4 Days 'Til I Start My Pre-Op

I started the journey to DS back in January, and it's been a long six months, but now that I'm 18 days before my surgery, and only four (!!) before my pre-op liquid diet starts, I'm starting to get some serious jitters. It's starting to seem very real now. This isn't just talk. I'm not sure if I'm making the right choice.

I wouldn't say that I'm unhappy with my body as I am. I've been overweight my whole life, and I'm scared of the changes, but at 20 years old I have way more aches and pains than I'm supposed to, and am on track to some serious health issues in the next ten or so years if I don't do something. I've tried more traditional means of weightloss more times than I can count, but obviously it hasn't worked.

Still, I'm really not sure how to feel now that the surgery is happening. I love food! I love to eat, and it plays a huge role in my social life. I guess that sounds silly. It's not like I'll never eat again, but I think overall I'm scared of the changes the surgery will make to my life. I'm trying to focus on the positive. Most of the people in my life are very excited for me, but they aren't the ones that have to go through all this, so it's easy to them. I just hope I don't wake up after the surgery and have an "oh my god what did I just do" moment.

Am I having a normal level of jitters? Anybody else out there who's gotten the surgery who wasn't unhappy with themselves before? If it weren't for the impending health issues, I would have no problems with being my 330lb self. 

Hi, My name is Susan and 9 years ago I weighed in at 353lbs and found things really hard to do, my mobility was what had made me decide I needed to this, health reasons to, bu****ching my husband have to do everything was hard for me. I was scared I thought I was going to die, honestly I didn't think I would make it through. I ended up with 5 weeks in the hospital with complications, so I did have a rough start but I made it and I am so happy. My health is amazing, playing with my grandkids, going to the gym, hanging out has been great. I take my vitamins and try to eat right ( not perfect) I can eat anything, but mostly portion size is a bit less. Getting my bowels under control is my biggest struggle, but that is my fault.

This surgery is amazing and you will get lots of support on here.

Hope this helps, it really is a great thing

Susan

Hi you may enjoy this food porn thread with lots of pics http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/DS/4452758/Shameless-saucy -food-porn-photo-whoring-a-k-a-9-month/#36826081 it shows life post DS can still be great.

I wish you all the best for your surgery and I look forward to hearing from you on the dark side!! 

Love your screen name!

I'm old.  59 to be exact.  And let me tell you if I could change just ONE thing in my life, I would have had the DS at your age or even younger.  I was always heavy and I thought I understood the limitations 'fat' put on my life.  But I truly didn't until I wasn't fat anymore.  Life is so much easier when you fit in everywhere.  Lawn furniture, restaurant booths, planes, cars are no longer an issue.  Plus at your age, you won't have as many skin issues as many of us oldies.  I salute you for being smart enough to do this!

Yes, your whole life is going to change.  Including your whole identity and how you see yourself.  It can be scary at times.  But not as scary as spending the rest of your life fat and getting fatter.  And as you age fat becomes more of a prison and you find yourself watching from the sidelines instead of participating in life.  The DS will be your passport to living a normal life.

Surgery itself is frightening and now it's best to concentrate on the benefits!  You lived life as a heavy person and did OK.  Now you get to see how the other half lives.  What could be better than that?

I have an acquaintance, female, who has to be over 500lbs.  Has been heavy for most of her adult life and she is about 7 years younger than me.  Her knees are both blown out and she is too heavy to get them replaced.  She has CHF(congestive heart failure) and a host of other problems.  She lives on disability because she can't work.  I will be surprised if she lives another 5 years.  She posts on FB all the time, mostly old pictures of her surfing and racing cars and motorcycles.  All active things she hasn't been able to do in probably decades.  She lives in the past.  Today she can hardly leave her condo.  She also grieves that she has never found a partner who will stick around.  But she has a big heart and she's a good person.  I told her about the DS.  She was totally freaked out because I can eat like anyone else.  She was only familiar with the RNY and the Band.  But she was quick to tell me she ate right and said she should be accepted by society at any weight.  Hey, I agree with her but it's going to be her epitaph.  The bottom line is she would rather face her own early death than change.  I don't wish her life on anyone!

And that brings us to eating.  I CAN eat anything you can eat.  We could go out to lunch and you would never know I had the DS unless I told you.  I am healthy as a horse and have never had a single issue.  I am also not skinny(dammit).  I look like an average woman my age and I'm still always trying to lose a few pounds.  I do eat protein first and take my vites every day.  And I was so wishing I would be one of those who got really thin.  And I have never thrown up either.

And BTW, anyone who has been heavy most of their life at the young age of 20 has serious metabolic issues.  You will never be able to maintain and keep weight off over time.  The DS will help level the playing field for you.  Most likely you are a superabsorber like me.

Best of luck!

Thanks everyone for the words of encouragement.
I keep trying to remind myself that afterwards it won't feel like I've had to make sacrifices. I'm so used to that whole "diet" mindset that tells you that you have to go hungry to make progress, and that you have to give up all your favorite foods to lose weight. I've heard from pretty much every DSer that they don't feel like they're making sacrifices, and I guess that's one of those things I'm not fully going to believe until it happens to me. 

I'm also trying to focus on the positives! I'll be able to ride rollercoasters again! I'll be able to shop anywhere I damn well please and not have to spend an arm and a leg while doing it. I'll have an easier time being active. And hopefully I can avoid scary health problems for a long, long, long time. 

And hey, if this journey was an easy one, everyone would be lining up to do it. This next month or two is going to be difficult, but it'll get easier after that.

I think that facing any major surgery can be terrifying, and this is major.  The questions and apprehension you are experiencing are so normal.  I was 60 when I had it and wish I'd done it years earlier.  It hurt to walk, move; my cholesterol and blood pressure were high.  And I looked awful.  I hated buying the large clothes sizes and squeezing into seats.  I, too, have fought the weight battle all my life and had done all kinds of weight loss programs only to see the lbs come back and they brought more with them.  I couldn't wait to have the surgery, but I had a lot of concern about what my eating style would be afterward.  I had absolutely no complications from surgery.  I'll be honest, the month or so afterward is the worst because you are still on liquids and soft foods as your stomach and insides heal.  Each surgeon seems to have different requirements for how long those stages last.  But you likely won't want much food anyway.  Much of that time I had to force myself to eat.  Each person having the surgery has a common problem - we love food and love to eat.  It's what got us there to begin with.  So it's natural to wonder what we can eat (or more importantly, what we won't be able to eat) after this surgery.  DS allows a lot of freedom in that, and there is no dumping syndrome!  Who wants to throw up? I wondered if I'd be able to eat mashed potatoes again.  Or a cookie.  Yes, to those and the other foods. I now find that even though I can eat anything, there are some things that just do not appeal to me.  Even one or two bites of some foods are all I want.  Our stomach capacity is much smaller, so quantities of food we can consume are a lot smaller.    Please don't worry about what you can't eat, look forward to discovering the clothes section that has the smaller, cuter clothes.  Look forward to feeling better, more energetic, and knowing that you look and feel sooooo much better.   There are no sacrifices in this.  You will gain confidence and a healthier you, not pounds.  You are right, it is your journey.   You're gonna love the trip and its benefits.

Just an update.
Conquered day 1 of 14 on the all-liquid pre-op diet. I've got to do 3 "shakes" a day - mixed with water. For those unfamiliar, my surgeon requires his patients to do two weeks of meal replacement protein shakes and nothing else to drink that's over 5/cal a serving. I was also required to get the powders from him, for whatever reason. I guess for uniformity? I don't know. 

More to the point: The powders he gives out are absolutely disgusting. I think I'd be handling this not eating thing better if the shakes were bearable. There's just no hiding the chalkyness of 41g of Protein and all the other nutrients in them. And they taste rather bitter. 

Anybody got tips?