How/what do you tell people?

My surgery is booked for 3/12 and I haven't told the VAST majority of my friends.  My Husband and immediate family all know as well as one friend of mine.  I confided in her what I am doing because she's had WLS and understands.

I am torn because on one hand I don't think it's anyone's business what I am doing and secondly, I feel ashamed that I have let my weight get so far out of control.

I quit my job just under 2 years ago to be a stay-at-home Mom, so the only people who I routinely see are the other parents of preschoolers and my children's teachers.  I moved a substancial distance away from my hometown and rarely see friends.  We keep in contact on Facebook, but they never see photos of me (I am sure you understand why), but only of my children.

I've read the links on how to deal with rude people and what not, but not what you actually say when you meet up with a good or close friend and they have that initial shock on their face.  I am just at a loss of how to approach the subject when they bring it up. 

I wouldn't tell anyone else until you're switched. Then when you're ready and you start seeing people you can tell them, if you choose, when they ask how you did it. I have no trouble telling strangers and family, but I still won't tell people involved with where I work.

--g 

i still haven't told most friends and family.  my father doesn't even know.  i decided to make this journey very private and personal. only 2 girlfriends and hubby are in the know.

You don't have to tell anyone.  What you do with your body is your business. If someone notices you are losing weight, and asks you how you are doing it, just say "I am watching what I eat." And it will be true. You will be watching to make sure you are getting your protein, water, and vites in. 

Before my surgery I was so ashamed that I had gotten so big and that I needed surgery to correct it.  As soon as I woke up in recovery I couldn't have cared less anymore.  I knew that I was about to embark on a life changing journey and the past and how I got there meant zip to me.  I had told all of my friends and family I was having surgery.  I said it in a way and with a tone of voice that said it was not up for debate.  I had complete support except for one person. 
Now I don't hold back from telling anyone.  If it comes up or is relevant I tell people.  Oh well.  I figure it's easier to be completely upfront then try to remember who I told.  Plus, people talk and secrets and confidentiality are myths.  It's better to tell people yourself then have it discovered in the rumor mill.  Just my opinion.  I hope you find peace around your decision and lose the shame around it.  It's so nice to be free!!!!  :)

The answer is...tell only the people you want to.

In my case, I tell everyone and anyone. I am proud that I beat an insidious disease that was killing me and trying to take me away from my family. If I had cancer and the treatment was chemotherapy, I would tell people. The DS is no different in my book. It saved my life.

I found myself saying the same thing again and again. "Yep, I've lost X pounds and I feel great. I had a life-saving surgery, the DS." I always made sure that no one thought I had the gastric bypass or the band. I did not want that responsibility on my head (if someone thought that's what I had and went out and did it, too and had predictable, crap results.)

I was a SAHM and I had my DS four years ago, when my older son was in pre-school. He went to a different school in K and no one there knew about my DS. So, as appropriate, I told a few people and it spread like wildfire. Now pretty much everyone knows and that's cool with me. My other kid was only 22 months old when I had my DS, and none of his friends' families knew about it.  But now many of them do. My kids don't care one bit. They have heard me tell the story a million times and "get it," as best they can.

I am not ashamed of my DS. I WOULD be ashamed of myself if I had not done something to save my life, though.

Nicolle

Thank you all, I am glad I am not alone.   I will more than likely tell more of my closest when the time comes, but until then, I'd rather keep this journey to myself.

I am certainly NOT ashamed of my decision to have the DS, it will extend my life and I look foward to living the life in which I've only dreamed of; for me, my Husband and my children. 

 Although a ways out, working toward DS or VSG (insurance dependent), I have shared my plans with co-workers,friends, and family. It has been hard to hear the negetivity, but really hope it will inspire others to consider this life saving surgery.

I only my immediate family and that was it. I told them not to tell anyone and if they needed to disclose information that I was getting a surgery to correct my metabolic and endocrine disorders. Which is true but not fully. I consider this private and maybe someday i will own it but as of right now I just want to live my life without anyone judgeing me. My husband doesn't understand how embarrassing it can be. So to make him understand I compared it to a penile enlargement. I asked him if he would want me blabbing if he got a penile enlargement.... and of course that shed some light for him. lol

Everyone is different and it is really on how you feel about it.:) good luck

I didn't tell many people, only those with whom I have a really close relationship and felt comfortable to tell.  Other than that, it's noone's business.  As others started noticing and made comments, I'd simply say thank you.  If they asked how, I would share the changes in eating (high protein, very low to no carb, increased water, reduced sweets, etc.) which is true.  Aside from that, they don't need to know.

I'm not ashamed of having had the surgery, but I know people can use it against you and judge you for it and I don't want to be bothered with that, so no reason to even open the door to it.  Trust your judgement, you'll know who and what to tell . . or not tell.

Jojo