Need some advice on my husband with my new DS

So my husband is all for the DS for me. It took him a bit to warm up to the idea because he was worried about my safety and overall health. I have been trying to educate him in the DS so that if there is an emergency he can relay to my doctor and be able to help my doctor if I am incapacitated. I do have medical ID ordered for this type of information but still I think it’s important that he knows what exactly is going on. So if he sees the doctor doing something he shouldn’t be he can go to battle for me and keep me healthy when I am not able to.

Ok so the problem is…. He is not listening to me and also not learning anything about the DS! I have shared stories from OH and have talked to him about what is being done. I have also shown him pictures and articles. He acts like he is listening but hasn’t been. I also explained to his mother that I would like my husband to know all this info in case of emergency and she said it was a great idea. So why is he not caring right now? Seriously, does he not see that if I am incapacitated that the only person that will know what’s going on is him and he has to relay that! I am tired of giving him the material to learn, when he doesn’t want to.

Is this normal husband behavior? How can I snap him into caring enough to take interest?

Or

Should I just depend on myself and keep my medical ID on me at all times? (I have the RoadID tag that doctor’s can log into my medical account and look at EVERYTHING)

 

Need your wisdom here because I don’t know what else to do.

Should I just depend on myself and keep my medical ID on me at all times? (I have the RoadID tag that doctor’s can log into my medical account and look at EVERYTHING)

You have your answer.  My husband is very similar.  I hope that he would have enough brains to have anyone call my surgeon and PCP for things that he could not answer (and that would be a lot!) yet I can't count on even that.  I am in the process of preparing an emergency flash drive with pictures, history, medicines, supplements, etc. and he will be told it is my life or death link.  Since it's all techie (being a flash drive and all), I think I'm about as safe as I can be barring having all that stuff tattooed all over my abdomen and back.

Good luck.

(And while I'm at it, I'll make one for him as there are some gaps in his history that I need to have filled in.  I know quite a bit, but there is also the chance of total brain fart when I'm panicked.  Like when he was given a local anesthesia injection and went into respiratory failure and placed on a ventilator.  My emotions really scrambled my brain and I was 50% useless.)

Make sure you have a "Plan B" like your Medical ID and flash drive, but don't totally give up on your husband. Dudes can be slow sometimes. Real slow.  But if you keep hammering him with the important details... a little bit at a time... he'll likely absorb most of it my osmosis.

My husband is finally to the point where he knows that I don't have the "cheap surgery", the "bypass", the RNY or whatever surgery most people assume you have when you get WLS. He knows I have a duodenal switch. He knows I need lots of water and he hounds me about taking my vitamins... which is good! He knows what I can and can't eat. He's still a little fuzzy on the whole anatomy diagram, but he's getting there. He has also met my surgeon in person, remembers his name and would be able to figure out how to contact him if necessary.

I think once you actually have the surgery he'll start paying a bit more attention to the details. That's the way my husband was.

Good luck!

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So, I expected my husband to be like that, particularly because he left school in 5th grade, and has a deathly phobia of hospitals... he thinks they kill people on purpose there.

But today, he valiantly sat through the pre-op class in SLC with me, and even paid attention and read part of the very thick educational materials they gave us. I was touched, and proud of him, to be so far out of his comfort zone for my sake!

He waited patiently with me to pre register for the hospital, and literally snatched a piece of illicit cheesecake my sister had given me from my greedy little hands. Made me mad, but he was right.

Then, to top it all off, he told me tonight that he fell asleep, for a nap when he got home, holding our wedding picture!

I would never, never, in a million years, have expected that behavior from my macho-type ex-wrestler and carnival roustabout of a husband!!!!

So, if there is hope for him, there is hope for all of the husbands, everywhere!

Nonetheless, tell me about these medical alert options... I want something like that for the sake of safety!

~Lisa

I took some advice from a post awhile ago and I did save it but it is on my work comp :) Anyway someone mentioned www.roadid.com. You have to buy one of their products and on the id tag it has username and password. It directs doctors or medical personel to log into this account and it will show all your meds, doctors, name, address, insurance, medical conditions, and even details you want to put in yourself. I LOVE THIS! I just got it yesterday! :) I plan on using it when I hunt or go working out because its more of an outdoorsy wear. 

My plan is for everyday wear to use www.laurenshope.com to order a nice necklace and braclet with the medical symbol on it for an easy tell tale. Also on the back instead of ingraving short phrases I will put to login to my www.roadid.com and also put my username and password on these products as well:)

Some people carry a usb and some carry an id in their wallet. :) hope this helps

Thank you for your replies! I am glad to know this is not just my husband that suffers from this lol I think when they start to wheel me in will it finally hit him. I was getting my vitalady medicenter ready and he was like ..."ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS VITAMINS!" i just giggled and said yes hun He had this big concerned face on all these vits I was loading up. He called me a drugy! lol

I would guess you need to pull that choke collar tighter when you got him cornered and talking to him. Yes complications are  possible but maybe you are taking it to a higher level? Your husband will eventually warm up to the new eating habits and the awesome changes you will experience.But it is pretty heavy stuff to absorb all at once. Good luck and I wish you all the best in your surgery. Steve

I had written one for my mother and had an EMT tell me that it saved her life, so now I have a medical info list for me. I list all current rx and dosages, OTC drugs taken regularly, and vitamins listed. My doctors' names and phone numbers, a list of all implanted devices: I have pins in my left elbow from a compound fracture, list of all surgeries and medical issues.

Then I have a second page with a diagram and a description of the DS. I explain that the way I malabsorb is similar to Cystic fibrosis and a brief explanation of my dietary requirements.

I have one in my glove compartment and several copies in a cabinet next to the front door. My best friend, my family, and my boyfriend all have copies.

It tells any medical professional all they need to know. All your husband needs to know is where yours is and to be sure to give one copy to the EMT, one to the ER triage nurse, and have one handy for the attending physician because they tend to disappear.

Print it out. In an emergency, no one is going to be fiddling with your flash drive, but they will visually scan a concise, well-organized medical info list.

Great Advice! I will do it!

~Lisa