new dr and other stuff (some off topic)( a little long)

i saw the new gi specialist on monday. he is doing an egd and colonoscopy this coming thursday. his preliminary diagnosis is crohns disease but he want to confirm this with the new tests. i am a little bit nervous/ frustrated in not being able to eat properly for the 3 days before the test.he said no fiber or red meat for the first 2 days and then nothing but clear liquids the day before the test so i cant even get in my protein shakes. i hope the prep for the tests doesnt make me even more sick than i already am. i also cant have my multivitamin for the next week.
i applied for SSI for my son 39 months ago and we were supposed to see a judge about it this coming monday. we have had a lawyer on the case since april. the lawyers office called yesterday and said the judge has clead his calendar for next week and our new hearing is set for april.i have a lot of other stressful things going on at home and i dont know how much more i can take. i know all of this stress isnt helping with my health issues but until i know what is wrong with me and get it under control and get my sons case approved, i cant financially afford to deal with the other stress. i am in therapy and the therapist keeps telling me to ditch all causes of unnecessary stress in my life but to be able to do that i need a lot of emotional support and i am having trouble getting that because there is very little i can say openly where my husband might see or hear it. i have been trying to save up some money but it is difficult because i am on disability and i am constantly being questioned on how i spend my money. the last year has been one disaster after another. i have never been a strong person and i just dont know how much more i can take. i have bipolar disorder with my of my phases beeing depressed and right now none of my meds are working. i started smoking again a few months ago because of all the stress and i constantly get harassed about it and not because the person is worried about my health. for anyone who has taken the time to read all of this.... thank you for listening.

(((((((((( Big Hugs to You  ))))))))))

Here is a hug for you!!!

I am so very sorry to hear about what you are going through.
Stress is a killer. Period.
I know it seems impossible, but please find some way to try to reduce the amount of stress in your life.
I wish I had some great words of wisdome, but I dont.
I hope that things turn around for you.

Hugs.