Please talk me off the ledge

 I am scheduled to have a DS in late July. I've done a tonne of research and am confident this is the right procedure for me.

The problem is that I am terrified of the actual surgery. I have had other surgeries before with no complications, but I am hung up on the 1% mortality rate. I have no health problems (yet) other than being super obese but I am afraid something will happen to me during surgery or post-op and I will leave my three and five year old without a mom. I am doing this surgery in large part so I can be more active with them and because I know that by staying this heavy I will likely die before my time, but the possibility of leaving them so young...I want to cry lust thinking about it.

The well intentioned concern from family and friends is only making things worse and my trip to The OH memorial board (I am not a masocist, but I committed to explore the good, bad, and ugly before I went through with this) has left me almost panicky.

Did anyone else go through this? Any advice?

 Hi! I had my surgery just 6 weeks ago, so the fear having it done is still fresh in my mind.  It is normal to be afraid, you wouldn't be human if you weren't.  There is a possibility that something could go wrong with ANY surgery.  

I have known many people that have had weight loss surgery, not one had any major complications.  Two previous co-workers had the RNY done 7 years ago, both look amazing today and feeling good.  Another friend of mine had the DS about 4 years ago, she has some issues with keeping her iron at a good level, but other than that she's great.  Her twin sister just had the DS done last December and is down over 100 pounds so far!!  And two co-workers of mine had weight loss surgery around the same time I did. One did the RYN and the other did the Sleeve.  The one that had the Sleeve got pregnant right after the surgery (A big no-no), so there may be complications because she may not be able to get in enough nutrients.  

But all of us came through the surgeries just fine.  All of us were scared, especially the ones that never had any prior surgeries.  It is good that you have done your homework.  I think it is important to know the good AND the bad.  

Good luck to you.  Keep us updated on your progress!

Of course all surgery has risk, but that 1% you mention is across the all DS surgeons. There are many that have never had even one death, yet others have well above that 1%.

All you can do is know the surgeons stats, and pick one of the better surgeons. So, how many DSs has your surgeon done, and what are his complication rates?

super obese...I know that by staying this heavy I will likely die before my time

Yeah, I used to think like that, too. Then I realized that before my time could be tommorrow.

What you are feeling is normal. The DS is the best thing I ever did for my health. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Please be sure you are willing to obey the vitamins/lab/protein rules of the DS.

I was petrified as well. As corny as it sounds the best thing I did for this was listen to meditation tapes geared towards people having surgery. The 2 I used and listened to right up until the moment I hit the OR were:

http://www.healthjourneys.com/Product_Detail.aspx?id=29& amp;mcid=10&catid=

https://www.touchstarpro.com/p-129-getting-ready-preparing-f or-surgery-chemotherapy-other-treatments.aspx

I know the second one has some cancer related meditation but I loved that CD. Bernie Siegal is amazing. He would have you visualize going into the OR and seeing all of the people preparing for your surgery. Also to see all of your friends and family there smiling at you and watching over you (I added all of the "faces" of OH members). I would have tears streaming down my face which was all very therapuetic. I swear that this all led to me having an amazing surgery and recovery. I was up walking 4 hours after surgery and out and about on the town within a few days. I never had any complications and it was all positive for me. Of course I had the best surgeon on the planet which helps!

Cheers,
Cathy

 I was scared just like you and everyone else.  But I was more scared of doing nothing.  I was seeing pictures of what my life would be like 5 or 10 years down the road and it wasn't pretty.  Everyone deserves a chance to live their life.

We can all say we know tons of people who had surgery and did just fine.  Many of us also know people who died.  It happens.  Not often but it's a chance you have to be willing to take.  99% is great odds.  I would take those to Vegas any time.

It's your ultimate choice.  You can be paralyzed by the 1% or bet on the 99%.

 You are very normal most feel the same way, but all surgeries carry risk, even teeth extraction.  Keep your mind on the final goal.  I had my surgery 2 1/2 years ago, I went from 328 to 150 (after plastics) my quality of life is so much improved, I only wish I had been able to have it sooner.  Keep the faith.

 Thank you all so much for your support. It is nice to know that many of you have been there. On Monday I ended up at the hospital with chest pains. They thought I might be having a heart attack. After having to request the very large hospital gown I sat there for hours waiting to get the results of my labs, wondering if at only 40'd had a heart attack. It gave me lots of time to think about my health and my weight and any remaining doubts I had about surgery are gone. The experience hammered home the point that although surgery may be risky, so is my current lifestyle. Fortunately the tests all came back fine, but I need to follow up with a cardiologist. Although I can't say it was a wake up call because I am fully aware of the heath risks that my obesity poses, it was more like someone pouring a bucket of water on my face while I was still dragging my butt out of bed.