Help, my cousin is dying!
I'm so very sorry your cousin is going through this! And glad you are fighting to help her.
I'm thinking along the same lines as Pete. While I don't doubt for a moment your account of how badly the surgeon treated her, you are in a tough position in the the resources in your area, as far as DS surgeons goes, are meager. In other words, he's the only DS game in town, such as he is.
I'm sure, if your cousin went back to him, he would be just as condescending/demeaning/offensive or whatever he was. But sometimes you just have to put up with something like that to get to where you need to go. Your cousin could go into any consultation with him KNOWING what she is in for in terms of his attitude and just let him get whatever he feels compelled to say out of his system and then get him to do a revision. She could even try to nip him in the bud by telling him, before he can open his mouth, that she already knows what he thinks of her, doesn't need to hear it again, and now let's just talk about my medical care, shall we?
Or, if you could, maybe you could go to see him with her, since she might not be up to pulling this off. It's difficult when you feel like crap, but the bottom line is that there is a very specific procedure than she apparently needs to have done and he knows how to do it.
A little story from my own life - way back when, I had a tussle with my insurer to get approval for my DS. After finally getting approval, having never met the surgeon, I got worried. What if I finally got to my long awaited consult and didn't like the guy? I wrote this privately to someone here, and she wrote back with some great advice. She said, "Girl, you don't have to marry him, just get him to do your surgery."
Your cousin doesn't have to marry this guy. she doesn't have to like him. He doesn't have to like her. Just get him to do her surgery.
Larra
I think the nipping n the bud comment is the best way to go! And yes, many docs and surgeons can be true ********! But there are more that are not. I have a very low tolerance for the former.
All posts that I make on this site, any forum, are a result in my having experience and caring for anyone having to go through life as an obese person. If you have medical issues, please see your doctor for medical advice.
Karen
Great news today! The G I surgeon she saw last week has been working with Dr. Valentine all weekend. It turns out Dr.Oakley recently retired and Dr. Valentine has taken over his DS patients and surgeries. He is pretty new to the DS and I know little about him. Anyways, after reviewing her labs and records, Dr. Valentine feels that there may have been a mistake made with her common channel. His office will be calling her in the morning so she can schedule to go up and meet him and run some tests to get a better grasp on what exactly needs done. We are super excited and hope that this will be the answer to our prayers. He seems very willing to help as much as he can! Thank you all for your support and advise. We will be asking about the medication two of you mentioned also.
If all else fails, they say Dr. Ungson at Mexicali Bariatric is the best DS surgeon in MX. It may be an option if she has to self pay and at your last resort.
HW: 478+ Consult: 478 Pre Op: 453 SW: 438 CW: 293 (7-20-15) GW: 225 LBS Gone: 185
VSG with Dr. T. Ryan Heider at the Center for Surgical Weight Loss at Lake Norman 11-6-14
I'm sorry but I have to agree with Gwen some doctors have a God complex. Unless they know they are going to get paid they don't want anything to do with your problems and some are just plain old fashion ******** with a very poor bedside manner. I say this as a nurse. I have seen it first hand. Don't get me wrong I love a lot in fact most of the doctors that I work with but there are some that make me cringe. Example - a patient comes to the ER with a problem with his genitals.(the poor man pulled back his foreskin to wash and it wouldn't go back sorry if this is TMI) the ER doctor tried several different techniques and it would go back either so he called a specialist. This was at 2am the poor man was in excruciating pain so the ER doctor did not want to make him wait. (We had given him pain medication with very little effect). This specialist was on call and came in but was mad as a hell. He walked it looked at the patient never even said hello or explained what he was going to do. He grab a scalpel and sliced the mans foreskin. Th poor man he turned white as a sheet and vomited immediately. He didn't even use any freezing. His is an example of an asshole. There was no need for him to act like this just because he was called to do his job. I am by no means saying that all doctors or even that a lot of doctors act like this but they all have bad days and some just act like this routinely, by the way this was not the first unpleasant encounter I had with this doctor. I'm so sorry the doctor treated her this way and that things look so grim for her, despite her mistakes she does not deserve to pay for her mistakes with her life. I'm afraid other than this support I have no other suggestions as I'm just a pre-oper myself. I will pray for Sarah and hope you find her the help she needs. Good-Luck
Referral May 14th/14, HRRH Orientation Aug/18th/14, Surgeon (Dr.Starr) Appt Nov/28th/14, Clinic Nurse,Social Worker, Dietitian Dec/15th/14, Dr.Glazer Feb/5th/15, OptiFast Feb/16th/15, PATTS Feb/17th/15, Surgery March 2nd/15 HW 230, SW 202, CW 130
