Hanging out at 219: Not a good Day

So, for the last 2.5 weeks I have been stuck at 219 pounds, and I am experiencing extreme anxiety that the DS is not going to work.  I know this seems absured, but I have dieted most of my life and lost and gained; it is a real fear for me.  It is funny, when I got on the scale and it said 219, I did the same thing I did pre-op when the scale did not live up to expectations.  I had this overwhelming urge to eat, but I can't.  I ended up going to the grocery store and just walking through looking at all the food I used to comfort myself with, and then I sat in the parking lot (in my car) and cried.  I felt ashamed... as if I were some type of junkie who can't get a fix.

Then I realized I used to get some type of emotional fix from eating... like a release, and I don't experience that anymore... so I am kind of at a loss of what to do.  NOTHING taste good to me anymore. I used to love pizza, now the sight of it makes me sick to my stomach.  I am 2 days less than 6 weeks out, so eating a burger is not an option, and even then I am sure only two bites is the max I can take.  I feel guilty that I throw away and waste so much food because I can't eat it all.  I try smaller portions, but even that goes to waste.  I needed to vent and just get this out. Im frustrated and scared that I will only loose 30 pounds throughout this process.

I hear ya, loud and clear, Girlfriend!  I have been experiencing the same thing.  I have been stuck at 230 for the past 2 weeks or so.  It is frustrating.  We had our surgeries around the same time.  And yes, we have lost our friend and security blanket in food.  We have to deal with our emotions on our own....scary!  And the food....most of the time I'm not hungry, but when I am, 2 bites does it, and even if I wrap it up and take it home, into the tra**** eventually goes.

I, personally, know I haven't been doing what I'm supposed to....I can't stand the protein shakes, but I also know I'm not getting the protein I need just from food.  I've also slowed down on exercise already.  I feel myself sliding into the "tomorrow, I'm definitely gonna get back on track tomorrow" routine.

From what I've been reading around here, this isn't all that uncommon.  Vent all you want.  Just know you're not alone.  We'll hang in there, and our victories will come!

Right now it will just take time.  Relax, breathe, do the right stuff and wait.  Don't even get on the scale till the 4th of July.

When you miss food, go for a walk or do something physical instead.  Something pleasant.

If I remember correctly you just graduated and you are inbetween lives.  And here you are inbetween skinny and fat too.  Lots of change in your life right now.  Find just a little more patience and be good to yourself.

 Stay away from carbs and don't worry about throwing away food.  You will get the hang of all this.  Always ask for the doggie bag.  It's not just leftovers, for you it's another meal or two.

IT sucks but it will get better - just remember you now have a tool that is going to help you. Stick with the protein and liquids. I totally get the store thing. My first trip I had to wander down every aisle looking at the things I used to buy. I didn't have a taste for them but  I wanted them anyway. The mind is a strange place (at least mine is :) ) I did end up buying a package of cookies but I'm happy to say they are still unopened. One of these weeks they are headed for the garbage heap and screw the waste for now.

First, breathe.  You are not the one freak of nature for whom this won't work and you haven't broken it.  Go back to the DS facts website and re-read the passage about the saber tooth tiger and stalls.  That is where you are at girl.  That's all.   You are right to be skeptical of the process - after all we have been through hell and been promised miracle cures if only we paid this much and did such and such a thing.  This is different.  Your body has been altered and it will work.  You just need time to learn to trust your DS.

I too felt very lost at the beginning - especially when dealing with stress. I couldn't eat comfort foods, I couldn't have a drink with my friends and ***** about our day and I couldn't smoke to boot.  You do go through a grieving process in the first little while and then a couple of things happen.  One, you start noticing the weight loss more and more.  You start feeling better and its easier to do things and last but not least, you are able to tolerate a wider variety of food even if its not a big quantity.  You want a hamburger then make yourself a hamburger - just don't have the bun.  Make one pattie, cook it, cut it in half and freeze half.  If that is too big then cut that in half and have a bite for lunch, a bite for snack an a bite for dinner.   

It will get better.  Hang in there.