded to one by one dissolve every fear I had of weight loss surgery. I was impressed with his medical understanding of this procedure combined with his attention to detail.

It wasn't long before I felt comfortable enough with Norm to go straight to the deepest darkest guy code question I had. I asked him what the catheter was like. "Pretty handy" he answered. He told me he had asked to have it left in an extra day to save on trips to the bathroom. That brought on the million dollar question, what’s it like when they pull it? He answered with a single deep laugh saying "well, the feeling is a funny kinda tingle that you would probably pay $5 bucks to feel again on a Friday night". That helped me so much with that particular fear. We went on chatting about post-op life and what to expect. Norm tipped me off to a local medical supply place where he had rented a recliner. He said to make sure to get one because the beds were just not a good night for a big guy.

Not wanting to over stay I told Norm good bye and headed to my room. My next task was to begin my bowel cleansing for the evening. I told my wife that she might want to pass on the fireworks and do some shopping or go to dinner. She took my advice. I let the cleansing begin. It was my first time in cleansing so I was a little surprised just how violent the fireworks were. After a couple hours things slowed down a bit and I was bored. My wife checked in and said she was coming back if I needed anything. I told her I wanted to ask Norm. I rang Norm up and told him I had delivery if he wanted anything. Norm answered and said "Man if she's anywhere near a sugar free Popsicle that would be great". Kelly delivered the Popsicles and spent some time getting to know the same kind and gentle Norm that I had. As she was leaving Norm threw her a pack of moisturizing wipes and said that I might have a few saddle sores by now and would really appreciate them. Man was he right. I swear I was starting to pull slivers from the 80 grit motel roll that I had already used 2/3 of. I wonder now if Norm and I didn't say Aaahhhh at the same time as he opened the Popsicles and I opened the wipes.

The next time I heard from Norm was shortly after I woke up from surgery. He had called Kelly to see how it went. Kelly handed me the phone and Norm said "Eric don't look down man there's a hose coming from your......well you know the rest. We had a few laughs and Norm congratulated me on my new life. The next few days Norm checked on me and Kelly checked on Norm. She took him things at night when she went back to the room and they would visit a while. She even talked a cab driver that we met named Umberto into running some drinks to Norm on Friday morning. Umberto is another "big" friendly guy who did this for free. He also told Kelly what a nice guy Norm was.

When I was discharged I went to a different motel. Norm was having chronic diarrhea and was having a time keeping in enough fluids. I offered to return the cherished wipes but he said he had gotten some in a care package from home. We talked by phone a couple times and he had a strong feeling it was about to run its course. Kelly changed his flight schedule for him and visited him on Sunday. Kelly had to fly out Monday and was sad to leave us both.

Norm knew at that point he was headed in for some IV's and a possible stay. Monday afternoon I moved to the Post Op Recovery place. This is a private run place where Gwen takes great care make sure that you want for nothing. My first night there was great compared to the motels. I called Norm on Tuesday morning to check in and see how he was doing. He told me that there wasn't much change and that they figured he had lost nearly 30 pounds. I jokingly asked him "what's your secret". He said "you don't want to know, I'll probably never sell any books highlighting my method". I told him I wanted to swing by and he said don't be afraid to grab some Snapple Diet and maybe some Adkins Advantage. It sounded like the drink menu at the hospital wasn't all that. On the way over I proposed the idea to Gwen of letting Norm stay with her until he left in trade for my pre-paid days that I was going home early. She agreed and was looking forward to meeting him. When we got to the hospital I asked him how he was doing? He answered with his one laugh grin saying "in & out man, in & out". I introduced him to Gwen and told him about the deal. He was very appreciative but more concerned that another local OH member had moved his bags already. He concern was never for himself but rather that he didn't put anyone out. My bet is that he was always this way. Gwen fetched a tub full of ice and iced down the Snapple. Norm instantly adopted one of the bottles and began rolling it in the ice. The nurse came in and told Norm they were going to do an EKG test, he told her that he hoped the test was multiple choice. That fact that this man could still be joking and making light while 30 pounds dehydrated was a testament to the kind nature that made up this gentle giant. He didn't have a whiny bone in his body.

Once the Snapple was half chilled, Norm grabbed one and said here we go. He popped the cap, took a long drink and said ahhh the little things in life. I told him that he seemed like just the kind of guy who appreciated the little things. He said that he really did. He told me that he had been saving up for a new car and that he had used that money for his surgery. he told me how much that made him appreciate his old car that was now going to be called on a little longer. He told me of a favorite sandwich called "Italian Beef" that he got at Al's or some Italian named place. He told such a convincing story about it that I told him I would come out to Chicago and visit him and break bread at this place. He didn't think it right that I should wait and said he had some way of packing and shipping them. He said he would send Kelly and I a sample when he got home. With his description I could darn near taste it. I was also drooling as he told about the stuffed crust pizza that no one from Washington could even fathom. He laughed and said you'll never go back to your ketchup disks once you've tried a real Italian "PIE". I got the feeling he knew what he was saying.

We laughed for a while and he had to go to the bathroom. He told me he was glad Gwen and I stopped by but that the quality of visit could go down hill fast once he stepped in. I took the hint with a laugh, grew my hand, and gave him a hand shake as we left. I told him to try to get out on Friday so we could share at least a day together at Gwen's place. He said "that would be great man, I'll look forward to it". And we said goodbye.

I'm going to stop for now as my heart is so broken as I reminisce. Forgive my spelling and my grammar in this effort. Fat fingers and sleeping in high school don't make for the best authors. I feel like I have known Norm Roth for a life time. I am truly envious of those of you who have. My heart goes out to all his friends and family who are no doubt struggling with the 5XL hole in your hearts that only Norm could have filled. On the bright side, my life is richer for having known him and I have no doubt that he was graced at spreading the riches. He will always be in my thoughts. Eric




Originally Posted 8/19/09

I can't believe it’s been a year since Norm's passing. Norm was a Chicago area member who had a DS at the same time as me in San Francisco. Norm went into surgery knowing he had serious heart issues but braved the challenges for the possible results.

Norm lost his life in recovery a few days post op. I only knew Norm through a chance meeting in a motel elevator but a few days later he had become a true friend. Being a couple days ahead of me, Norm was able to put all my pre-op fears to rest with his kind and gentle way.

I have no doubt that Norm is greatly missed by his family and friends in the Chicago area as well as those of us on the site lucky enough to get to know him. I wrote a few words about my short friendship with Norm a year ago, but I am too dumb to figure out the search options. For those that have it figured out please take a look and maybe post up a link for those like me. lol

In any case, I am thinking of Norm today and saying a prayer for him and his family. I would invite you all to do the same. Take care. EW




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My memories of Norm's strong voice haven't lessened any in two years (well almost, I will be out next week and wanted to get this in). I have no doubt (and plenty of faith) that Norm is "Livin Large" in eternity. I know that even though Norm was never able to realize the joys of WLS and the results, he probably does share in the daily joys of those of us who he considered friends.

I still think of Norm often and try my best to send him good vibes as I get to have my WOW moments living a new life. I find comfort in that knowing that Norm is the kind of person that would take as much joy in seeing someone else's blessings as he would in receiving his own.

I keep Norm in my happy thoughts, my sad thoughts, and most of all my curious thoughts as I experience things for the first time and especially for the first time as a healthy person. I can't help but think "how would Norm have liked that" or "I wonder if Norm would be game to give this a try". I think his world here on earth would have expanded greatly with the gift of health.

My personal world has been expanded by being able to say I got to know him if even for a short time. As another year passes, that makes 2 years that I am glad that I got to have Norm as a friend. My thoughts and prayers go out to his Chicago area and OH online family and friends who must be missing him greatly. I hope all of you are able to feel his big/warm smile on you from time to time as you live your lives. I know I sure do.

I'm sending good vibes your way my friend and I will be forever greatful for the kindness you shared with me and the friendship that I still have with you. You are missed. Until we meet again.....Eric

      

Thanks for sharing Eric, it's nice that you still think of him.  I hope you remember him with joy rather than sorrow as it really sounds like he'd want you to remember the good stuff.  He really must've been special for you to still think of him after so long after having known him such a short amount of time.

I sent up prayers for his loved ones.

Lovely thoughts, Eric. I think about Norm every time I open my mouth to tell people about the DS, or even bariatric surgery. I want them to take it very seriously because of the risks involved. 

Since losing Norm, I have had a certain amount of survivors' guilt. After all, I was one of the rah-rah people who cheered him on and extolled the virtues of the surgery to him in person and online.

But I remind myself that he went into this with his eyes wide open, knew the risks, and was desperate to improve this aspect of his life. I think we all have to be at that point if we are to make this big decision.

Sometimes I think about what he would be doing now, how he would be enjoying his life. It feels very unfair. I wish I could talk to him, at least one more time.