Pre-op jitters (I know it's to be expected, but they're so intense!)

My surgery (with Dr. Gagner) is precisely one week from today, and I am suddenly terrified. I am having all the usual pre-op jitters, i.e., "What have I gotten myself into?", "Is this really worth dying for and leaving my son without a mother?", "What is wrong with me that I would rather risk death than exert a little willpower??"

I keep reminding myself that I did all my research, if I don't do this now, I will eventually die from complications of my "inability to exert a little willpower" etc., etc., but that approach is not helping at all. My heart is racing, I can't concentrate on anything else, and I'm not sure how I'm going to make it to next Wednesday without having a heart attack (figuratively).

Maybe I should try to stop thinking about it, period?

I'm 6 weeks post surgery and I have to tell you, I felt EXACTLY like you are now before mine.  I had to take sedatives at night to get to sleep and I was convinced that I was going to die on the table and leave my little boy without a mother.  I even took out life insurance! 

If you're like me, no amount of anyone telling you it's going to be alright will help, though it is nice to hear.  All I can say is that in one week you'll be awake and on the other side and your friends will all be saying "see? I told you it would be ok".  In the end it's the fear of dying early from being morbidly obese and leaving our family, that gets us to the operating table and to the other side, hold onto that and this next week will go in no time. Remember long deep breaths when the panic attack****

I'll be keeping everything crossed for you for an uneventful operation and a boring and routine recovery! 

My surgery with Dr. Gagner is the day before you.  I am not anxious yet; I am the one reassuring friends and family that everything is going to be okay.
I am trying to keep myself occupied and not think about the surgery.  Sleeping at night is difficult for me right now due to arthritis pain and restless leg syndrome.  I think subconsciously I am anxious and that could be contributing to my sleep problems too.
You and are both going to do well.
Are you staying in a motel after your surgery?  I have my motel booked from the 19th to the 24th.  If I need to stay longer, I will deal with that after surgery.
Good luck on your surgery.
Take care.
Penny
 

I had my freak out sessions, too.  It spilled over into my dreams, and basically consumed me everyday for a good week or two!  Then, the day of surgery, I was nervous on the way to the hospital... but when we arrived, I was cool as a cucumber.  The only time I cried was when I told my parents I'd see them soon.

This is an amazing gift that you're giving to yourself, and to your son.  Just make sure that everyone you're close to knows that you love them, and give your fears over to God, the universe, or what ever you believe in.  It helped me so much!

The day before and the day of surgery are so busy, that you really don't have the time to keep your mind on it.  So, just breathe in deep (I did this A LOT on the way to the hospital), and try to tune out the fears.  Keep your mind off of that part and just focus on all of the positives and the life you are going to have afterwards.

I wish you the best of luck!

Nic

It's normal to have these types of thoughts before having your DS. I know I had simliar internalizing but let me tell you...the day before and the day of my DS, I was so calm it drove my family insane...they were more nervous than I was. Trust in your decision, in your surgeon and remind yourself why you're doing this.

Thanks to all *****plied - your words have had a calming effect - or at least they did until I got an e-mail saying I would be spending one night in the surgical centre (Westmount Square) followed by 1-2 nights in a convalescent facility: 

http://www.retirementhomes.com/homes/Detailed/30249.html

In the event complications should arise, I do NOT feel comfortable being discharged to a non-medical facility the day after surgery. Am I overreacting???

I'd say no, you're not over reacting--you are being pro-active in your own health care and that is to be commended. Talk to your surgeon about your feelings before your DS and see if there are other alternatives to the convalescent facility. Or you can discuss how it works there and it might sooth your concern.

eta: spelling doh!

Funny how we are all so much alike yet so different. I am 64 years old and have only spent one night in the hospital up to the DS surgery and that was for a sleep test. The only surgery that I have had prier was a knee scope that came about 2 months before the DS. I did not get the jitters much at all, I felt confident in the hospital and my surgeon but to be fair maybe some of it was that I had never been in that position before so I was looking forward to it?

My wife on the other hand is a bundle of nerves when she THINKS that they may put her in the hospital. If they are talking surgery , well lets just say that she does not handle it well.


Good luck and they will take good care of you. After it's over you will be so proud of yourself for taking this stand!