DS Revelations

When I set out to have DS, I thought that it would only help me tackle my weight problems.  How wrong was I?!  The DS has opened my eyes to several things.  Here are the two I'm working on for now:

     1.  I am a food junkie.

I always thought "I don't eat much", "I can take food or leave it", "I don't have an eating problem".  However, now that I CAN'T eat much, I realize how much I LOVED food.  I depended on food to make me feel better.  Food was one of the highlights of my day.  Well, stuff that tasted good before, don't taste good anymore.  I'm not able to over-indulge anymore and it's frustrating.  So now I have to find healthier highlights. 

     2.  I am shallow.

I always thought "society is shallow".  It was always "them" and "they", but now I know its ME!  I don't like the way I look, I've never dated an obese lady, I've lost 77 pounds in 2 months but still can't SEE it.  So it's not just "them" and "they", it's me.  I'm shallow concerning myself.  I'm a law abiding citizen who loves to serve in church, help people, and work hard.  I never ask anyone for anything, but always willing to help when I'm asked.  I'm a peace maker, peace keeper, loving, friendly guy.  But when I look in the mirror, all of that is blocked by this big unattractive person staring back at me.  So now, I have to work on seeing myself for who I am inside and not just my waistline. 

More revelations to come!  Feel free to share some of your DS revelations.  It may help me to discover more.

Best wishes to everyone!

It's them, not me!

 

Like most other people, I got my DS to get healthy.  I had some particular health issues in my past and serious health issues potentially coming up in my future that I needed addressed immediately.  Controlling my weight was the best way to ensure a positive outcome for myself.

 

I had no problems being beautiful and plus size!  I was a bit shocked at how plus sized I had become, but I had no designs on skinny.  Mostly, from my DS, I wanted to be in normal sized clothes and have a normal BMI.

 

I found that people who claimed to love and support me basically threw tantrums at my transformation.  They all wanted me to "stop" because I looked "sick" and was getting "too skinny."  They said the most hateful, negative things that anyone could say.  My own grandmother told me she preferred me bigger.  I'm sure she does--that way, she can always say something negative to me, which is her MO.

 

I didn't have issues with me--others had issues with me.  After a few bouts of body dysmorphia and emotional catching-up, I find that I feel the same way about myself as I did pre-DS:  I'm smart, I'm beautiful, and I'm worth it.  It's sad that so many others who claim to love me don't feel the same way.

I hear ya!!!!!  I'll get there one day.  I love to hear from people who are where I'm trying to go. 

Congrats on your success!!!!

Don't be too hard on yourself!  You just realized you are like most everyone else.  Everyone forms an opinion when they meet someone.  It's just the way we are.  And when you meet a fat person, that's the first thing you notice.  And in our society, right or wrong, fat equals ugly and out of control.  That's just the way it is!

 

Just wait till you start seeing how differently you will be treated as a normal sized person!

I love fat people! Even b4 I was fat I loved fat people. I think its because my daughter has always been fat and I saw first hand how she was treatedd. I haver never stood for people making negative comments about someones weight. I always call them on it. My daughter is going to b having a 2 part DS. The sleeve is next Tuesday. Then a year later the second half. She is not doing to b skinney. Her doctor told her she wont live past 50 (she is 30) if she doesnt take the weight off. She is very beautuful (350 pds) and has always had a goid self image. Its the hurtful treatment that's she has received all her life that hurts. You can follow her on utube.

nclreed On utube

77 in 2 mos. man I'm jealous. Not really. Congrats in the amazing progress, keep up the good work.

I can really relate!  I'm only 4 weeks post op, but some of my "why did I do this" moments have been based on thoughts of all the food binges I was going to miss now that I just can't eat like that!

We've all done the right thing for our bodies - now we just have to get our minds to catch up!!

I remember having a little bit of a breakdown about three weeks out - I had given up soda (I was a diet Coke fanatic), had quit  smoking, and now post-DS, I couldn't eat much of anything...I remember sitting in my car one day and crying because I felt like "what did I have left that I enjoyed?"  I look back at it now and kind of laugh at the whole thing because you know what?  It all changes.  Your relationship with food will change, how much you can eat will change...things will become enjoyable again.  The immediate post-op phase (I'd say the first six months) is so hard, and no amount of research or counseling or whatever can fully prepare you for that - it's just something you have to work through firsthand.

I also completely get what you're saying about being shallow.  I don't find myself judging others about their weight/size, but I'm very shallow now when it comes to myself, and I don't think I was pre-op.  Sometimes that bothers me a little bit, but I also realize that maybe I just didn't care enough about my looks before?  And maybe it's not such a terrible thing that I care more about myself and how I look now.

I have finally found the confidence to leave my physically, verbally, emotionally abusive marriage. This will be hard, but it has to be done.