Telling People You Had WLS?

I told everyone.  I worked in an office full of fat women and losing weight was always a topic of conversation.  Anyone who was successful at losing weight was dissected over and over by the rumor mill.  Also a bunch of people had gone before me and had surgery.  I just figured it was better to have everyone talking to me rather than behind my back.

Most of my family is dead so that was a moot point.  I have some relatives out there but I haven't seen them in decades.

I ended up telling some people I had surgery because they were worried about me.  One day the checker at the grocery store said she was sorry I had cancer.  So I told her about the surgery just to dispel the cancer rumor.

Once upon a time, I had a friend and co-worker who was having breast implant surgery.  She was a very private person and was planning on telling no one.  I told her she was nuts to think she was going to come back to work with a new chest and no one would notice or talk about the change.  My advice to her was to be open about it.  She decided to take my advice and ended up making a lot of new friends.  We also learned that probably 1/4 of the women in the office had implants already!

In my mind it was a simple choice.  People will talk.  You are either more comfortable with them talking about you or to you.

I had no problem "going public" with my DS.

Obviously, when your body starts to change during weight loss, most people think it is because of some dreaded illness. I live in a small city, where people within your acquaintance circle pretty much knows everybody that you know.

I wanted to proactively silence the rumor mill that I had cancer, AIDS, or any other dreaded illness that causes dramatic weight loss.

I also think of myself as an ambassador for the DS, and when people asked how I lost weight, I wanted to be sure that they knew a gastric bypass is different from the DS, and for those who were looking into WLS, I wanted them to know that there is something else that works far better than RNY.  In fact, I just talked to a church member who has a failed RNY,.We met at a coffee house and talked, with all of my diagrams and information.  I even gave her handouts to take to her doctor, and the contact information for my surgeon and the COE where I had my DS, which is the only one in my state.

Initially, I only told my husband, my mom, and two best friends.  My husband wasn't supportive and we still don't talk about my weight loss or my surgery.  Even though I am looking pretty good now he still doesn't say anything (bummer).  At first my mom said "don't do that", but then she supported me no matter what even came to take care of me during my first week at home from the hospital.  One best friend was terrified but was supportive no matter what, and the other was supportive from the beginning since she had WLS many years back and never regretted it.  I didn't want anyone at work to know, but I think they have figured it out by now by some of the questions they are asking me.  I didn't have any major complications and have done very well so far.  I am so happy I had WLS and so far I don't regret it one bit.  I am not sure why, but I had a real hard time telling my son's.  I eventually did and they are good of course.    

I am sorry that your husband is not supportive of your WLS. That has to be tough.

My wife has been totally supportive. I did have some family that wasn't okay with it.

I had one family member call the night before surgery begging me not to go through with it. After 10 years of trying, I was pretty sure this was going to be my last chance at it.

While I will say that the first 12 hours after surgery were rough for me, I won't ever regret having this procedure.

One of my friends told me that she just had to ignore what others said and do what was best for her.  I took her advice and don't regret my decision one bit.  After struggling for such a long time trying to lose which I did, but couldn't maintain it and then my health taking a dive over the past 3 years it was definitely time for me to do something or I probably would have had another stroke.  I agree the first day after surgery is really tough.  I have a rare sleeping disorder and it is very difficult for me to wake up after anesthesia.  So that was the tough part for me just trying to wake up.  I really didn't have much pain.

 

I decided to just tell everyone. At work I was going to be out 6 weeks so figured it was easier. At church and with family I was expecting support so talked about it and got support. Only thing is I get tired of the same conversation over and over.

There's no way I could avoid telling people. 

I lost such a tremendous amount of weight in such a relatively short time period that rumors of dread disease( cancer, AIDS, anorexia, etc.)  were starting to circulate.

Let me put it this way - if you found the cure for cancer, would you keep it a secret?  That's exactly how I feel about the DS.  For friends of mine who asked, I pulled no punches, told them exactly what I did, and why...

I wanted to live!