Smiles, Progress and Rowdy House Parties

Wednesday I can have soft foods!!! Woo Hoo.  I did have a little setback and was hospitalized overnight Thurday (Dehydration, and Pancreas enzymes elevated).  However, I feel great. I went out for the first time (In like forever) last night.  Supposed to be a swanky Roof Top party, however since someone put it on twitter... ended up being a 20 something free food house party.  Oh, well the important thing is I felt good enough about myself to put on a dress and get out and meet up with some college friends. I did not have the constant "Im too fat... How do I look" devil on my shoulder.  Even though I am down to the weight I was last summer, I felt better about myself and really smiled.  I have not REALLY smiled for a long time.  A week before my surgery my MA was confered and during the Hooding Ceremony I was so embarrassed... it is painful to look at the pics as the feelings of insecurity flood me... Now, not even 1 month later I see a new me.  I know its a work in progress, so the elation I feel today I am going to enjoy (been a long time since I could enjoy something that was not food). I still have the journey ahead of me and know that there are going to be bad days.  But, just for today I am going to smile. 

You look great!

Dang!  You look fab. 

At that stage, I was still wearing my PJs, my hair standing on end, slouching around in my slippers, whining and sniveling about this and that.  Even the dog was starting to slouch around behind me....  I wasn't up for putting on a dress, or being social. 

You are doing great.