Tuesday, March 12th Surgery Date!!

In 4 days I'll be getting my DS done!  I swear, Dr. Roslin's office made this happen at light speed...I barely had everything in, and had a date before I'd even gone to my last PCP visit.  Now, everything is done, and I've bought my Poo-Pouri and vitamins.  I've set my family up with 3 weeks of pre-made dinners.  I've scheduled caregivers for my kids, and I'm doing everyone's laundry this weekend.  Now I just have to pack my hospital bag, and bid a fond farewell to some of my favorite foods...not binging, but they're carby, and I know I'll be done with coco bread for good.  I've even argued down my Mother, who insists I should go another round on the "diet & exercise" ride.  I am so done with that!!

Now I'm just here...looking back on the road that brought me here, and really feeling sad.  Sad that my body refuses to relinquish a single calorie, and holds onto every pound of fat with a vise grip.  Sad that I need surgery in order for my body to work the way it's supposed too.  Angry that even after all of this, negative people in my life will still insist that I just needed to "diet & exercise" one more time....even though I've regained the 100lbs I'd lost from "diet & exercise", PLUS another 20lbs after pregnancy, and after having children the scale refuses to move At All.  Terrified that I'm trading my relative good health, for complications and death.

Mostly I feel excited.  Excited to be free of the exhausting wheel of diet & exercise, and scales that inch upwards, and criticisms about my body, inquiries into my diet, suggestions on what I could do better, and the ubiquitous title of "Big Gurl".   Excited about buying clothes in a Store again, and not feeling ironic when I buy a pair of "skinny" jeans.  Excited to try, and Then buy...instead of being stuck with clothing that doesn't look the best, but not worth returning to wait for an exchange shipment.  I'm excited to be able to look in a mirror, and see myself again!!  I haven't seen myself in 10 years.  So excited to be getting the DS!!   Tuesday, I'll be crossing over to the dark side...wish me luck! 

COngrats and Good Luck on your journey!

Good Luck. I will be joining you soon on the other side ( 4/1). 

Good luck to you as well!  See you on the other side!

WooHoo!  Congratulations!

--gina

Congrats, and good luck on your procedure and new life following it.

Congragulations! I am so happy for you! You said EVERYTHING I am feeling and thinking. This is such a tough but necessary decision for us to make. I have pondered and wracked my brain over the things I could have done differently, chastised myself for ever letting myself get to this point,  having second thoughts about having the surgery then realizing that if I want to have any quality of life that I need to do this and worrying about the quality of life I will have when I am older for the decision I am making now. UGH- in the end I know that I am making the right choice and will be happy and grateful to be on the other side of all of this too. I will be grateful to once again have the health and well being that I have longed for. 

So, yay for you- you already know you have made  the right choice- now, lets just get er done!

My surgery is on the 19th- a week after yours so please keep us all posted here so we know how you are doing.

Wishing you all the luck in the world!

Sharon

Congrats to you too!  I'll definitely keep everyone posted on my post-op experience, since it was reading the experiences of others that gave me the courage to move forward with getting the DS.  Thank you to everyone who has shared their journey, and I fully intend to pay it forward as well. :)