Very Ackward!

I got the ok from my PCP to go forward to surgery yesterday.  I am scheduled for May 30th, whoohooo.  So I broke down and told my boss I will be out for 4 weeks (my surgery is open and I have paid time off so Dr. agreed to give 4 weeks to make sure I am ready). 

Here is the conversation.  Me: I just wanted to let you know I am going to be off on medical for 4 weeks.  Boss:  (With headlight look in his eyes) Ok.  Me: May 29th will be my last day.  Boss: (still with headlight look in his eyes), I hope everything is all right.  Me: I will be.  Long silence, more long silence.  I went back to my desk. 

This is going to be a fun the next couple of weeks trying to get him ready for my leave.  Now once all the noisy bodies find out in the department I am going out then the fun will really begin.  I have decided not to tell anyone at work, not because I care what anyone thinks.  I just don't want any negativity before surgery with everyone's thoughts and opinions.  I have decided only to tell family and friends who support me.

Looking forward to everyone's support on my journey to a new me!

~ P

It is so amazing how nosey people are at work when it comes to this kind of thing, lol. Congrats on your surgery date!

So here's the thing - if you want to keep this secret, tell NOBODY...not even your closest coworker, because we all have a couple of colleagues that we spill to.  Hopefully you will be open and receive much support like I did.  

Your next step is to meet with boss to discuss what they want or what  you plan to accomplish to be ready for your leave.  It makes for good appearances and understanding if your leave goes a little longer.  Also, if you have short-term disability, see if you can sign up for that, too

I agree, I would keep this to myself also.  Your very wise in doing so.  My husband spilled the beans to his sister, and now I know his side of the family knows.....uhg....  I wish he had'nt done that.

I speak from experience.  Don't tell anyone at work what the surgery is for.  As long as they don't know the specifics, they can't hold it against you. 

People tend to see bariatric surgery as elective, like plastic surgery.  Or that you would not need it if you could just learn to push yourself away from the dinner table...  There are a lot of deep seated discriminatory feelings that crop up about fat people and bariatric surgeries.  So don't give them any ammunition.

I told me boss and co-workers what I was having done.  My surgery went well, but then my incision became hugely infected - and my boss was on my back every other day about coming back to work full time - in between my trips to the ER to try to find an antibiotic to kill the 3 different strains growing in my incision!  I was out on disability, and people at work grinched about it every step of the way, and insisted I come in and do payroll and critical issues.  Unbelievable. 

People think that you are not ill, you don't need the surgery, and it's not medically necessary - so they tend to have little sympathy if you don't bounce back immediately. 

GREAT STORY, for anyone in this situation.  Ive heard a few others on here that were simular.  I remember one where they got mad because she used the bathroom so much, so she didnt get to take her usual breaks to make up for how long she was in the bathroom.  They started doing alot of mean stuff to her, to aucturally make her quit.  Teasing on top of it.  She had a heck of a time because she was being bullied at work, and trying to recouver, and she couldnt quit because she need the job for the medical insurance.  I cant remember what happened, but it wasnt good.......I dont know how people can treat each other that way...

On May 3, 2013 at 4:51 PM Pacific Time, jashley wrote:

I speak from experience.  Don't tell anyone at work what the surgery is for.  As long as they don't know the specifics, they can't hold it against you. 

People tend to see bariatric surgery as elective, like plastic surgery.  Or that you would not need it if you could just learn to push yourself away from the dinner table...  There are a lot of deep seated discriminatory feelings that crop up about fat people and bariatric surgeries.  So don't give them any ammunition.

I told me boss and co-workers what I was having done.  My surgery went well, but then my incision became hugely infected - and my boss was on my back every other day about coming back to work full time - in between my trips to the ER to try to find an antibiotic to kill the 3 different strains growing in my incision!  I was out on disability, and people at work grinched about it every step of the way, and insisted I come in and do payroll and critical issues.  Unbelievable. 

People think that you are not ill, you don't need the surgery, and it's not medically necessary - so they tend to have little sympathy if you don't bounce back immediately. 

------------------------------------

I agree about the "elective" opinion.  I don't think normies really understand how hard it is to lose weight when you're severely obese.  I tell people, put on a 150lb. bodysuit for a week, then tell me how much you've gotten done, how much you hurt, and how exhausted you are at the end of that week.

If it was a matter of putting the fork down, so to speak, then EVERYONE would be thin.  Metabolisms, genetics, health disorders, food addiction, emotions ... all of these come into play when trying to lose weight.

The DS is a life SAVING procedure, and it's a ***** to go through.  It's not the same as breast implants.

i had revisions surgery fro RNY to DS. My boss knew as I have known her for 11 years and of course my family.  Nobody else though. I had complications and was out for 14 weeks. By the time it was time to go back to work I had lost 50 pounds and 3 sizes. I was so stressed about what to tell people. I obsessed about it almost constantly.  I discussed this fear with my support group and consensus was do not say a thing. So I didn't and you know nobody really asked about it. I have received positive feedback. Most people are so self absorbed it may not be an issue.

It's your personal business period. Good luck with your surgery.

Best

Whit

DO NOT TELL ANYONE!!! EVEN YOUR BOSS!!!

I was open with my Boss, Before I knew it, people were asking me questions I didn't even know these people.  People would come up to me in the cafeteria "You're that girl".  I had 2 co-workers that were the most negative in the world before and after my surgery.  I work in a hospital.  When I was hospitalized, it was I told you it was a bad idea (I never asked for their opinion).  I work in a hospital which is a medium size. I am in a position of coordinating so I tend to be "in the know" and "know the people".  Once I was hospitalized, the secret was out.  It's ok.  When I do move away (and I will in the next year), I will be extremely selective with those whom I decide to share.  

This last 17 days I was in the hospital.  Even the EVS people brought me a plant.  The kindness of the whole hospital is that of compassion.  They've seen me pass out in the hall, seem me running to the bathroom.   Dr's I didn't even know offered to help.  It was amazing!  However, even with all that, I prefer that it be private.  It is a private hell I've been through.  So, all things considered.  Be wise of your choices of who you tell.

Good luck!