STOP!!! Trying to "Talk Me Out Of Surgery" !!!!

 Ok, so this is just a vent session here, so if you are not interested in reading my pissy problems (lol) exit now.....

So, Good news is that I've made up my mind, I AM having surgery! And I am going to get started with a seminar on March 26th....I was reaching out for a little support on Face Book........And became very annoyed!!

After letting some of my close friends and family know that I am going to go through with surgery, I started getting a ton of response. Even on Face Book I had people just letting me know that they are very happy for me and very proud of me for making a great step toward a better healthier life. But then I started getting PM's from FB "friends" saying please don't have surgery, you are making a terrible decision, you do NOT need your guts all ripped open and rearranged, you are fine just the way you are, that's so dangerous,you have such a pretty face, most people gain their weight back, BLAH BLAH FREAKING BLAH!!!!

Oh! And I must NOT forget how many people sent me information on their Body by Vi shakes and all. They said that it was the BEST option, you get "surgery" results without being so aggressive and permanent.OMG! I'm sorry, I'm normally a cool, calm, happy, positive person, but how many times should I have to tell people NO THANK YOU!! and WHY should I have to do that!?!?!? 

I just feel like I needed to get that off my chest, because I know that someone here HAS to have dealt with that before, or even still dealing with it. It's like, if I've already made my decision, why do people think they are "saving my life" by talking me out of it? I feel that this is the best step for me to save my life, SHEESH! Not like I don't appreciate the concern, but I really wish those people who I dont really talk to would just keep their opinions to themselves, and let me feel good about myself and my decisions for once.

On the other hand, I am very grateful for my husband and my family for the BEST unconditional support I could ask for, besides from my wonderful friends I've met here of course ! 

Ok, I'm done with my ***** Fest! Thank you for those of you who stuck through this stupid post all the way through, your support and advice means more to me than I could ever express to you! Thank you !!!!!

I told my family and a few close friends. I had it blabbed to my extended family by my mom  and got calls from people (family) I hadn't talked to in years. Telling me not to do it I could do it on my own, if I exercised more, ate better, I could be skinny.I heard horror stories about, people who knew people, who had botched surgeries, and I could eat full bars from costco and lose 12 lbs. like my 400lb cousin..omg... I didn't have to take the "easy way out and go thru surgery"  Finally I got so fed up that I told the biggest gossip in the family "that I was having surgery , I had done my research, and if you didn't pay my bills or have anything to contribute to my healing and happiness or life then your opinion didn't mean anything to me!" that got back really quick and the calls stopped. If it wasn't for my loving hubby and kick ass sisters, best friends I wouldnt have had any support. Mind you these people telling me that I could do it on my own are/were super morbidly obese and unhealthy as hell! So why didn't they take their own advice? 
according to one because she was happy and felt she was healthy.. with hbp, diabetes, and other health problems...I wish you the very best on your journey. Congrats on your decision and as a very wise 90 yr.old lady once told me " you wouldn't let someone **** in your ear, then why do you listen to them talk ****" lol might have been funnier considering she was a tiny gramma type..  

 Isn't it crazy how other people think their opinions are going to make you change your mind?? In fact, I have a friend that is all set up for her 2nd consultation with her surgeon for Lap-Band, and she is approved and everything, and then she finally told her mom about the surgery, and her mom offerred to pay for her to get a gym membership for a year. I just thought to myself, well, if that was the motivation she needed to get herself on track to lose the weight without surgery, then kudos to her! However, since she's always struggled with her weight, I would hope for parents to be supportive in whatever decision she makes....IDK, that's my opinion!

OMG ******g in the ear, sooo effing funny!! haha, I love it, and can't wait to use that!!!!

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone, and making it through my venting, I certainly appreciate your support!!!

 Good for you to stick by your decision to change your life with the help of medical care.

I chose the D.S. and Dr.Kemmeters group to help me become healthy,  lose my extra weight, and improve my life.  Painful  arthritis was limiting my activities, and ability to walk. Pain free now, happy I made my decision to have the D.S.. More people should look into surgical help. If they dont know anything about it, they should not be able to sway you from your decision. Learn from DSFACTS.com. You can talk to your heavy friends and relatives, educate them. Soon, after you are looking fantastic, energised and happy, they will be wanting to follow in your footsteps!!!

Good luck on your life  journey, it never ends, but it sure does get a whole lot better!!!!

Sandra  ;-)

The problem lies with them, not you. 

I didn't tell many people, other than my immediate family.....just for that reason.  I didn't want to hear anything.  I made up my mind that I was having the surgery.  I learned from my previous mistakes of telling people about going on a "diet" or trying "pills" from my doctor, or having a lapband put in and then fail....etc.... and they all had their opinions or scare tactics.  The last thing I wanted to hear this time around, "oh you tried that before, why don't you just diet and excersize."   Then the explanation of the type of surgery.....it's not a gastric bypass.

People that haven't had a battle with themselves with their weight, have no idea what we folks have gone through, physically and mentally.  The ups and downs.  The years and poundage of losing and gaining.   The guilt trips.  They haven't walked in your shoes, so how could they possibly comprehend.

what counts the most is your own self and your decision.  If you are satisfied and confident with that decision, then everyone else's is irrelavant.  Thank them for their opinions/concerns, but you have made up your mind.  People tend to be afraid of the unknown, so they are afraid for you.   Wait till they see you in a year.  Then they will be asking you, what did you do, what kind of surgery?  who was your surgeon? 

Best wishes to you on your journey!

Isn't it amazing when you tell your MOM that you don't want anyone else to know,
she thinks that means she can tell everyone! Gotta love moms.

Sometimes it really is best to just not talk about it with anyone except the
person who is gonna help pay for it and take care of you after. Make them 
sign a confidentiality agreement if you need to. I mean this as a joke but it's
not a bad idea HMMM?

Everyone tells a pregnant woman a horror story about childbirth, Why, I don't
understand. Moms tell their kids that the dentist is gonna "rip out their teeth"
(I work in  a dental office and this one really ****** me off). It is human
nature that when something is scary we make it worse.

Surgery is scary. You have been on this site long enough to have read the good,
the bad and the ugly. You are an adult and are doing whats best for YOU and
no one else.

I told a woman one time who made a comment and maybe I was too harsh with
her but I had had enough. I said that if I had a lump in my breast and it was gonna
kill me shouldn't I remove it so I could live and be healthy? She said it wasn't the same
thing. But in my case it was. Obesity was gonna kill me, slowly, painfully. Yes it was,     

  So I did what I needed to to be healthy and live. Some women choose to have a lumpectomy, radiation or a complete mastectomy. It was a decision they made with
their doctors and loved ones and for themselves. My RNY was decided between me
 and my doctor with the help of my husband. Nobody else.


Smile at the naysayers, thank them for their comments and just move on. You will never 
change their minds.

You are amazing the way you are right now, beautiful no matter what. So is a rose when it's just
a bud. And like the rose, I cant wait to see you bloom!!!

Dani 

An observation.  When we tell others' about our decision or even so much as share something personal with another, they interpret it: as asking for their opinion.  So much so, that for many it's like you're asking them for their "permission".  Esp when it comes to family.

Never, never never allow someone to browbeat you into listening to their bs.  Your decision is YOUR decision.  Would you ask all these other people's permission, to get pregnant?  Of course not.  Same thing, I think.  What you do to your body is YOUR business.  

cheers :)

 Surgery by choice scares the hell out of a lot of people.  It's the fear of the unknown.  They also don't have all of the knowledge that you've acquired to getting here, so don't take it personally.   I remember my uncle looking at me with a straight face and asked "have you just just tried dieting?"  Really???? I never thought of that.

Yeah, so I know exactly what you mean, my brother and sister in law have been everything BUT supportive in my surgery decision.  As I started losing weight because of the 2 week liquid diet my dr told me to do, they both said "see, you don't need a surgery to loose weight, just go on a really strict diet,"  Mind you, these people weight barely over 200 lbs, and don't know what it is like to be significantly overweight enough to consider a weight loss surgery.  It still makes me angry, I'm about 2 weeks post-op, and they still can't keep their comments to themselves.  2 days before my surgery was my birthday, so I asked if it would be possible to have a game night without food, and was basically told that I was being completely unreasonable because they have 6 kids and they have to eat.  Anyhow, yes I know there are people out there that just don't know how to be supportive.  They think they are trying to help but they aren't.

 Really? Food was an issue? It really dissapointing when you can't ask for a very simple request, especially when it is for you to better yourself you know?? BUT.....if you can find great support like with your spouse, and even with ppl here on OH like I have, you can keep your "eyes on the prize"! Keep doing what's best for you, cause that's what everyone else is doing lol!