Mind games...Is this surgery REALLY going to work for me????

Its amazing the way the mind can be at times.  Im definatly having a CRAZY day.  Surgery is in nine days. The countdown is on.  I must have to much time on my hands to over think everything.  I know this is normal, but I can hardly stand that i do this to myself....uhg.  Can I really do this?  Will I really loose weight?  Wonder if something happens?  Expenses?  Taking vitamins for life?  How much skin will be left?  Will my gerd get better or worse?  Will I absorb my Synthroid the same after DS?  On and On and On.  I need to go to bed is what I need to do .......Sorry just venting.....

I think you might be going through the 2-week freak. Totally normal. Hang in there!

--gina

Oh boy! I can relate. My surgery is tomorrow and I'm freaking. Major mom hit it on the nose. It's been the 2 week freak for me as well. Nonetheless, I'm taking the plunge to the dark side. Good luck you are not alone.

You will do great, and you will loose the weight! At the end of the day it's about health and any weight you can get off will make you a healthier person. Although there may be someone says they didn't panic a little at some point, I think for the most part we all had at least moments of what am I doing?! Just keep reminding yourself why you made this decision in the first place!

Not trying to be negative here, as I know I am in the minority.  I wanted to cancel 3 days before the day before and the day of... I wished I would have listened to my gut.  Yes, I've lost weight but the complications and now issues are not worth it.  I'd like to have a life to live back!

I just being honest.  I would never recommend this surgery to anyone other than someone who is diabetic or is 500+ lbs.

It's been the worst 9 months of my entire life and I HATE IT that I did this to myself everyday.

Today is a really bad issue day.

Good luck with your journey.  We all make our own decisions and have to live with them as I am mine.

The problem with this surgery is that until you have it... NO ONE can tell you how your body is going to react.  There are those that have a rather uneventful easy time and then there are those like me who issues just keep getting worse.

I'm on more medicine now than I ever have been in my life!!!  I hate it everyday!!!

 

Oh A.C.  Im sooo sorry youve had a rough time of it.  You can tell you really have.  Ive been on here alot in the past few months.  Could you be the one that had to have the feeding tube, "among other things", for a really long time?  If you are, I remember some of it, and I can see why you feel the way you do.  The thing I tell myself is if there are to many complications, or severe vitiman, and iron lose that I can not control, that I can always revise back, "minus the stomach"...   Was gerd one of the problems for you?  I already have it and control it with prilosec, but I worry about it getting worse....

I didn't have a feeding tube.  I've been in the hospital a total of 5 times since my surgery.  The last 2 were with Diver.

My GERD is worse.  In fact, I am having an EGD this coming Tuesday to see what is up.  I was taking 2 Nexium's a day then if I needed something in between I took Tagamet. Generic to boost it.

The Dr gave me Carafate to help the middle of the night burn but it seems to be worse with it so I stopped taking it.

2 weeks ago I started taking 2 tablespoons of Raw Unfiltered Vinegar on an empty stomach before bed, then drink water.  It's helping more than anything.

I also have Diverticulitis (had it before surgery).  Now, the CT scan 2 weeks ago showed Colitis.

When speaking with the surgeon, PCP, GI, ... I asked the question, Since my stools are so acidic from Malabsorption, could it be playing havoc on the lining of my colon now.  Each one of them thinks its a very strong possibility.

I went in for a sleeve and came out with this.  I bought into everything the surgeon and his office staff said.  I have been compliant (my bloodwork proves it).  I take in my protein, supplements and everything.  I've got a handle on this surgery, My Hema said I do a great job with my labs. (Although I have K1 problems at the moment).  I had PCOS (considered pre-diabetic) , Arthritis and Asthma. I did not have any high blood pressure or any other Co-Morbities.  I took 2 pills a day for my PCOS.  I took Ambien to sleep.  Now, I have so many bottles next to my bed.  It's overwhelming.

My advice before having this surgery is this:

1. Do a lot of soul searching "Why do I want this surgery?"  Is it because of health reasons, vanity.  Let me tell you this, being thin does not make life great!  It's simply easier to buy clothes and people are more open when a person is thin rather than obese.

2.  If you have the Digestion issues now, your digestive system is going to be anatomically changed forever.  Yes, a reversal can be done but it's going to be hell.  I thought like you, I can always have it reversed.  Oh my, finding the right surgeon.  If money were no issue, I'd go to Dr K, Dr R or Dr M to get it reversed.  It is an issue as well as my insurance.  So, don't think like that. 

3.  I had protein shakes everyday for 6 months prior to surgery - just 2.  Every morning, and then usually at lunch.  None of the protein I could take prior to surgery would work after surgery.   I had a terrible time and spent a fortune finding one that worked.  Settling on Unjury.  Which still I spend roughly between $125-$136 each month just on my protein .  That is so I can keep my protein levels up.  I used 5-6 scoops daily.  Then there are the supplements.  I do bloodwork every 2 months now.  I'm staying on top of it all.  It's expensive.

4.  So, if you think you are automatically going to get healthy, that is not necessarily true.  Because this surgery is a Your Mileage May Vary.  It may bring up things (which any weight loss can) that were dormant because of the fat.

5.  I will eventually have a reversal, I have made up my mind.  I'm petrified of it.  Yes, I admit it!  A girl had the sleeve done at my work the month after mine and I've lost 50 more pounds than her.  I only a 30 more to go.  Was it worth it to me?  NO!  If I had it to do over again, I'd do just the sleeve.

I understand the "helpless" feeling of trying everything to lose weight.  I truly get it.  I would like to have my life back.  The quality of life this is for me is not a way to live.  I have horrific bathroom issues, if I increase the fat intake, it's like a horror movie.

As for meds, they are a YMMV.  All of my Dr's think I malabsorb at a greater rate than most DSr's.  I can only take small pills, because if it is a larger pill it goes right through me and is seen in the bowl.  So, I take triple the dose of Flagyl as other DSrs I know.

You may have to adjust your synthroid and it may take time to figure it all out.  Nexium is time released, that is why I take 2 of them.  It is too expensive, I got on the program because it's not covered under my insurance.  Protonix didn't work. 

I hate the bathroom issues.  I've done it all, I don't get enough fat in as it is because it makes me sick.

I take Zofran anytime I'm going to be in the car more than 30 minutes otherwise I get car sick (which I never did before)

Really write all the "Why's down on a Sheet of Paper"  then wright down "What do I want to accomplish with this surgery, and what will it change in my life"

Good luck!

 

I remember going through this same freak out.  Will I be able to keep up with the vitamins?...What if I'm one of the very few who don't survive through the surgery?...What if I have major complications afterwards?...What if I do all of this and still not lose weight???... 

But if we allowed the "what ifs" of life to prevent us from taking risks to better ourselves, we would never get anywhere.  There will always be "what ifs".  However, I had to get pass it and just DO IT because I felt the DS would give me the best chance to finally get my weight under control.  What you are experiencing mentally right now is normal. 

I'm only 6 months out but my life has been drastically changed for the better!  I'm so glad I made the tough decision to go through with the DS.  It was my 1st surgery EVER, so of course I was a little scared, but it is definitely paying off for me.  I hope it does the same for you!

Thanks for the words of encouragement.....Im starting to feel better today.  Yesterday was the worst.  I aucturally felt I was going into a panic attack, and took an ativan, that I had left over from a dental procedure from last year....lol  It kind of knocked the "freak out" right out of me.....Im ok now......Thanks again....  P.S.  I got one left, just in case.....lol

Hang in there buddy!