2.5 years out, have been non compliant

First, let me start off by saying I'm not looking for sympathy, or to be coddled, or to be handled with kid gloves. I know that doesn't happen here.

What I did, I did to myself, and I know that. I made the choices I made, and I will have to deal with the consequenses. I have already contacted my surgeons nurse, and she is, as usual, on the ball, getting me straight.

I'll try to give you the short version. I had the DS 2.5 years ago. I didn't prepare enough, I didn't take it seriously enough, and I certainly didn't give it my all on the follow through.

I was non compliant from the very beginning. I was that girl who ate 4 chocolate chip cookies a week after surgery, despite me having that little thingy in my guts that Dr. Hares uses, and, I could have killed myself, and, I knew that, but I wanted the damn cookies. Yeah...that's me.

I never exercised, and I only kept up with my supplements for about a year following surgery. I did have a round of iron infusions about 17 months post op, but since then, have not had any. I didn't eat right, and I don't eat right now. I highly doubt I am getting even 60 grams of protien a day.

Bottom line, now, I'm panicking. I have had kidney stones on several, several occassions that have had to be surgically removed, I have tingling in my hands, wrists, toes and feet that will not go away. I have bilateral lower extremity pitting edema that lasix is not resolving. I'm fatigued, I'm depressed. I, am getting sick. I feel it.

I know how non compliant pt's effect hopeful ds'rs. I know we give the surgery a bad name. I know I've been a stupid (insert swear word here) I know.

I want to start over, I want to be healthy, I want to be here for my boys, I want to change my habits and get on the straight and narrow. I'm terrified. I'm overwhelmed. I'm freakin out. I feel like a brand newbie who knows nothing, because, I haven't kept up with anything, and now I've forgotten it all. Help me. Please.

I am going to post some of my significant lab values, from August, which are my most recent labs, so, approximately 2 years out at the time. Like I said, I contacted Dr. Hares nurse, and I know she is on it. If you feel the need to to beat me bloody with a thorough tongue lashing, please do, just, while you're at it, please help me.

Emilie

Total protien- 5.9
albumin- 3.5
prealbumin- 20.9

Hgb- 10.7
Hct- 31.8
TIBC- 199
B12- 285 (augh!!)

Vitamin D- 34

I didn't get a PTH, A, Zinc etc...done, so I don't know those figures. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

P.S. I would do it all over again, I would just do it right. I've lost 192 lbs, and am 7 lbs away from my goal. My life has changed in big ways, huge ways, little ways, eensy weensy ways. I wouldn't take it back, I just would do it the right way.